I don’t really know where to begin but I wanted my personal testimony of deliverance to be able to touch someone who may be as I was: trapped with no escape because I was too afraid to cry out for help. I wanted to let someone else know that when you are “Chosen By God” you have a greater purpose and when you are trying to fulfill your purpose without including God in it, you will always feel empty and incomplete.
For a while I had been living a life of insecurity, defeat, depression, brokenness, and total oblivion to the world around me. I was so trapped within myself that my life began to take this slow downward fall to Hell and after I couldn’t get a grip, I began to enjoy this downward spiral and the devil was enjoying taking me. I didn’t really care who said what to me, who I made angry, who I talked back to, who I disputed with – none of that didn’t really matter because “I WAS RIGHT€ and “NOBODY UNDERSTOOD ME.
I continued to go about the normal routine of going to church whenever the doors were open, making sure that I didn’t miss a service unless I really had a “good reason because I didn’t want anything to be said if I didn’t show up. Sometimes I wanted to be there and sometimes I really could have cared less and even when I got there and those times I could care less, I didn’t really pretend like I cared even in other people’s presence. I continued to get up and go about my daily routine job, and felt the same way I did about church, some days I cared, some I didn’t. But, I avoided confronting the real issues at all with anyone. If you didn’t like me, I didn’t care. If you talked to me or not, I didn’t really care. If you wanted to hang around me or not, after I had gotten so immune to being by myself anyway, and excluding myself from everyone, I DIDN’T CARE! You see the pattern. The enemy wanted me to believe I was in the right no matter who I hurt or who I made feel bad and yet I was still “on my way to heaven!” NOT!!!! The more I got trapped within myself, the more the devil was feeding into my spirit all of the things I should do, who I should listen to, who not to listen to, who to steer away from (not all necessarily for the good), and who to just completely avoid at all costs! AND I DID JUST THAT!
I was hurting deep down inside because I felt like no one cared, had this façade like it didn’t matter but it hurt to be alone, but all this time I had been making people not care because they didn’t want anything to do with someone who cared nothing about their self. I hurt because the enemy had a hold on my thoughts, my mind, my actions, my attitude, and he never let me see myself. Yes, some of those times in church I did feel the presence of God, God may have used me through a song or music, and even at those times when I felt like I really didn’t want to be there, it was at those times that someone might come and say to me “I really enjoyed you tonight, God used you. Thank God for that anointing.” And, in my routine, I would say as I had been taught, “To God Be The Glory! and the devil would let me feel like I still had it together. While others were looking like, “Yeah, whatever! You just don’t know the real truth!” How many know that you can have an anointed leader who can intervene on behalf of the church and even in the midst of a service pray such a prayer that the devil will have no place to stick his head so that others that truly need and want something from God can still get what they are looking for? That’s the kind of ANOINTED, CHOSEN Leader that I have. My pastor is not just a woman of prayer and faith, but is also a woman of God that doesn’t mind going head to head, eye-to-eye, cheek-to-cheek with the devil! And, that is why the enemy wanted to keep me trapped and caught up thinking it’s all about me and not seeing myself because the more I kept myself hidden from myself, I would push myself further away from God, further away from the leading of a great pastor, and further away from my “umbilical cord in the spirit! She is my lifeline ordained and predestined by God to not just watch after my spiritual being but to be a mentor to me and steer me in reaching my greatest potential in life as well as in Christ. And, the devil knew if he could tear me away from that lifeline, he was going to literally kill me and not just in my spiritual walk with Christ!!! Yet, it was in deliverance class, the night God predestined a breakthrough for not only myself, but my spiritual lifeline, that God used a bond as strong as an umbilical cord to take over the natural desire to let go and instead allow the spirit to intercede on my behalf that would release a breakthrough in my life.
I can’t explain everything that happened that night, but I can tell you this—when the enemy had me telling my spiritual lifeline to just let me go and leave me alone, I know it was the spirit of God that overtook the words that came out of her mouth (because she too had had enough and was ready to give me up!) and instead of releasing me to die (which is where I was headed), in the spirit I heard the love of a “spiritual umbilical cord begin to release words beyond her own feelings that broke through that wall of deception planted by the enemy. It was then that instead of hearing the devil, God allowed me to hear the love of a mother I denied begin to intercede for a child she vowed to protect, nurture, and instruct no matter what. It was then that God allowed me to recognize the voice that kept me alive, the voice that called out in the midnight hours even when I was far away, and I felt the presence of God nurture me back to not just the loving arms of a denied mother, but the loving arms of a denied God!
That night God manifested a 3-fold healing: healing of my soul, healing of a relationship between God and myself, and the healing of a relationship between the umbilical cord and the baby that was birthed from that umbilical cord! And, it was in that release in the atmosphere that I stand here today at peace with myself, at peace with the world around me, at peace with God, and at peace with my “umbilical cord whom I love with all my heart! I am being processed to a greater relationship in Christ and I know who I am and WHOSE I am, for I am DELIVERED TO BE DELIVERED TO. I am no longer at a place where I am afraid to cry out to God for help for I know where my help comes from! I am not afraid to walk in my integrity and fulfill the destiny He has chosen for my life because I am fearfully and wonderfully made! I am WHO I AM because GOD MADE ME UNIQUE! I am:
Noble & Wise, because I am.
Inspired by “My Lifeline”
Qualified Chosen to be
Undeniably Righteous Because I
Escaped From My Past!
My prayer today and everyday now is that God would continue to take me to a greater dimension in His Word and I know that if I can keep my head up and keep my mind elevated on the spiritual that I can obtain ANYTHING I want and I can ACHIEVE anything I want in Christ because I have the POWER OVER THE DEVIL and everything in my past was erased by the Blood of Jesus! TO GOD BE ALL GLORY FOR THE AWESOME WORKS HE IS PERFECTING IN MY LIFE!!!