On My Knees Again…

I recently posted a Testimony titled “Help me get back to God” & the comments I got really helped.

I think I’m struggling with my thought life, there’s just this war in my mind that I have no control over. Ever since my fall, I’ve tolerated too many lies, allowed space for the wrong people to come into my life. And now I’m stuck, no matter how many times I cry, I just don’t seem to change & my heart doesn’t seem to turn but remains stone cold.

What is Change? Do I Change Or Does God do the Transformation? I really don’t know anymore, I can’t talk to friends cause they dealing with their own Issues, can’t talk to my Parents, cause they too have their own problems. The church I go to have their own events to plan & other lives to save & counsel. Did God bring me to this place where Im standing alone? At the point where I don’t want people to know Im on life support but at the same time screaming for help.

Dealing with so much hurt, searching for love in the wrong people who end up rejecting me, I end up thinking about my ex who’s moved on, the devil keeps reminding me about her (things ended bad between us). My emotions are all over the place and my heart just doesn’t seem to be moved about whats happening in me & around me. What do you call that?

I need to know where to go from here. How to retrace my steps. How do I go about getting healing for my brokeness, recovering my relationship with God. I’ll accept anything God has to offer me, no matter how small it may be. I just wanna get out of this!!!

I’m really Stuck…

7 Comments

  1. Lady Esther 10/6/2012
  2. Shelly 10/10/2012
  3. K_Miranda20 11/7/2012
  4. Greta 11/8/2012
  5. thami 11/14/2012
  6. nico 11/27/2012
  7. thami 12/11/2012

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