I recently posted a Testimony titled “Help me get back to God” & the comments I got really helped.
I think I’m struggling with my thought life, there’s just this war in my mind that I have no control over. Ever since my fall, I’ve tolerated too many lies, allowed space for the wrong people to come into my life. And now I’m stuck, no matter how many times I cry, I just don’t seem to change & my heart doesn’t seem to turn but remains stone cold.
What is Change? Do I Change Or Does God do the Transformation? I really don’t know anymore, I can’t talk to friends cause they dealing with their own Issues, can’t talk to my Parents, cause they too have their own problems. The church I go to have their own events to plan & other lives to save & counsel. Did God bring me to this place where I’m standing alone? At the point where I don’t want people to know Im on life support but at the same time screaming for help.
Dealing with so much hurt, searching for love in the wrong people who end up rejecting me, I end up thinking about my ex who’s moved on, the devil keeps reminding me about her (things ended bad between us). My emotions are all over the place and my heart just doesn’t seem to be moved about what’s happening in me & around me. What do you call that?
I need to know where to go from here. How to retrace my steps. How do I go about getting healing for my brokenness, recovering my relationship with God? I’ll accept anything God has to offer me, no matter how small it may be. I just wanna get out of this!!!
I’m really Stuck…
Precious Child of God,
Your testimony moved my heart because I too was the same 2 years ago when i was going through a brokeness in regard to a broken relationship in my heart, i had nobody to talk about my problem, my parents couldnt understand, i couldnt talk to my best friends just nobody was there to understand my heartbreaking pain and agony and thats when i called onto Jesus because i had no other option for my healing.
Jesus stepped into my life, i did not know to pray or anything, i hardly had a conversation with jesus on those days but Jesus knew i needed him, so he brought a sis in my life, she prayed for my peace and kept on telling me again and again to pray to Jesus to give me His Holyspirit, now i had no idea what it was or what it does but i just kept saying it in my frustation…just give me your Holyspirit even though i dont know what it really does, i just need healing, help me.
And things went on this way, i had least interest in God and so much pain and agony in my heart that kept me coming to Jesus, but i did not cease to ask him for his Holyspirit
Jesus after 2 months, on 1st december 2010, the Lord blessed me with His Holyspirit and it moved me completely, i was all changed!!!!! MAN I GOTTA TELL YOU HE IS SOOO REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!
His Holyspirit is POWERFUL, from that time onwards, i felt this healing going on and on progressively and i was totally healed of brokeness, soo much boldness, confidence on God, His Holyspirit is my councellor now, i dont have to look for any church or any pastor, just nobody, i do not even go to church because of my non beleive parents but in my locked room Jesus comes in my heart whenever i call him and His Holyspirit interceeds for me then Jesus comes in my heart and I feel this peace and power, wow amazing, the Holyspirit actually talks to you like a person with your own voice, which is true, it will actaully tell you and you will hear it speaking in your heart saying this is the way walk in it. Holyspirit connets you to God and when you have it you dont need nothing in this world because you overcome the world and gain victory as the Holyspirit breaths because bible says….the God’s Spirit that is inside you is greater than what is outside that is the devil.
So I urge you to pray for your Holyspirit baptism, you gotta have it, there is no other way to life but through JESUS, i have tasted it and i am soooo very much in LOVE with Jesus now, i love it love it love it .
So do not lose heart but start praying to God for his Holyspirit and its EASY because bible says…ask whatever you want in my name and it will be given to you, how much more will your Heavenly Father give you when you ask for His Holyspirit. so start now because today is your time, it might be too late tomorrow, without Holyspirit we will be deceived even through pastors or churches.
The Holyspirit in me just prayed for you to God Almighty and this is His Word for you…..
Ezekiel 34:31
You my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, are people, and I am your God, declares the Sovereign LORD.
Jesus directly spoke it to my heart for YOU, please read it, im not telling you to forcingly read bible because without Holyspirit you can not EAT THE WORD OF GOD, you will just read it and forget, you gotta EAT THE WORD.
God bless you my friend in Christ and many wishes in your walk of life, which is full of victory in Jesus, Amen.
Wow. You are right in the middle of a powerful testimony that is set for you! This desperation is a GOOD thing, though painful. It is the process of coming to the end of yourself and realizing you are nothing APART from Him.
My life changed when I invited the Holy Spirit to my prayer life! I didn’t know how to pray. It was cold and impersonal and totally ineffective. I knew something was missing. So I asked for 3 months that God would teach me how to pray…I was missing it…missing something. I knew there was more.
One night a new friend was over. She looked at me, paused and asked if she could pray for me. She felt called to pray, even though she was afraid, she knew the Holy Spirit was urging her to pray for me. I eagerly said, “yes.” She layed hands on me that night and prayed that the Holy Spirit would annoint me. I was SO desperate for Him. I was ready to let go of my pride, thinking I had Him all figured out. I had to open myself up to HIS way. And WOW it is the most POWERFUL, JOYFUL, incredible way!! I was missing the JOY of being a Christian! I was missing His presence through the power of the Holy Spirit…something I had access to all along. His PRESENCE IS THE ANSWER! Seek and you will find, Knock & the door will be opened & then Listen & He will teach you His language!! He loves you & longs for you!
I love the first comment…AMAZING!!
You need to know that God will meet your need. HE HAS ALREADY PAID THE PRICE FOR ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. He’s paid it all, now what you need to do is TRUST in what he has already done. Keep your faith anchored on what he has already paid for. I’m not going to say it’s going to be perfect after that, The devil will attack because he knows you got the answer. It’s just You simply putting your faith in Jesus Christing and trusting on what he has already done. Simple. Stay in the word as well. Let me please suggest you to watch SBN if you have Cable. It’s on there, if you have dish, its on there directv too. Watch it God lead me to this Tv Ministry. Sonlifebroadcasting. You can contact me anytime.
Pray, have faith, Trust.
I am moved by your post and I think we need to chat more and discuss exactly what your struggles are.
Please give me your email address
My Email. Thamiputuma at gmail dot com. Thank you all..
Its amazing how open your are about where you are at this point in your life.Believe it or not God has brought you to this place for more than just yourself.Many christian talk about Jesus and how he died and he has saved them ,yet suffer with brokeness and sometimes it feels like you walking with a huge sore on your heart that just won’t heal..And somehow the more you try to reach out to people they rejct you that it feels like they are rubbing sandpaper in your already wounded heart..I can relate to that ..I can only tell you to go back as you are a christian .Have you ever prayed to God and asked Lord make me more like you..Sometimes we as christians are not aware how every prayer get answered ,and even when it is in his will .God loves a broken spirit and a contrite heart.But enough on that .You are hurting and the only other person in this world who hurt to the point of his death was Jesus.heartbroken he died ,rejected,insulted,an alien to the ones who should have accepted him.I say Go back to Isaiah 53 and meditate on it .Think of this man ,who actaully had not a bad fibre in his boned ,The most loving man to ever walk across the earth,think of how he bled and died..think of the rejection he felt..Think of the sorrow he felt daily knowing so many people would rather kill him tha accept him.Identify with him .that is how I came to know Jesus.Heartbroken and so rejected ..I turned to the only person I was told who loved me regardless of my past and loved me even though he already knew how evil I could be…Jesus is the only one who can heal your deepest pain,But in order to trust him ..you have to understand the pain he went through..Just like you know he is your saviour,Now he wants you to know him as your healer..Many times as christians we rush this relationship with him and claim he is our healer ,provider,deliverer..but it is a process you go through..you never know how strong your freindship is with someone until you actually go through a hardship and they remain and when you come out of it ,you reliase if ever you have to go through that hardship again they will be there..and the same with healing ,take it one day at a time ,Allow yourself to feel the pain but when you done just pray and say Lord strengthen me to go on…I hope this helped a bit ..I’m not to good on just giving scripture I do believe I am walking with Christ daily and as soon as I feel hurt I dnt condem myself I just know Jesus will strenghten me more to continue.
Email me guys if you like… Email: thamiputuma at gmail dot com