Hey, I have become a Christian a year and a half ago and it has been a bumpy, fun and amazing journey. When I first became a Christian, I found the transition difficult but very worthwhile. My family and friends are not Christian they do not understand it and question me why I go to church, I found and still do find this challenging.
However, I am attending church and volunteer with a Christian Organisation which I love the people are great and I have met really great friends there. At first when praying I could feel The Lords presence around me as I prayed it was amazing.
I did feel it hard breaking away from non-believers and felt I was always being tempted from my past ways. Going out drinking, taking drugs but now I have been saved this has all stopped due to the Lord’s unfailing love for me. I know he loves me, and he does continually guide me through good and bad times.
Although a year ago, I was tempted and gave into temptation and slept with a man and had unprotected sex. I feel filled with guilt, shame, and I live with the constant reminder of what I have done. I pray for forgiveness, but I just do not feel fully forgiven.
Now I fear I may have put myself at risk of HIV due to the unprotected sex I had. I am utterly terrified, of getting checked. I have told no one, and fear of being judged. I feel I’ve let myself and God down. I just want to be ok, forgiven and loved. I mean I know the Lord is working on my case, he has given me great opportunities since I have been saved although I fear he will not heal me as I was a Christian when I gave into temptation. I’ am filled with worry, despair and need advice from great strong Christians.
I just long for reassurance, and do not want to face being checked in case the Lord does not heal me. I would feel so ashamed to be tested and fear the ultimate worse every day. Although I feel I must be checked just to give my body rest as I feel I am getting anxiety through all the worry.
Oh how we beat ourselves up over past mistakes. If we ask forgiveness then rest assured that we have been forgiven. I would tell you like Jesus has told others,…now go and sin no more. The danger is that sadly we do reap what we sow.
If we sow to please the flesh we reap corruption and if we sow to please the Spirit we reap everlasting life. That doesnt mean that you have HIV, it just means dont do that anymore so that you wont catch that or something else. Go get checked and put your mind at ease and more than anything else trust Jesus that he has forgiven you because he has if you have confessed your sin and not tried to cover it up. To repent means to stop and turn around and go a different direction. So do not put yourself into situtaions where you will find it hard to say no.
I feel your pain and I dont say that in humor, i’ve fallen pray to the same trap in my past. Now I do not put myself in compromising situtaions and I try and put God first in everything. I love to listen to testimonies of Heaven and Hell ( much more Heaven than Hell ) but listening to the hell ones and what has taken those people to that end is very helpful so that, I want to avoid that place at all cost so I listen to what to avoid and I trust Jesus and try to follow him with my whole heart.
Be of good cheer :0)
spiritlessons.com is a good site and insightsofgod is another good sight.
God Bless
Arky188
Just trust in Him. He has already forgiven you. Just pray and put it all in His hands. And after you pray, stop worrying. If you’re going to pray, no need to worry, and if you’re going to worry, no need to pray. Show God just how much faith you have in Him, no matter the good or bad, just trust Him. He will never do or let something happen that is against His will. Just trust Him. I can’t stress that enough.
You dont need to beat yourself up, Because God states that once we ask for forgiveness, we will receive it and are sincere to him. If you have repented, then leave your burdens at his footstool for him to restore you. Yes, it is only human of us to still remember the mistakes we make in our lives, don’t beat yourself up for this..just ask the Lord for strength to resist future temptation. God says he loves us regardless of our sins, he loves the sinners but hate the sin.If you look back in the bible we see that God forgave David, Moses,Peter, Paul, Samson and many others who fell in to sin. Health wise you should definitely get tested to see what is taking place in your body. sometimes in life our mistakes let us gets wiser as we leave from them. I am praying that you will feel the presence of the Lord in your life again, after all he says that he will never leave us nor forsake. I don’t know you but I want to say that i love you and God loves and cares for you. keep the faith
HI,
PRAISE THE LORD!
Dont worry, Our Lord never lets us down in front of others.
Put on fasting prayer 1 times a day for 7 or 14 days depends and sit in prayer 2-3 hrs a day,
(1) reading bible,
(2) giving thanks prayer – atleast 1000 thanks,
(3) hearing songs etc.,
Commit to God that you will give him a special offering also.
After doing then go for medical checkup.
Take care, God is with you, trust him. Put God to a corner thro’ all ways of prayer, fall on his feet for forgiveness and go to medical.
God Bless you, Amen
Isaiah 43:25 says, “I-yes, I alone- am the one who blots out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again”. 1 John 1:9 says, “but if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong”.
These scriptures declare that God has literally removed from His own memory our old life of sin. Don’t let lingering feelings of guilt tell you otherwise. Satan is called the “accuser” and he will use guilt to hinder your life.
Isaiah 1:18 says, “‘come now, let us argue this out’, says the Lord. ‘No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool'”. This is an amazing truth! God is so good to cleanse us from our sins when we ask Him. Be encouraged and know God loves you.
Blessings,
Keegan
One of the main things Satan loves to do is cast doubts in us. That GOD has given up on us and that we’re not worthy of GODs love. Remember Jesus will pick you up everytime you fall. It’s easy to lose focus of this if your not ready for it. We gotta be ready for attacks at anytime. My main problem is I don’t meditate on the word a lot n leave myself open to attacks then I entertain the negativity thoughts n then before I know it I’m confused n doubting n possible depression. I went thur a rough week last week but I’m back thanks to Jesus sending me help. Praise be his name forever n ever amen and amen..