My Testimony: Before, During and After

My life before becoming a Christian:

When I was a little girl, my grandmother took me to church every Sunday.  Although I went to church but for the most part I usually just slept on my grandmother’s laps.  Until the time I grew up and continued to go to church, all I really knew was that I’m Baptist but nothing else.  I didn’t understand why my grandmother took me there, I didn’t know who Christ was, didn’t even know how I came into being.

Going to church was just a routine for me.  I just tag alongside with my grandmother and family.  Church didn’t have any effect on me at all.  The worst reality was that even when I grew up to be a teen I still just a church goer.

I received a baptism but didn’t know the purpose of it.  I still just lived my live doing what I believed that would make me happy.  I was selfish and just want to live and to enjoy life as much as I can.  I even remember there was an incident that happened long ago, when I saw someone who was so devoted to their belief; I literacy said to myself, I would never be that kind of person.  All I really think about was that I did my part already by going to church and worshiping with others believers.  I thought to myself only a heretic would go so far in their belief.

Before I knew Christ my life was a mess and inadequate.  I don’t even know if I’m able to describe how I felt back then.  Within my heart I always felt like I’m missing something.  I usually would try to search for happiness through hanging out with friends and doing entertainment like watching movie all day long to make me happy.  I used to hold grudges against people if they treat me wrong.

In my own theory if someone is mean to me, then I have every right to treat them the way they treat me.  When it comes to friends, I used to look out for friends that would bring me benefits.  I like the kind of friendship that I would get a benefit from without giving out my part.  But on one special occasion my life changed.

When I encountered Christ:

When I came to know Christ Jesus, I considered it was a life changing experience for me.  It was at a Christian summer camp that I encountered Christ.  After worshiped with other believers and listened to different sermons at the camp, I knew right then that what I really needed was a Savior.

Finally I was able to understand that there is only one person that can fill the emptiness in my heart and that person is Christ.  Thank God that He has opened my heart so I could receive him.  Thank God that He has allowed me to know that my life would be meaningless without Him.

It was at that moment that I received Christ into my heart and knowing that I’m a sinner and I needed forgiveness.  I also knew at that time that without Christ my relationship with God the Father can’t be restored.  I even experienced the thought that can Christ really forgive me for everything I had done.  Can He really make me new again? All I can say is that the answer is YES, He can.

After knowing Christ: 

After receiving Christ into my life, He has changed me dramatically.  I wasn’t selfish as I use to be, I wasn’t as self-centered as I was.  Now my way of viewing other people are different as well.  I can see that rather than want more and more benefits for my own I want to give others the similar blessing that I received from Christ.  He has changed me to be become more considerate of other people’s needs.

What also amazes me after knowing Christ was that I was not only able to truly forgive people that had hurt me for instance, like emotionally.  Christ allowed me to know and understand that if my sins can be forgiven then I could also do the same for people who hurt me.  I found that the purpose of my life is not just to live for my own, but to live for Christ by serving and pleasing Him.

Now I find that helping people and being a blessing to others is what true happiness all about; I want to use my life as a channel of blessing for other people as well.  Of course, after knowing Christ Jesus doesn’t mean that I’m perfect.  To be quite honest there are still many areas in my life that I still need Christ’s help to change me.

For example, I always feel like I’m desperate for Christ to continue working in me to help me set my priorities straight.  I feel that there are times when just my emotions get control instead of Christ but thank God that He allows me to know the root of the problems so I can continue to depend on Him to teach and to guide me daily.