I have been going through a great depression for the past year and half. I recently spoke to God and said please expose the truth to me on this particular situation. I gave God until January 31st, 2014, to relieve me from my pain. I said Lord, if you relieve me, I promise to tell anyone willing to hear my story my testimony to uplift and glorify your name. So, before I received my response from God I already claimed my victory from him and started searching online with how to set a website or blog in order to tell people that prayer works.
I just so happened to run across this site, and as I promised my creator, I am going to glorify his name. My God is a faithful God. He loves us and I know he hears our cries. He gave my answer a whole month ahead of time, and on December 30, 2013, he enlightened me. Nobody but God, wow how amazing. He released me a whole month before my deadline I gave him.
Well to be brief here is my story. I dated a guy in high school, and it was perfect. He was my best friend, there was absolutely nothing wrong with our relationship. Then one day I broke up with him. The problem was not with him, the problem was me. We were very young like 18 or so. I knew in my heart that I needed to experience life, and so I did. I dated around had my feelings hurt, hurt a few feelings and so forth. I needed to go through all of this because I came from a hectic household.
I promised myself that I would be a virgin until marriage. But that didn’t happen, so I said you know what no I didn’t hold that promise, but I will promise to honor and uplift the institution of marriage someday. So, I became very picky. Picky because to me a marriage takes a lot of work, and most people are very quick to give up or end up marrying a person who God did not intend on them marrying because they were self-will seeking and not dependent on God and his will.
So finally, BAM one day the guy who I broke up with I realized he was actually the one for me. I now knew he cherished me, and I did the same towards him. All the while he and I were still friends.
He ended up getting into trouble hanging with wrong crowd, I knew my friend and it was simply a mistake I knew it wasn’t his life journey. He ended up going to prison for 7 years. I knew it instantly when he left that this is the man I love. I promised him and myself that I would stick by his side through this ordeal. I would be his shoulder to cry on if needed, I would be there however he needed.
Because that is what real friends do. He didn’t need me to do so, I did it because I care. He has a large family, and they were very supportive, so technically I could have bailed but I didn’t. I stood by his side through it all.
Oddly one day God put it on my heart to only do “just enough” so he knows that I care. I planned to go above and beyond but God said no and I’m glad I listened. It was great, I learned so much about my friend during these years and began to truly cherish him. I started leaving the mentality of “I” and started thinking more on “we”.
During this time, he felt the same way and I just knew that God kept me in this situation for a reason. It was difficult those years because life goes on for all of us, while it is a standstill for them. I was his rock, I was his shield, I was anything he needed if he would have asked. I spoke highly of him, I wouldn’t allow anyone to slander his name, I stayed true and loyal, I loved his family, I loved his flaws, he was my world.
Then he got out.
The day he was released I was like a little kid in a candy store. I was so happy, so delighted in his freedom. Glory to God, he got him through. Now let us reach present day. That release was a year and a half ago. He is doing well, has a job and finishing up school. He is my hero. Lol.
As soon as he got out a year and half ago, he pushed me away. All our plans went out the window. He moved on from me and very quickly at that. He pushed me so far away that he barely even spoke to me. He even would not allow me to be anywhere near he or his family. The words he said to me were
“I’ve moved on, you should too”.
I asked why, he responded with I guess I never got over you cheating on me and the fact I told him as soon as he left, I just knew right then I loved him. He claimed he is not sure I would love him had he went to prison. The year and half he and I maybe spent 5 or 6 times together. When I ask to have a special day just, he and I he basically tells me no.
I prayed through the release, because I just knew in my heart that this was not him. I walked in confidence with my Lord while he was in, and still walked in confidence while he was out. I knew God did not have us in each other’s lives for the heck of it, there is a reason. There were many times I wanted to back out because it was mentally draining, but I stood as his rock. There were many times during his release I wanted to say goodbye no way you will treat me as so. I kept praying and could not leave his side.
Now to my point, lol. In December 2013 I had a near mental breakdown. I said Lord I cannot take this any longer. This man is not doing me right, and I have been his rock. He wouldn’t even visit me when I thought my dad had lung cancer. He said he would, but he never showed up.
He has put this new woman and in my opinion in my shoes. So, I said God for 2014 I’m not enduring this any longer. I will not go through this. I have put you as my leader, I followed my heart as well as prayed to you during and after release. One point during the release I needed psych help because I think I was in a deep depression, and I certainly needed some drugs lol. But I said nope, Lord you are all I need, and I will pray.
So, I said Lord, you have until Jan 31 2014 to give me release from this situation, and I walked in confidence he would provide my release. And oh my, my Lord is a loving God. He answered my prayers. One day I simply asked my friend about him and the woman he was talking too, all along he said they were just friends, and he didn’t want a relationship. This time he told me, you know what we are together now. I was hurt. I felt God had betrayed me. I said Lord, if this was the answer why in the heck did I endure this? SMH.
I could have walked away a long time ago, I prayed not just one or two times. No, I prayed all those years and even after. Why would you betray me so bad Lord? I shouldn’t have said that, perhaps there is a reason unseen to me or my friend as to why I endured this pain and for so long.
But God was faithful and answered and I’m grateful. I’m not sure where to pick up the pieces now. That is a new battle I am discussing with God. I feel like he could have released me from the situation when my friend was dissing me after he was released. I kept praying, so why would he continue to allow me to go through this. But he will get me through my storm.
I promised God I would write my testimony, and here I am… The purpose is to help those that are not necessarily in the same situation as myself, but to help those wondering if prayer works. Yes, it does my friends. God is a loving God. He is all merciful, and he will answer your prayers according to his will and perfect timing. Glory to my wonderful God. May each of you be blessed.