I was married in 1997. An Indian malayali girl raised in a modern family abroad and in India, Kerala too. I grew up with an abundance of love, lacking nothing and having two God fearing parents, whose innate goodness, even today, never fails to amaze me. The world has few such people now who will choose good even when faced with death.
From childhood onwards I had a very close relationship with God, the father. But I knew nothing of real salvation, and Jesus our Saviour. I had a prayer when I was a kid. I used to pray
“Lord, even kicking and screaming…please just drag me down the path you want me to go….”
Today I pray that with a lot more fear than then! I married at twenty-six years of age. Life changed drastically for me. Where I had been loved, trusted and cared for, I came to an atmosphere of hate, anger and neglect. Infertility completed the picture. I cannot elaborate on details as I wish to malign no one. All I can say is that every trap that Satan laid for me suddenly succeeded and I saw hell on earth. One thing I did do was stand up for Christ, to the point, I angered my husband’s family for bringing a priest to show them their wrong ways and how they were angering God.
My husband is a good man trying his best to do as he thinks right. I received Christ into my life around four years after our marriage. Even then those who tormented me continued to be my greatest terror and fear in my life.
In 2004, due to unavoidable circumstances, my husband and I decided to separate. As a couple we loved each other, but he was not able to help me in the battle I was involved in, his hands and loyalties were tied, and he could not compromise. I, on the other hand, could not take any more abuse, having lost my mental peace, my character, to the extent where my stability was compromised. I miscarried the baby I conceived after six years of marriage.
On meeting me, after we separated, he just told me to leave my parents and everything I knew and to come with him if I wished. At that point of life, I could not. After that, he never once contacted me or tried to help me. Since then, I have never been the same again as I love him, and I still cannot digest the fact that he didn’t choose me.
Anyway, readers, it was at this point of life that Jesus Christ came into my life. I was living alone, having sent my parents away, saying that I have to learn to live alone. Two months of my life, the Lord came with me and stayed close. I still was raw and didn’t know much about salvation and the victorious life. I would just randomly read the word and every single day there would be messages for me. I still have the pages of the diary in which without knowing I was claiming the word:
Those who look to him will never be ashamed, their faces will always be radiant. Psalm 34:5
He who is within me is stronger than the one who is in the world. 1 John 4;4
I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper and not harm you. Jeremiah 29:11
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Proverb 3:5,6
And so many many more.
But the most important verse for me which was and still is today my mainstay from the Word of God was Isaiah 54. This promise given to the coming Jerusalem is my promise as a daughter of God. I have seen it verse by verse come true in my life.
I didn’t know it but I was claiming the promises of Jehovah our God in the name of Jesus. During that time, God brought into my life mentors who showed me the true meaning of worship, of the Word of God. I was living, walking, breathing, talking Word of God, WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING what it meant! This is what the bible says, Ashes for beauty…Isaiah 61:3
From the hand of my enemy, I came to know the true God. All things happen for the good of those who love God. Romans 8:28
Finally, I decided to return back to what I felt was my battleground, back to my husband. I returned solely based on two verses from the Word…one: The battle is the Lords. I received this scripture repeatedly through the media, through TV, my prayer life, continuously for two days. Another was that: let no man separate that which God put together. I truly loved my husband and could not live without him.
Though this is a very edited version of the true story, one thing worth mentioning, to show the true deep mighty love of our Jehovah Father God is the following story. One day, I had returned from a shift and was lying in a stupor on the ground in my room. I was neither asleep nor awake in my grief. I could not bear it anymore and I was suffering greatly.
To add to my misery it was mid-summer, May in Mumbai where I lived. The heat seemed to increase as my gloom weighed heavily on me. To this day I don’t know how I said it but just as I was in the twilight of neither sleep nor wakefulness, I just prayed that
“Oh Lord, if he will return to me, please make it rain today.”
Then I was awake and dismayed. So small was my faith that I was devastated as if the lack of rain had ended it all for me. I had to return to my next shift, and I told a friend of my statement and she actually scolded me and told me not to test the Lord. But dear readers, that evening as I stepped out to go home, clouds had gathered and it RAINED, or rather drizzled in Mumbai! Yes, my God, for nondescript dust that I am, for ME he made it rain. the next day my friend told me she was watching the rain and thinking of me. Those who live in Mumbai will know how impossible it is to rain in summer.
On returning back to my husbands home, things were as bad as before but at least he made an attempt not to let me suffer. I would leave the house with him when he went for work and we would return together at night.
I cannot elaborate further except to say that after two months of this, something happened that most of the past ended. That which was troubling me constantly faded and we were able to live a much much better life. Slowly peace, prosperity and happiness increased. My prayer life increased. I came to know how to pray the Word, How to praise Him. My greatest tribulation then and even now remains that my husband and many family members are yet to know our Lord intimately. Please do pray for this, my dear readers as you read this.
In 2006, my mother, contracted leukemia. Contrary to what I had believed from the time I was a child, that I would die when my beloved amma died, the Lord was with me through every moment of her two month sickness. His anointing was heavy upon me. this was the time when I first received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Dear ones, I was yet to take water baptism!
One day in the hospital chapel, I was worshipping Him, having finally found it in me to submit my mother to Him. Suddenly, I felt immense heat radiating from the top of my head into my body to the tips of my toes. I, in my ignorance, looked all around for a hot air vent or heating!
Five days later, my mother passed away. I have great happiness in the fact that I saw her saved. She died with the name of Jesus on her lips. Contrary to my belief, I was solid rock, able to praise the Lord for her life and having her as my mother. I was unaware why I was so unperturbed and remember wondering how can this be, that I am so peaceful.
Only years later, I was alone, and I told the Holy Spirit that I wish to know Him more and receive Him more, then suddenly the scene of the Pentecost and the tongues of flame popped into my head. He told me ….remember? That was Me!!!
Oh the Wonders and miracles of the Lord for those who love Him! Praise Jesus, praise Holy Spirit. Praise my Mighty Jehovah in the Name of Christ Jesus!
In 2007, after getting an intimation from the Lord, I conceived. Ben Jacob Korah my elder son was born. Our life bloomed. Joel Thomas Korah followed exactly one and a half year later. I and my husband never even dreamt of medical intervention all these years. Hallelujah! Soon after Joel was born, I went, carrying him, for water baptism. I had always said I will go publicly and not hide but I was led by the Lord and I did!
I realised that baptism is for the believers and not for unbelievers. Let us not sow our pearls before pigs….My life has been victorious since then. Actually, knowing my family background, the people who took me for baptism were trying unknowingly to prevent me from doing it. But I was firm and I remember saying today I will go back only after being baptized in the name of the Lord.
My children are now four and a half and three years old now. They are the joy in our lives especially when all know how they have come to this world. I have a wonderful married life, I serve my household joyfully and my daily life is full of His miracles, His presence. I am truly the woman of Proverbs 31, so well provided for by Jehovah my husband.
I still have issues and problems, dear readers but life in the flesh is such. The thing is that despite all, a river of peace flows through us and we emerge victorious, more than conquerors in Him!
The only thing that I can say to you is , Just be sure to let Jesus know that you REALLY truly want Him as your king. You have to ASK him to come into your life and SUBMIT to him and then you will go on the ride of your life. God leads all in His sure ways, some when we are ninety and some when we are but children . We just have to ABC; admit that we are sinners, believe that He is Son of the Almighty God of Israel and Confess that He is Lord , He is Lord, He is LORD. Hallelujah!!
Before you leave me, please do say a prayer for the Salvation of my family, I beg you. Testimonyshare, thank you, thank you and God further prosper you. You give fellowship to those who do not have access to the true body of Christ. Amen