For a long time, I had been praying for God to bless me with a woman that loved me as much as I loved her, to support and respect me, who was beautiful both inner and outer, but above all to genuinely love me. Well needless to say he blessed me with everything I had prayed for and brought her into my life. Now I was not a godly person when he brought her into my life. I was a sinful individual a backslider; however, through her I got saved and became closer to God.
We were together for a year and a half when one day she was broken and crying and told me that a family friend prophet had gone over to her house and prayed over her and suddenly told her that she was not in a godly relationship and that it was imperative for her to make a promise that night to break off the relationship. So needless to say, she did… This was in December; she did not go to work for a couple of days because she was so broken over what she had to do.
We did not speak for a couple of weeks, but then came back into each other’s lives for a while; however, she was broken between loving me and making the promise that she made to God that one day she told me that she had to do what she had to do. It has been several weeks that I have not spoken to her and it’s tearing me in two. I know that I don’t understand God’s will in my life, but why would he feel that I was not good enough for her? I don’t get it?
I have never been loved by a woman the way she loved me. She was the best thing that has ever happened to me, doesn’t he want the best for me? I’m just so confused… There are times when I want to be upset at God, but I realize that his ways are not our ways and that I can’t see the big picture like he can, therefore I don’t understand.
But this hurts so much. I pray for her well-being every day and I pray for God not to let her forget about me or not to let the love she has for me in her heart to fade away. I just don’t understand why I’m not good enough in God’s eyes for her. Can someone please help me understand this? Not only has this broken my heart and soul, but also has me questioning myself.