Never Give Up Hope

A testimony in my life that proves that the Almighty never leaves us or forsakes us. I would just like to share these powerful thoughts with you that Christ shared with me. The day of judgment may come tomorrow, but Christ is here today. Not to just provide us with our daily needs, but pour his Holy Spirit upon us. To continually help us grow form sinners to warriors, beggars to philanthropists, babes to men, cheaters to healers and liars to prophets. God does not expect us to be stagnant. He did not offer us his Salvation to watch us not prosper in his Spirit. I’m not just talking about prospering financially! In his Spirit, we are able to do all things according to his will in our life. That’s the true prosperity being delivered.

The lord needs Warriors in Christ. Who will dare to step out and put the full armor of Christ on? Who would follow the words of the Prophet Samuel if he told you today you would be King of Israel? Would you be like David and walk out in pure faith and face a 9′ tall behemoth with a slingshot, knowing God always secures your victory when you are with Him, and He is with you?

Or will you be like Saul and stay hidden behind the equipment when god has chosen you to lead? Don’t get me wrong, there is so much more to the lives of Saul and David, but in there days before becoming kings, there was a stark contrast of when they were faced with powerful decisions to make. For me, I would face Goliath with my slingshot. I did, and delivered my family back into the hands of the Almighty. The Word of God strikes true every time. No ifs, ands or buts!!!!

This is my testimony. My name is Anthony Torres. My beautiful wife’s name is Michelle. My two children are Ezekiel, who is 10, and my daughter is Moriah, 9 years old. (she is named after Mount Moriah).Today we are a strong family in Christ. My kids need to come to know Christ, but my wife and I, we are truly one flesh. It has not always been that way though.

I was not a very good husband. This is not difficult for me to say. It is the truth. I consistently lied to her, spent money when I should have paid bills. I treated my friends better than her. I never physically abused my wife. But the emotional damage of being lied to by someone that supposedly loves you has devastating effects. I lied about so many things. Just feared the truth. So I lied. Period.

I am not just talking a about a few times this happened, I am talking years. I was Saved. I learned so much about the bible and Christ. There was several times that the Holy Spirit chastised me and I would turn from my evil ways and HE would pour His Spirit on me. But it never lasted long. My free will always took over and I went back to my old ways.

We were married in December of 1994. I will fast forward to November 2004. We were close to divorce, so we decided to seek some professional advice to see what if anything we could do to change this behavior. Instead of bringing it to the Lord, I chose to see a psychiatrist. The worst decision in my life. But my intentions were pure. I wanted to save my marriage. So I went. He asked me about 10 questions and decided I WAS Bi-Polar. Huh?

But the devil made it sound so convincing, that the symptoms sounded like my behavior. He told me if I took these medications I would feel amazingly different. Well, to shorten this testimony a bit, over the next 3 and a half years they gave me over 20 different anti-psychotics, Benzo’s, sleeping pills, pain pills, and drugs that could easily kill an elephant. My memory of the last 3 and a half years has been wiped away. I don’t remember much. Only a few things here and there. Apparently, it did little to change my behavior. But besides that, it robbed me of my confidence, self-worth, health, business, job, seeing my kids grow up and finally, my marriage.

In august 2006, my wife told me she wanted a divorce, she could no longer do it. God bless her, she never gave up until that point. I don’t remember her telling me. The drugs had completely altered my brain and life. I could no longer feel anything. I was a zombie. Comatose. The walking dead.

In November 2006, she moved out, but I had no place to live, our lease was up. She allowed me to move in with her. She was still going through with the divorce.

Then, things took a turn for the worst on March 16th 2007, I threatened my wife and her brother. I have absolutely no memory of this happening. I do remember the police showing up with a temporary restraining order. They asked me to leave. They took me to a hotel for a few days that my wife had paid for.

I had finally hit rock bottom But how did this happen? I had never, ever threatened my wife or kids. Its something that never crossed my mind. I love my family. I knew god, I’m quite intelligent, analytical, a leader with courage, a good father. What had happened to me?

On the third day of being in the hotel, it happened. It was like this happened yesterday. I was completely drugged on meds when the lord appeared to me. At that moment, all the medication in me was drawn from my body. Holy Spirit Style!!!!! Then the lord looked straight at me and said,

“Have you had enough?”

He didn’t say it in a way to chastise me, but with his arms opened wide, like a fathers. I was FREE! Amazing Grace was poured upon me. Peace was back. I got up, and swore my life to Him, and have no longer touched a pill since.

The Lord and I spoke. I realized that I wasn’t Bi-Polar. Never was. I just fell prey to the subtle ways of the devil and my free will. I never had 1 day of withdrawals. All in one fell swoop of the Lord, here’s some of what he did for me that night. All the glory goes to Jesus. Its nothing I did:

1. He saved me from certain death from the medications that night.

2. Set me Free

3. Poured a Double portion of the Holy Spirit on me.

4. Restored my faith

5. Restored my confidence

6. Restored my Love for him

7. Restored my compassion and love for people.

8. No longer do I lie. The truth set me free

9. My warrior feelings restored

10. Everlasting peace

11. Wisdom

12. Knowledge

13. The list goes on and on and on.

So much in just one night. I knew what I had to do.

I had lost everything. My wife, kids, business, job, no money or food, no place to live, my connection to god was restored though.

All the worldly things gone. EVERYTHING!! Now, God had something to work with. Praise God. This is not a question of why it happened, but Glory to God that he gets all the credit and praise for all He did for me this night.

I knew I had to start somewhere. I wanted my wife back. Only Jesus could do that. So, that’s where he started. At first, I was going to give her the divorce uncontested, but again the lord appeared and said “I made Michelle and you one, let no man separate you.” I decided to tell her I changed my mind and refused to give her the divorce. According to the will of God.

Well, needless to say, I believed God would change Michelle’s mind, and BAM!! It took a little while, but here is what he did in less than 2 months:

1. She dropped the T.R.O

2. I moved back in.

3. He restored our marriage to a place that I wish all could feel.

4. My kids are doing well in school again.

5. We have confessed to Him we would mold our lives according to his will. Together.

6. She has her wedding ring back on.

God is the Great Healer. In all things. I know you will agree. I want to begin to tell people of the powerful testimony God has done in our lives. I have only told 2 people so far, but now its time. There is so much more to this testimony that I have begun a book about it.

The struggles of marriage, losing hope, getting hope back, restoration, peace, improvement, and especially the Angels that God has put charge over us. (Psalm 91). God’s Amazing Grace. Never lose Hope or Faith, no matter how bad the situation may appear, keep praying and praise and worship. The devil will always make it look 10 times worse.

I am 39 now, but this I believe,

“My last chapters will be my best.”

“My final song will be my greatest.”

I have truly learned that it is better to spend one day in the footsteps of Christ and all that will occur following him, than one day without him in a this world alone. I made some bad decisions in this life, but Jesus never left me. Like I said before, there is a whole lot more to this testimony, vivid details of Him coming to me, my divine healing, and my wife turning back to me. Michele’s testimony through all this is so powerful also.

When I was saved back in 1995, I thrust myself into learning the word of God. A Baptist pastor dedicated 2 years with me and 3 nights a week to teach me so much about the bible. I learned so many truths. But still thought I could do certain things on my own. Man was I wrong.

I will say this today” I am in a place of everlasting peace. I wish all could feel what I feel. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my faults, but don’t we all. I just continually allow Jesus to show me them on a daily basis and try to change them.

10 Comments

  1. Martina 7/13/2007
  2. Jamie 7/15/2007
  3. Marilyn 8/7/2007
  4. Brittinay 8/9/2007
  5. Henry 1/14/2008
  6. jexe 3/11/2008
  7. KT 5/3/2008
  8. Airborne 4/21/2009
  9. MAR 9/3/2009
  10. Arun 4/1/2011

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