Hello, my name is Jay.
This past Fall I was as excited as ever to start my 3rd year of community college. It was my last year there and I would be transferring to a university and become the first in my family to do so. Well, I was in for a treat. In the middle of the Fall semester I ended up dropping all my classes because my motivation for school was absolutely lost.
In January 2014 I quit my job because I could not take being miserable there anymore. I was confident God had a plan for me. So, back to school I went in the Spring and was super confirmed and excited again.
No job meant more time for school. This wasn’t a good thing. I got myself in a little debt, because quitting my job meant me not paying my bills. I wasn’t really worried about the debt; main worries were which university will accept me. That’s all I can think about
So here comes April 2014, the month I been waiting for since I graduated high school. After having a very bad year, the first domino fell, I was denied to UCSB. It really hurt reading that rejection letter, but I still had four more schools left. In the next two weeks I was denied to UCI and UCLA.
All of a sudden, my dreams were slipping by the minute. What I was happy about was that I was praying to God to pick the right school, so I was assuming he would narrow the school he wants for me by rejecting all and get accepted by one.
I was down to UC Berkeley and USC. USC was my dream school as a child, and I never thought it would be possible to go there. However, something said apply to it anyways.
The last week of April comes, and I get denied to UC Berkely. I was debated, but not done. I had USC to wait on. I had to wait an extra month just to hear back from USC. What made the wait worse was the calls from credit companies about me paying them even though I had no job.
The 2nd to last week came and I revived a call from my mom telling me my estranged father was dying. I was really sad because I always wanted to forgive my dad. However, he couldn’t talk anymore. It really hurt me on the inside because I knew I would never get the chance again.
He passed away on May 19th. My mom told me he was in and out the hospital for two years. My father never went back to Mexico, because even though he didn’t see my brothers and sisters and I, just the thought of him being close to us was enough for him to stay.
My dad fought for his life for two years, ending with victory because at the end he went with God. It was a beautiful moment knowing that God confirmed to my mom that my dad was indeed in God’s presence. I forgave him. I even went to his viewing even though I didn’t want to see my dad in a casket. I had to honor God’s commandments. My dad left me with a powerful message, and it was to fight until the very end. Fight on no matter what the situation is. Fight until your last breath.
I’m glad my dad got to be buried in his homeland of Mexico and one day I plan on visiting his gravesite there and following his footsteps by believing in God and following his words even though I continue to fail and fall. The last week of May comes and my USC decision is looming. I wake up on Saturday morning and my first intentions are to check my USC portal. As I open up my portal my heart is racing as fast as a cheetah.
I open up to a rejection letter.
How could this be?
I was absolutely devastated and could not understand what was happening in my life. I got denied to every school I applied to, my stranger father dying, no job, got into debt. I thanked God. I was still alive and well at the end of the day.
BUT! Something hit me that morning. I didn’t want to, but something was telling me “This is not it”. My mom called me later on and she told me she was getting the message from God about “where’s my faith?” That whole morning the words appeal kept ringing in my head. I said, “fine I will appeal.”
The USC appeal rules stated it can only be one page and I must provide new and compelling info. I dropped my bro off at work and when I got back home that second, I was more than ready to write my appeal.
I wrote about My dad’s story, how I wanted to become a pro boxer and change the world. I wrote most importantly that message my dad gave me and how it relates to USC’s motto, “fight on”. The words were just flowing out of my heart. All of a sudden, I was happy again.
Here we are today, and I’m as calm as possible. Just the thought of my dad leaving me with one gift of helping me get into my dream school with the help of God brings me to tears. Here I am, as calm as I can be in this situation. I find out about my appeal by the middle of next week July 16th. USC is my dream school, as I want to be close to my mom and also fight my way out of poverty by boxing and buying my mom that house she deserves in Jesus’s name.
I ask all of you for your prayers. The nerves are starting to pick up again. I am not perfect, actually I’m far from it. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry, all I want is to unite with all of you through prayer. Help my pray for my last hope of getting into a university and make my family proud.
“All things whatever you ask for in prayer, you will receive”. Matthew 21:22
Thank you all for reading my journey about these last 8 months. In the name of Jesus it all comes to a amazing victory by the middle of next week.
God bless you all, God is great.
Jay,
I’m praying for you to see and trust the path in front of you, and for God’s will to move in your life, quickly and unhindered. It’s July 17th, so you might have received your appeal outcome by now, and I hope you update this page with the report. I know, no matter what the appeal response is, that God has a strong call on your life. I also know that you have a passionate and seeking heart. And, that God DOES provide for you, and WILL continue to do so. I pray most of all, that you surrender to His plans, which may or may not be the plans you have made. This I know: His plans are always more fulfilling, and He keeps his children well cared for, if they don’t resist Him. There’s that thing called “free will” that will allow us to run off or run ahead with our own ideas and our own plans, and God, because He gave us free will, will wait patiently for us to return to Him and ask Him what to do, when we have exhausted our own ideas and plans. Dont make the mistake of thinking this is a bad thing. We can do whatever we want. I have learned though, the hard way, that following God’s prompts in my heart versus expecting Him to partner with my own plans, are two different things with two different outcomes.
In order to follow God, we need to be able to communicate with Him. We need to be able to sense Him, and His guidance. He is a magnificent God full of mystery, but He does not plan to keep us guessing in the dark about Him. He is a good God who wants to be known by you, and wants to know you too. He wants you to find Him. It’s an adventure when you realize this. He is a Dad who hides treasures for His kids to find. He does not set out to frustrate or confuse His children — that is a lie from the enemy. He is a good God who is right with you in this moment, and in every moment. His PRESENCE contains every answer, because His love for you is that big, and His Presence dwells in you and around you. You are surrounded by love and protection and provision.
Do you read the Bible daily?
If you have not read the Bible, as in cover to cover, I encourage you to do so. It is a big task, I know. It is sooooo worth it. There will be places when you might get hung up, for one reason or another– you might not understand what you have read, or the purpose of it, or the order of events, or the reason for things taking place. Still. I encourage you to keep going anyway. Just keep reading and asking the Lord to help let it settle in you. It will be something you will never forget, and by the time you get to the end of it, you will be a new person. It is impossible to read the Bible and it not change you for the better.
I also encourage you to choose an easily readable translation for this purpose. Something like the New Living Translation … the King James is lovely in so many ways, and yet not the text for reading large passages at one sitting.
I did this — i read the whole Bible cover to cover. It took me months. I was riveted at times and did not want to put it down. At other times, I did not want to keep reading. I felt convicted, confused, worried too, lol… But, then there is God. He is a grace-giving, merciful and loving God who forever seeks His people. And you belong to Him. But in order to know what not to do, you need to know what to do, very well. The Bible is full of good and wise guidance. Also, in order to recognize an anti-christ, you will need to know Christ very well, to be able to spot the difference. Reading God’s word through and through will help you in many ways and I would say is a more profitable goal.
It is important to read and know Scripture, but a faith can feel disjointed if there isn’t one instance where everything falls into the context that God arranged it. I found that my faith and experience with God rocketed forward as I was completing the goal of actually READING the Bible. It was a major step forward in my walk with God, and also in my understanding of His word and His ways. I would be happy to help you find any answers you desire along the way, and, I would say that especially in the Old Testament, to just keep reading, and when it gets scary and God looks and sounds mad, and mean, just know that at that time, there was NO HOLY SPIRIT on earth dwelling in men (The Holy Spirit came to us in our salvation prayer, but that was not even possible for children of God until after Jesus resurrected–see John 16:7 when Jesus says” Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. “),…
In the OT, all but only a few people (the Israelites) had fallen into demonic practices and had chosen their fate in their hearts — that is why God would lead the israelites to conquer in battle. Because the Lord could see into the hearts of men and He knew that the demonic presence before Jesus was not redemptive and would not turn toward Him. His foreknowledge led Him to protect the Jews, the people who DID choose him, beginning with Abram (later called Abraham) and that is why God chose them as His people. Ps, God also saved non-Jews, and an example of someone is Rahab, who was not a jew, but whose heart God could see .. she was a prostitute in the OT, and yet she is actually in the family lineage of Jesus. See James 2:25 God saved all that He could. So, the wars were a protective act to preserve mankind while a way was being made for Jesus to enter the scene. I used to think that God in the Old Testament and God in the New Testament seemed like two different Gods. We know that is not true, and so when I got the revelation that all the events in the OT were to preserve those who would turn to God, and that God knew (and knows now) who would choose to follow Him and love and mercy and grace, He was committed to those people.
We know that today in Romans 8: 28, it says God works all things together for good, for those who LOVE HIM and are called, according to His purpose. God wished and still wishes that NONE would perish, and yet He gives us all free will to turn away. Notice also that it says God “works” — not that He creates. That tells me that not everything in this world comes from God … that is evident to me because no evil comes from God and no harm comes from Him. Romans 8:28 tells me that despite the evil meant for my destruction, from satan which the Bible says he “roams like a lion, seeking to steal, kill and destroy” God intervenes on my behalf, and guards me from that evil intent, and WORKS ALL THINGS for my good, because I belong to Him. He protects and promotes His people. He cannot help those who choose against Him, because as it says in Genesis, He gave us all dominion over ourselves and this world, in free will.
This is a very long comment!: ) I just finished explaining this to another person so I am also sharing it all with you, too. I feel so strongly about reading God’s word for ourselves, and to allow HIM to interpret to us, in our own hearts as we read. It’s really the best and only way to be able to own our own faith, and to learn to be able to detect and hear God ourselves. Then, we are not relying on what anyone else tells us it means. HE WILL TEACH each of us. It is a very exciting and amazing thing when we can get an understanding straight from God — that communication is two-way, and not just one-way. It is relationship, and that is what all this is about. It’s why Jesus came, and sacrificed himself, so we could have RELATiONSHIP with Him. 🙂 if we are not in it one on one with God, our faith will be what we believe ABOUT God, and not that we BELIEVE GOD OURSELVES. It’s one matter to know about something and believe it’s true. It’s another matter entirely to know something ourselves, from personal revelation– that belief no one can convince you away from, because it came straight from God’s heart to yours.
Somewhere in the New Testament, it says the only teacher you need is the Holy Spirit.: ) I have found that my most pivotal and powerful experiences have been in reading my own Bible in my quiet room, with my highlighter and pen, asking God to teach me. 🙂
I encourage you no matter what, do NOT GIVE UP on seeking God. Seek HIM FIRST, as He tells you in Matthew 6:33. Then, ALL THE REST will be added to your life. Why does He advise us to do this? Because He has the answer to everything, and He is the answer to everything. in this natural world you will see problems of all kinds. But God is not bound by this world, He is above it. He tells us He has overcome it! And we are HIS KIDS… The Bible says we are His HEIRS 🙂 So we too are not bound by the rules and limitations of this world .. with the price Jesus paid, He bought you access to His father’s kingdom, where the storehouses of blessings outpour for those who love and obey God. Why? Because He blesses His kids and good fathers bless obedient children…
You have a supernatural Dad, who loves you and has amazing plans for you. He is waiting for you to find Him and trust him and walk with Him on a great adventure called this life, to bless you and bless others through you, as a mighty example. Do you have an injury in your forearm or wrist? I’m sensing it now, and God is impressing on my heart to tell you that is a sign that He knows all about you, even more than the number of hairs on your head…. He never stops thinking of you! He thinks about you all the time! And He is desiring you to trust Him to lead you. So, I hope you’re attending a good Bible believing, hope-filled, active revival church that empowers you to know you are the son THE most high God, and you have an amazing future in store. Don’t believe the lies of the great deceiver satan who would tell you you are anything less. I hope that you have some strong Christian friends who believe likewise so you can lift each other up and keep each other going.
God tells us in the Bible, that Faith is the ASSURANCE of things hoped for. You can believe Him! He is trustworthy! Run to him with all your heart. Ask Him to show you who He is. He is love and light and has no shadow. There is nothing dark in Him, anywhere. He is your shield, your buckler, your protector, your rear-guard, your advocate, your king, your father, your best fried, your answer to everything.
If you have a problem bigger than your God, then you have made your problem your god.
Bless you and all that God has placed in you. He does answer every prayer. He does give you the desires of your heart, just as He promises. You are a world changer, Jay. I am praying with you for God to prevail in a mighty way in your life and for you to see His love for you abound. Despite all the enemy satan intends to harm you, You are the victor in Jesus. Stick close to Him. Do not stray from the safe path laid out for you. Walk rightly and uprightly. You have the power that resurrected Jesus from the dead living in you. And if you don’t if you have not surrendered and submitted your life to Jesus and asked Him to lead you, then my friend, do it now. The Bible says that all who come to Jesus and give their lives to Him are a NEW CREATION. 2 Corinthians 5:17… “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”
Bless you greatly in your faith and hope and love. #
one clarification:
In my previous comment, I wrote, “…Because He blesses His kids and good fathers bless obedient children…”
While this is true, we do not earn God’s love or blessing. The Bible says that as proof of this, God gave Jesus as a sacrifice, while we were still sinners… God made the first move, and did not ask anyone for any kind of effort or commitment when He did that.
While we do NOT earn God’s love or favor, it also stands to reason that by being obedient and walking in God’s love and instruction, we do not cut ourselves OFF from His love and communication to us. When we stray from Him, it is easy to get swallowed up by the world, one small bite at a time, and we can lose our way. God never removes His love or desires for us, to bless and protect us. We wander and stumble out from under His covering.
This is important to remember because many believe they must earn right standing with God and this is not true and not found in the Bible, but it is a lie and deception from the father of lies, satan, who seeks to keep people from realizing how LOVED they are. So please be clear, that obeying God’s word is a protection He offers you, because He knows all things, and so He gives good advice, so as not to have His kids harmed. It is not an authority trip. It is a protection from a loving and Good Father. 🙂 We obey and want to obey, from a place of love for God because we see all He is and does for us — not from a place of doing it for love or approval, The latter is the way of the world which is not the way of God. 🙂 God’s love is without condition. We dont have an example of that anywhere else in our world, which may be one reason why so many have trouble believing it. 🙂
Bless you #
Wow! Delta that was an amazing message. I thank you for that and I know God put that in your heart to write that to me. I’m speechless. Thank you and God bless you!
Well, everyone, my appeal was rejected. However, after all these rejections this year I was not sad. No, not this time! This time is different! This time I know these aren’t the schools God has stored for me. This isn’t the plan he has for me! God has something greater for me! I claim victory in God’s name! I will thank him for his plan every day. I will try my best to follow his word and be obedient. I want to see God’s plan. I have no clue what’s in store for me in the 2nd half of 2014 since I won’t be attending a university, but I will out my faith in God and play the background.
God is enough.
Jay, it is so encouraging to read your journey and see your faith getting stronger as you get closer to God. Do you have any updates you can share with us?