Hello there brothers and sisters! I have never shared my testimony but feel that this is the place where I should do it. Since I was a small child I had always been a very fearful child, I would be playing in the play ground and burst into tears and then had episodes of anxiety and depression. I would always stick to my mom always thinking what ifs…then my mother shared with me as I grew older that even when she was pregnant with me she took on my characteristics and knew how I felt. School was my only escape because I loved learning and as the years went by I never thought of anything that had happened.
Then one night 4 days after my 18th birthday I had my first panic attack. See this horrible ailment runs in my family my dad has taken medication for it for about 30 years right about the time my mom gave birth to me. After this I had 3 other major episodes followed by depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. In every single one Jesus would heal me but I would go the worldly ways.
I became very lustful and practiced sexual immorality and still called myself a Christian. Sexual Immorality is the worst as the apostle Paul says in all other sin, we practice outside the body, but sexual immorality is practiced with the temple of the Holy Spirit. You see sometimes in our families there are chains that bind us. In the bible God says that those who do not accept him will experience his wrath for up to 5 generations but the great news is that if you accept him he promises blessings for up to 1000 generations.
The last time I was severely depressed, which was July of 2011, the LORD showed me so much. Even after being a wishy-washy Christian the LORD showed me how my past family has always been so sexually immoral. In being depressed I felt alone because I had been through 4 major depressions in the lapse of 6 years followed with anxiety and fear.
But I thank the LORD because he gave me a gift I didn’t deserve, his unending and unfailing love and forgiveness. In the beginning it was hard for me to share my testimony but now I know that the LORD through his son Jesus does miracles. The LORD has taken me further that I deserve or saw myself.
For the people who are reading this even though the enemy lies to you saying God isn’t there pray out loud! recite scriptures from the bible with your mouth. Don’t overthink faith let God be the judge of that. Go to church, always thank him for the things people take for granted like loving others, eating, being able to sleep seeing the beautiful sun, being able to read, to testify, to sing.
When in my former depression I was unable to eat, sleep was hard sometimes, love was difficult to feel, singing became non-existent. Always look for the greater things in life like his son Jesus, family, flowers, your eyesight, enjoying food, singing, these are things that only God has given you and can give you.
Another thing I recommend is praising him day and night, go to church, and worship music is the best, regardless of what you think at the end God Jesus is the truth. One day I was in complete fear when the LORD touched my body and told me get up and fight pray out loud and worship my name I did this for about an hour.
After a week of extreme fear, the LORD made me feel I had to attend an all-night church event, I worshiped and prayed the whole way there. God told me I will give you something. Barely being able to get up because at this point I had not eaten for about 3 weeks I went to church and barely praying God Holy Spirit touched me and I fell to the floor and for two days I felt his presence heavenly.
Then one night after this event I knew God’s Holy Spirit wanted to baptize me in tongues, but I was afraid then one night I told the Holy Spirit I am not afraid anymore and immediately I was speaking in a heavenly language for about two hours and then I ended with a heavenly song. Every day I would do this up until now.
It is a great gift, people do not listen to people who say tongues are of the devil, why would he need tongues if he understands all languages. I feel a closer connection praying to God everyday and I glorify the name of Jesus and I no longer have that hopeless depression and this Monday Jesus came in my sleep and told me daughter you are healed it is time to work.
Now I started as part of a worship team and feel like a completely different person. I no longer have long fights with my family and boyfriend and know that I have a purpose here on Earth and that I am no accident in this universe and so are you. My goal is to intercede for the saints if you need prayer let me know and I will add you to my list and agree with you in the name of Jesus. We are in a battlefield, and we will not rest until we go home. We Christians have to stick together the LORD is not that far away.
He is also working to renew my family and even my brother had a vision about the rapture. Christians who believe in the resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the Holy and Divine Trinity must stand together and not let small legalistic issues make them critical about one another. Instead of us criticizing a falling brother pray pray pray for them, pray for pastors, evangelist, families, and for the justice of God to prevail. Love you all in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior and owe everything to him today.