Hi, I would just like to ask for prayer please. I don’t know how to explain this very well. I desperately want to go to church and belong in church… because I feel that is being obedient to the Lord, and also, I just want to go. He is more important and more precious to me than anything else in my life.
I’m afraid that if I don’t go that I might drift away from Him or be deceived away from Him – I couldn’t bear that to happen. I’m afraid too that it would be disobedient not to go, because He says clearly in His Word that we should not “neglect the assembling together of the believers”.
I really want to go to church and have gone my whole life (even before I got to really know the Lord and was saved when I was 20). The only times I’ve not gone have been when I was really sick, travelling away where there was no church, or a few times in the past year when I just couldn’t face it anymore.
I’m in my mid-thirties now. I’ve tried to keep going even though I feel like crying every week and often so upset after it that it takes a few days to get over. The problem is I don’t know how I can endure it anymore. Please pray for me for healing, deliverance, guidance in this matter. I’m so upset about it now, that I’m not hearing clearly from the Lord about it.
Tomorrow it’s Sunday again and I’m in tears. I dread it every week. My problem is I’m afraid of people. I can’t relax and trust anyone. I feel crushed when I’m in Church where everyone seems to know everyone else and has friends and as usual, I’m on my own. I’ve alienated everyone because if they do speak to me, I’m so afraid I come across weird. Or else I work up a load of energy to hide my fear and act friendly (I believe I am a friendly person underneath it all if it wasn’t for this fear). The problem is I can’t sustain the concentration it takes to act against how I’m feeling, sooner or later it comes out and people think I’m strange. (I don’t just have this problem in church it affects every relationship in my life – so I don’t really have many relationships).
The thing with church is the expectation you’re supposed to belong, and I definitely don’t even though I have tried so hard over the years. I long to have some Christian friends. I feel so alone in my faith. I have some friends in work – which is a miracle in itself and a blessing from God. But they are not Christians, so our friendship only goes so far. There’s a lot we don’t have in common. I often feel I could die with loneliness.
I feel such pain over it I feel like hitting my head against a wall. The week before last the pain and fear I felt about going to church again led me to throw up and I felt a terrible feeling of anxiety way beyond the normal. The only way I could calm down was not to go back last Sunday.
Is it really bad not to go to church? Please pray for me.
I know how you are feeling, fortunately I go to church with my cousins so I don’t feel so afraid. Go to bible study groups and you will learn to know the people and it will get better. Just go and trust in the Lord for strength, if you don’t go you might regret it trust me I did when I stopped going a few years back. Trust Jesus and don’t think of any negative things that will break down your faith, God is almighty and you can accomplish anything threw him.
My dearest friend in Christ, let me share my experience with you.
I belong to a hindu family and at the moment I am the only Bornagain in my generation, the day I received Christ in 2010 as my Lord and Savior I had an urge to go to church to worship but i had many restrictions from my family, i was heartbroken.
I said Lord how am i going to grow my fellowship with you if i dont go to Church and the Lord said, Peace be with you, you are my living Church, you are my temple, worship me in truth and spirit.
So 2 months I kept seeking the Lord in my room asking him to fill me with his HolySpirit because a person is bornagain only when he is filled with the HolySpirit that Christ freely gives to all whoever asks, one day I was so weary and exhausted that I felt like giving up on my faith but the Lord is faithful, that very night be baptized me with His HolySpirit in my bedroom in the evening time and it was tremendously powerful for me, i cried and cried and His PURE PEACE took control over me, 1st december 2010, i can never forget that day.
Its been 2 yrs in my walk with Christ filled with the Power of HolySpirit, i never went to church to maintain peace in my house for the bible says blessed are the peacemakers, the HolySpirit is our Teacher.
Now im totally changed, nothing by self efforts or church but only by the power of the HolySpirit.
My advice to you as a witness who went through the same problem is that…..always remain at peace with the Lord, make treaty with him, if you go to church and is not having peace in your heart about it, well its not gonna work at all coz where there is peace there is Lord, i know i can go to church in my future after marriage but for now as it wasnt in my hand to go to church doesnt mean i was away from Christ.
I worshiped him in truth and in spirit, so come on, lock yourself in your room, have privacy with Christ alone, talk to him as he is your friend your father, ask him to fill you with His HolySpirit thats all you need.
Lord has blessed me in my fellowship with Christ that in about a year time he blessed me with wonderful fellowship of nearly 30 to 40 Christ bornagains, ALL BY HIS GRACE NOTHING BY SELF EFFORTS and he also led me to a church last year, i still cant go thr but pastor is so loving and caring that he prays for me daily, what a blessing, only Lord give this to you all by His Grace.
Now the anointing has increased in my life so much that i get phone calls from people at distant places and i pray over them and the HolySpirit in me comforts me, teaches them guides them.
So my friend, know that it is the Christ you need first, seek him alone in privacy, im sharing my testimony with you led by the HolySpirit not for self boasting but to encourage you to seek Christ for His HolySpirit which should be your first aim as Christ believer, to Lord be the Glory forever.
Oh yes….I will also let you know….Lord has been so gracious upon me that he talks me to through dreams and visions and prophecies and they are all fulfilled at the right time, all for His Glory, no self efforts, and i never went to church but maintained proper healthy fellowship with Christ alone in my locked up room.
I just prayed over you and the HolySpirit Jesus gave me this verse for you please read:-
Ezekiel 36:25 to 30.
God bless you, Peace be with you, just submit to the Lord all your worries and His Peace will guide your heart, where there is peace there is God, there is no guilt no condemnation in Christ but forgiveness and blessings.
AsianJesusLover,
Regarding:
“because a person is bornagain only when he is filled with the HolySpirit”
Praise God for the filling of the Holy Spirit and yes we are commanded to be filled with the Holy Spirit – a gift beyond words.
I wanted to point to the salvation scriptures so people who may not have experienced the filling of the Holy Spirit yet will understand they are saved.
Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you’ll be saved.
If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that he is raised from the dead, you will be saved.
Etc
Thanks for sharing!
Hi joy,
Well don’t for sharing your struggle, god knows exactly where your at, and best of all he DOES have a way out of this, through jesus you can be totally set free of this fear.
It seems you may have a fear/anxiety disorder, (I myself have struggled with anxiety/panic attacks for 2 years now) I don’t have the answer to your questions, and nobody will, but I can tell you god will have the answers, I would talk to someone in your church who is mature in there faith, and explain everything to them, and start to pray about it with them, also I think it’s imperative that you cry out to god and ask him to show you what the root of this problem is, he will answer you, he loves you just as much now as he will when this is all sorted,
It really is a case of seeking him, and assign him what the root is, I’d also recommend getting along to ellel ministries, they have been fantastic for my healing, jesus is definitely in that ministry, and they run healing retreats, which allows you to deal with issues with people who are totally committed and totally trusted to help minister into your life through jesus.
In the mean time keep going to church, and please tell somebody in your church about this, god will show you who to talk to, tell him every detail about this issue, and cry out to him,
Ill say a prayer – ‘father I thank you for Joy, I thank you for her courage to share this struggle, and I thank you jesus that you have made a way out of this, I pray jesus you will answer her prayers, as she calls out to you, and you would make yourself known in a clear way, and I pray she would carry no guilt and condemnation from this situation, in jesus mighty name, amen’
Well done**
Dear Joy,
After reading your post , I feel you need to edify yourself with the Living Word of God. You need to seek out the promises of God regarding your situation and speak them out over and over again over yourself.Please do read my post :” Take your stance against the evil ones’ attack” and use this scripture.
Joy,when you are a saved believer, you ARE part of the true church of Christ. You ARE a member of the body of Christ. The physical attending, the building, the people all these do play a role, but more than this, it is the Holy Spirit which unites us.The actual meaning of 1Corinthians 12:27 is “But you are the body of The Messiah and members in your places.”(The Aramic Bible in Plain English) IN YOUR PLACES. Once you have given yourself to Christ you are under His authority and stand as He makes you to.
There are millions of Christians, as me, who are unable to go for fellowship, yet live a victorious Christian life because we know in the Spirit we are one with the body of Christ.Anything that tells you you are at fault, is NOT FROM JESUS. He is the author of peace not of confusion. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.2Timothy 1:7
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;2 Corinthians 10:5
Be sure that you stand as obedient as possible to the Word, repented, baptized and saved. Then We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, NO MATTER who we are.Romans 3:22 Remember:For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–Ephesians2:8
This site will help you: http://achristian.wordpress.com/2006/07/24/jesus-righteousness-is-the-key-to-christian-overcoming/
JOY!Be filled with the JOY of the Spirit. Be sure of WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST!Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.James 4:7
Hallelujah!
I just wanted to add, that I am like you…:-)
I used to be anti social, shun gatherings. Still dont talk on the phone and have no friends as such.Have alot of love in my heart but not many words.(you may not believe it after this post!) But the Lord gave me a term “set apart to God” . google it.
May the Holy Spirit lead you 🙂
I loose the Light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ into your life. Amen.
YOU CAN’T PERCEIVE WITH YOUR NATURAL HUMAN MIND HOW MUCH THE GOD WHO CREATED ALLLL AND EVERYTHING LOVES YOU 🙂 …. HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO HATE TOWARD YOU…. NO MATTER WHAT DECISION YOU MAKE….I KNOW I SPELT A WORD WRONG BUT IT’S OK… LOL… STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOUR SELF THE KING LOVES YOU… Thats Why He Calls You His Own :).. And We’ve All Probably Been Through What You’re Going Through Just Know…. That It Too Shall Pass..And Try Reading Psalms 27 Out Loud When You Get Anxious That Again
Joy, your name is synonymous with what your gift is, a carrier of the Joy. Jesus Christ died for people (us) believers and non believers to receive that joy. Jesus is a great encourager, in His word it says “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Joy reminds me of a song from my childhood –♪♫♪ I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart … ♪♫♫. Once that song gets into your heart you will be singing it all day! True joy can only be attained as part of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22). It is that overwhelming sense of comfort and contentment that floods one’s soul. It is the thing that we have when we are walking with the Holy Spirit and mortifying the deeds of the flesh (Rom 8:13 KJV). True Joy comes only when we are focused upon walking with the Lord and esteeming others (Phil 2:3-5 KJV). Since Joy is fruit of the Spirit it is a special gift that only the believer has (Eph 1:12-14; 4:30).
Here are twenty uplifting Scripture quotes about joy.
Deuteronomy 16:15 For seven days you shall keep the feast to the LORD your God at the place that the LORD will choose, because the LORD your God will bless you in all your produce and in all the work of your hands, so that you will be altogether joyful.
Nehemiah 8:10 Then he said to them, “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.â€
Esther 8:17 And in every province and in every city, wherever the king’s command and his edict reached, there was gladness and joy among the Jews, a feast and a holiday. And many from the peoples of the country declared themselves Jews, for fear of the Jews had fallen on them
Isaiah 9:3 You have multiplied the nation; you have increased its joy; they rejoice before you as with joy at the harvest, as they are glad when they divide the spoil.
Joy in Others
1 Samuel 18:6 As they were coming home, when David returned from striking down the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments.
Luke 15:7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. (Jesus speaking in the parable of the lost sheep)
John 16:21 When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.
Philippians 1:3-5 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.
Philemon 1:7 For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.
Hope and Joy
Proverbs 10:28 The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
1 Thessalonians 2:17-20 But since we were torn away from you, brothers, for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face, because we wanted to come to you—I, Paul, again and again—but Satan hindered us. For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? For you are our glory and joy.
1 Peter 1:8-9 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
2 John 1:12 Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete.
I would ask you to strongly considering a prayer that breaks the chains of bondage off of you, its a fear bondage to keep you back. Jesus promised us that He would never leave us nor forsake us, (Duet 31:8) read the whole thing.
Christians have an adversary who attacks us on our weak spots, but we have a victor, Jesus who has given us all strength, all things, all power in Him to overcome the world , the enemy of us, the adversary and all his limited power. We in Jesus Christ are limitless in Power, the devil is limited.
I encourage you to print these scriptures off, place them around your house, sing with a “Joy”full shout to the Lord and walk boldly like a lion from the tribe of Judah into your local body, gathering in Jesus name and watch as the strength of God surpasses your personal feelings and manifests a victorious Sunday morning. Church is the gathering, the encouraging, the edifying, the sharpening, the teaching, the burden carrying place each member of the body should go to strengthen themselves for the challenge this world has at hand.
Be encouraged! May God reveal the truth to you and may you forever be free from the bondage of fear by the power of the risen lamb of God, Jesus Christ!
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
Thank you so much for all your comments. I am really touched and grateful that you took time to answer and pray.
AsianJesusLover thank you for the reassurance that not going to church will not mean going away from Christ… And Chris, that the Lord has only love not hate towards me no matter what decision I make..
AsianJesusLover, your testimony was so encouraging, and true of course… The Lord is not limited by our human circumstances. I heaved a sigh of relief reading it.
You mentioned the verse in Ezekiel. I often pray just that prayer to the Lord, that He will make me clean. I know this is a spiritual issue. I often thank Him that I am being made clean by His Word.
It took 10 years to work up the courage, but I have spoken to several people at different times about this issue (not speaking lightly, but following much prayer, and trepidation about talking to someone). Unfortunately it wasn’t helpful in any way. One lady (head of a healing ministry) told me I would never be healed of this problem and never mentioned prayer. Another person prayed, but when I wasn’t healed immediately said I should go to psychology, and also that she was surprised I had ever been baptised in the Holy Spirit. I won’t write every experience, the majority of them hurtful, just to say I don’t regret asking for help because I wouldn’t have found out there is actually no human help for this problem. (Also I have attending counselling, read and studied many psychology and Christian books on healing, I even happened to attend a psychiatry module when I was in college given by a leading and respected psychiatrist who by coincidence mentioned this very problem and said she dreads seeing someone with my problem coming through her door because she knows there is nothing she can do to help (she didn’t know I was sitting in her audience with this very issue!)). This all doesn’t discourage me, it has caused me to see clearly that the Lord is the only one who can help. And that is comforting and reassuring because He is a reality in my life and a warm comfort and help. I know this problem inside and out. I’m familiar with its ‘roots’. Doesn’t mean I am able to solve it. But when I focus on the Lord and enjoy His company, all this fades away and doesn’t matter. Of course I’m human too :0) when I am in the presence of other people I can’t connect with the Lord I am so crushed and afraid.
Cheeryleesa you are so right about relying on the Word of God, speaking it out, edifying myself in it. God is great, what a privilege we have His Word. I thank Him for the ability to read His Word. The devil is trying to steal away people’s trust in the Word of God in lots of devious ways these days. I have printed out your testimony re “Taking your stance..” and also the sermon you recommended re our righteousness in Christ. I plan to study this. Can you pray for me as I do this. I often pore over the Word of God and promises that I previously could grasp turn ‘invisible’ to me… I re-read and re-read promises, I can see intellectually how great they are, just what I need, but they slip through my fingers.. even though I meditate on them, pray about them etc. This again is a spiritual issue. But in the past year and a half there has been a breakthrough and I can continue to hold onto some promises. The same with knowing my identity in Christ. I desperately need to know this. I’m not kidding, have studied exactly this for over five years, but feel I am blocked from grasping it.
Rory thanks for taking the time to write down all those scriptures re Joy. “Joy” is the name the Lord gave me and I always see it as a ‘promise’ in a name!
Will follow your suggestion and hang them up around the house! I’m blessed to be able to praise the Lord in my home with my guitar and singing. It is a great pleasure to me to praise the Lord. He is truly GREAT :0)
Last week, a while after posting I felt such peace I am sure the administrator on this site prayed for me! Thanks if that is true :0) The next day was Sunday and because of that peace I was able to go to church. I prayed the Lord would do something completely different from normal and good! And what happened was that three buses passed me at the bus-stop and didn’t stop!!! The drivers all saw me, made eye-contact and shrugged their shoulders as if they couldn’t stop!!! This has never happened before. So I didn’t make it to church. But came home, praised the Lord singing with my guitar and listened to an online sermon. I had a really good Sunday because I wasn’t upset as usual after the church experience. I was able to visit my Granny and comfort her in the Lord.
AsianJesusLover, your writing reminded me of something I felt the Lord was saying to me a couple of weeks ago, but I was not 100% accepting as I was afraid it could also be wishful thinking on my part rather than hearing from the Lord… It was from Mark 7;33 where Jesus took the blind man away from the crowd and healed him.. I felt the Lord was saying He was taking me away from the crowd of church and healing me in the secret place.
This week I feel the Lord saying “Seek me”. I haven’t an answer re church, other than that I will do all I can to keep going. But I am less concerned about having an answer to that question.. I just want to seek the Lord, spend time with Him, dwell in His Word.. delight myself in the Lord. Everthing else fades away.
I love you brothers & sisters :0)
God bless,
Joy
Joy,
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. :Romans8:1,2
Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died–more than that, who was raised to life–is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.:Romans 8:34
Cheeryleesa, thanks I needed to hear that.
Hi Joy. Right before I found your writing I was reading about absolute surrender. God isn’t just love He is Love ; what we humans don’t grasp with our mind.I once was told to leave a church because the new pastor first had thought I was drunk (my MEDS made me slur) then he said I wasn’t spiritual/holy enough for his church. It isn’t mans church. On Sundays I sometimes would love to go to this great church but I am white they arent. This pastor said I didn’t belong there. God is a Spirit and true believers are not to look at outward appearance. Sadly today love as well as Jesus isn’t always invited in.Not to be able to attend church and not looking to people may bring you to a place so intimate with God ( your Father) He will not just show you but as I read we become brand new creatures never before. As He is the potter making us to become what He already knows we are.God already knew you before the foundation of the earth and He already knew what you’d experience. I think at times our Spirit is warning us of things but we’ve not yet learned to hear Him speaking.Surrender yourself and God will direct your path.
You are my sister in Jesus I truly love you and since my middle name is Joyce I will keep you close. Feel free to write. LinnieTea
Dear Joy
Your testimony comforting to me because I have the same problem. I have a problem of being very shy so it isn’t easy for me to make friends. Many times there are opportunities to give testimonies during church service, but I miss those opportunities because of fear and shyness. For a while I thought of starting my own website where I could freely give testimonies(even daily if I want to), then as I was Googling I found this website(I thank God for that). Sometimes I think of being active at the church that I attend but then the fear creeps in.
Your testimony has really encouraged me and I have decided that I will seek God more. I will spend more time in His presence. I am born again and baptised and spirit filled, so it does not make sense why I should live in fear. I have the Spirit of God living in me, therefore I cannot live in bondage. May God be with you and strengthen you through this journey of seeking freedom.
Dear LinnieTea and Flavia,
Thanks so much for your comments. I pray this prayer for you both that you would know more and more the pleasure and delight of intimacy with the Lord, who loves you more than you can imagine. He is always faithful, what a comfort to remember that! He has…
… chosen us and not rejected us (Isaiah 41;9)
… chosen us (had us in mind and picked us out) before the creation of the world to be His (Ephesians 1;4)
… chosen us, so who can bring any charge against us? (Romans 8;33)