I gave my life to Jesus at age 6 at a VBS. I drifted from God in high school. I got a Depo Provera birth control shot at age 17 and I had a bad side effect of anxiety and paranoia. I didn’t get any treatment, just never got one again.
I went to college and my sophomore year I was searching for truth and meaning in life. I met a pastor who shared his journey with Jesus and through this encounter, I decided to re-dedicate my life to Jesus. I struggled on and off with depression. People at my church just encouraged me to trust God/pray/ resist the devil/worship/know who I am in Christ.
I survived ok this way until after graduation. Then, friends were scattered and I drifted away from God. I got in to doing ecstacy, went dancing a lot, got raped by a man who put roofies on my drink. I struggled with depression severely during this time and was diagnosed bipolar. A group of friends went to a concert, I blacked out and woke up with a girl. We fell in love. Unfortunately, she was a crack addict.
I left her after 8 months and her stealing money from me. After 2 years, I wanted Jesus again. I followed Jesus and enjoyed a wonderful time worshipping God, enjoying His presence, and healing from the past.
After 4 years, I had a complete emotional breakdown. I had gotten caught up in doing so much for God and didn’t know how to deal with all the suffering I witnessed at the homeless shelter I worked at. I left God for 7 years and just did my own thing.
I finally came back to Jesus in 2014. It’s been 10 years, and I want to follow God forever. I’ve been off psychiatric medication for 14 years; it is a miracle!
Things that have helped:
- Changing my inner beliefs, for example instead of believing I’m not good enough, I believe I can do all things through Christ has strengthened me and I am amazing the way I am, even on the journey to grow and change. It’s a daily journey to keep renewing my mind.
- Eating fairly healthy, eating when hungry, and not pay any attention to all the weight loss pressure.
- Taking a homeopathic remedy for emotional balance.
- Taking care of myself.
- Living a lifestyle of encouraging and loving others.
- Taking parts of the Bible and just trusting God with the parts that are hard to understand or accept.
- I’m married to a wonderful man. I’m still attracted to women; I just choose to stay true to my husband. In some churches, I just don’t always take what they say in. People who are extreme, I just let them be themselves without taking what they say personally.
I still sometimes struggle emotionally, but overall, I’m grateful and have a wonderful life homeschooling my 3 children.
Praise God! I can do relate with your testimony Sister. Followers of Christ also face resistance from the world. “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Timothy 3:12). Jesus did not promise His disciples that everything would be coming up roses for them; just the opposite—He promised that they would have trials in this world (John 16:33). “But take heart!” He told them, “I have overcome the world.”
God bless you Sister! I do hope I can also share my testimony of how powerful and alive God is. God is so good and His love endures forever.
Thank God for saving you. May the Lord continue to sustain you in this journey of faith. May you fulfill the purpose of God for your life in Jesus name.
Keep fellowshiping in the church, read your Bible and pray regularly. God will surely perfect your deliverance. The Lord will give you total victory over attraction to women in Jesus name.
Shalom
Praising God with you. Thank you for sharing.