Addiction is what has separated me from my savior. The love I have for Jesus is what set me free. It took the Love I have for my baby girls, and the guidance from a friend at work, to move me beyond my addiction, and back to Jesus. My friend gave me a link to a website, Oneplace.com. where I was introduced to some excellent pastors on the web, I started listening to them 8 hours a day. The pastors, in addition to Pastor Stan, were glorious lights from God to my soul, and I pray that God will continue to bless their ministries. The power of the sermons gave me the strength to stay in the light and walk with God. My heart was softening from the love I felt from God. I felt like a big weight had been lifted off of me. I became much more emotional, crying out of joy and thankfulness.
One day I was staring at my oldest daughter, Harlie. I was thinking just how blessed I am to have her as a daughter. My thoughts drifted, and I pictured my baby girl on the cross. Just like God had placed his little boy on the cross.
I felt an outpouring of love from God. At that moment I felt an electric shock, and something popped inside my chest. I felt the Holy Spirit surround me; it was the most love I have ever felt in my entire life. My life was transformed in an instant, the chains that had been around my heart were cut. I realized just how much God loves me, and the price he paid for us to enter the kingdom of heaven. God gave his only son to die on a Cross, for our sins.
Now that I’m a father of 2 baby girls, I realize what and incredible price God paid for our salvation. I now feel God’s continuous presence in my life and an indescribable peace. I also understand why they call the bible a living, breathing, word of God. There is supernatural power in the scriptures of the bible.
The past 10 months I have spent walking with the Lord, has been the greatest investment I could have ever made in my life. I picture myself as a little lamb next to my shepherd, with my eyes always focused on him. I will never leave my shepherd’s side. I now look at the cross and understand what Jesus did for all of us. I give God all of the glory.
What a awesome testimony!!!!!! God’s Word is Living and Breathing. You must have Christ as your Savior to even understand this statement. God Bless you and your family.
Praise the Lord, Accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and savior is biggest life time investment for anyone in this world and of course he entitled to have the eternal life.I am a born again and I am guided by Holy spirit. It’s a wondeful expereinece and communicating to God in Tongues is also a gift of God. God almighty is awesome God, if you accept him he would never leave you alone. This is my experience.
May God bless all.
George Varghese
God is good……awesome ….all wonderfull…glorious ……..mighty…..
thank you for such an inspiring testimony!! i too felt his empowering love. its so strong that it hits the deepest part of you. i had to kneel down and just cried. praise the Lord!!
One more born again. Dear joint heirs of Christ, Love you all in Christ. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 1 John 4:20 I thank God for giving an opportunity to share the influence of Jesus in my life. Please forgive me that I am not very good at English.Let me tell you little about my life before christ. I was addicted to sexual thoughts since the age of eleven I believe so. At the age of 12, I got deceived by devil of sex and the demon possessed me.
I tried to touch the private parts of my younger sister without her knowing while she was sleeping and that was the first time I was taken complete control by Satan. Since then, I would try to molest her while she was sleeping. She was just 9 by that time. My mom came to know of this and she got shocked. She scolded me and told father. He scolded me too but didn’t talk to me regarding that later. Since then whenever I found her sleeping I would try to do some sexual thing without her knowledge. She was so innocent. By that time I was 13 I got to know more about through my friends at school which I would secretly keep in mind. I was addicted to masturbation and incest sex. It is not that I hated my sister. I loved her so much but I am not able to control my thoughts because I was under Satan’s control. I used to remain awake still my mom sleeps and tried a thousand times to do some sexual contact with my younger sister while she was sleeping. My mom lost sleep because of this. Frightened of my devilish activity she would stay awake most of the time to protect my sister from me (demon possessed).
But still, the demon used me very badly. Whenever my mom goes out, I was trying to do some sexual thing with my sister when she was sleepig. Sometimes, she had gotten up and was not aware what was happening. When she came into sense, I would pretend that I had done nothing. Once my sister also came to know of this after her puberty and mom wanted me to ask sorry for what I have done to her. POOR GIRL!! HOW SHE SHOULD HAVE FELT??? MOLESTED BY HER OWN BROTHER! But to my astonishment with tears in her eyes. SHE FORGAVE ME!!!!!!!!!Jesus! How could she do that?? I was astonished by that and really felt by that time that I should not treat her badly from then on.
Since India is a male child biased society, my parents cared less for my sister. I would have committed suicide I don’t know if I was in my sister’s mindset.But now, the devil started tormenting me that you can seduce her and if she is also interested that I could do everything with her permission. So I started doing the same thing over and over whenever I found her sleeping. Again, she came to know of that and this time she was far too depressed. A month before I and my sister became too close and I loved her too much. While I was sleeping, she would come to my room and she would wake me telling some toy stories assuming I was a child. She loved me so much. Please remember I was under Satan’s control. This guy would force you to do the thing he wants apart from how much anyone loved you. So I left the home to go searching for a job. My mom became upset because of this. She couldn’t take it. I was still under Satan’s control but far away from my family so that I can’t harm them.
While I was in other city searching for a job, I came to know about Jesus. I had a christian friend too who showed me that Jesus is Life. I’ll tell about that later. I had an opportunity to watch “Passion of the Christ” movie. I got moved by the scene at the cross. How can he forgive a person who is crucifying him. I got attracted by the very quality and got to know more about Jesus through my christian friend. Apart from this incest sin, I was also addicted to molesting married women and girls in bus while commuting to work. I spent most of the time thinking about this.
I got beatings and even more while doing such thing while travelling in public bus. I was trying to place hands on private parts on women who would sit beside me. And would try to put finger beneath a woman who would sit front of me through the gaps of anything I found. And would try to touch their legs and hands.Life was so miserable. Most of the time I would try to restrain from this habit but was always conquered by demon. In the middle I would ask my mom how is my sister. I was trying to ensure whether she had recovered from my wrong doings or not. I started reading Bible because of the qualities of “My dear Lord” told by my friend. I would rush to the pages about sexual addiction in proverbs and was trying to imitate the same. I was good for some week and then started over again. The devil was deceiving me to keep in his control saying his most powerful deception. “If you become a christian you will not enjoy these things. So enjoy now then you become a christian. Because Jesus will forgive you” I was kept from Jesus by these sayings for long.
At some point of time, I badly wanted to come out of my sexual addiction. I don’t remember exactly. One day I was watching Jesus movie and at the end of the movie I had prayed the prayer of salvation. After praying that I had forgotten and I continued in my sin. One day I was travelling in bus, something very powerful like a blow of wind hit me. And I felt like something went inside me. Instead of sitting beside a woman in a bus to molest her which was my usual way, I went to the last seat of the bus where only men alone would sit. God!! What happened to me??? WOW THIS FEELS SO GOOD. Later, I came to know that is the “HOLY SPIRIT”. Hallelujah. I was possessed by christ without even knowing that I am possessed. After that everything stopped altogether because I came to know of the truth that Jesus is the son of God and He died for me at the cross and he would come again.
The truth set me free. I prayed a little prayer in my heart that I wanted my sister talk to me like before and Jesus did that. Oh God how great your mercy is! She has forgiven me and told my mom so confidently that I would never harm her ever again. After this, one day while she was sleeping I was kidding her pinching her nose. She thought I had started over again. But I didn’t actually. Then she believed I really changed. Now she has become very closer to me than mom and dad. Praise the Lord. Father, thank you so much.Later, I would go pick up my sister even at midnight. She never got doubt in my transformation and she also believed in Jesus for a while later to be deceived by my cousin to another false God.
Now my family is under Jesus’s control. Through me He is controlling most of the actions done at my home. My dad would not do a thing without consulting me. But he doesn’t know that I’ve accepted Jesus. I am waiting upon the Lord to tell at the right time. By Your will not by my will.Initially, my mom protested against this but now she has accepted me as Jesus’s son. She even told me that she has surrendered me to Jesus to take good care of me though she has not accepted Him personally. O Jesus, Really you are mysterious.
Friends, I would want to mention I never slept with a girl. But as Jesus says “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Mat 5:28My dear lovely brothers and sisters in christ, I have only mentioned in detail about the illegal incest which I was washed by Jesus’s blood. But I would like to mention the sexual touches I had try to commit and committed. Thank you my dear Jesus. You have freed me from every sin.
1) I tried to molest my cousin while she was sleeping.
2) I had done gay with my retarded elder cousin and younger cousin. (He was 3 and I was 15)
3) I had done some physical things with a child 3 years old which visited my house during summer.
4) I tried to seduce my aunts, grandmothers, cousin sisters while they were sleeping all went unnoticed but by God.
The story is not over yet. Later, the devil again deceived me that I had become very strong now so even if a girl comes naked before me I would not be tempted. Slowly I was trapped again and started molesting strangers in bus and train for more than a year. I would ask forgiveness and start again. I tried to stay calm for a month and again tempted. I was weak and lost confidence. Then I read those verses in Bible “For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first.” I got to know what I was doing. Still I couldn’t stop it. I was very desperate to return to the Lord. Even sinning, I didn’t renounce Jesus as Lord by my mouth which I was renouncing him by my deeds. I realized that was due to lack of faith and the devil is tempting me.
One day I was meditating these words during my prayer while tears was flowing like river. I told Jesus that my heart, my soul and mind aches for Him. I groaned that I am not able to decide things properly and pleaded that if He would guide me through my life. While I was saying these words aloud, my hands started lifted up in the air. I felt like that He would guide me till my death. Praise be the Lord now and forever. And my sexual thoughts have controlled by Jesus. He made me realize that I am weak and taught me how to behave like one. So whenever I felt like attracted sexually towards woman, I looked apart or else looked on the ground. The Bible says run from the sexual sin. So did Joseph, when he was caught by a sinful woman.
The Lord is guiding me wonderfully through His way. Whenever I feel tempted when I sit beside a girl or woman I would call for Jesus’s name. He would free me from that situation somehow. While in bus I would get another seat or the girl would get down. That’s how He answers in a peculiar way. Oh my Lord really I love you more than my dad, mom and sister. Father, bless everyone who reads this and use this testimony to reach people’s heart by Your spirit. Let it be done by Your will and not by my will.Jesus loved us in the first place that’s why we’re loving Him. Wretched persons who continues in sin even after being born again. Lord has sent me to show you all that He still loves stinking creatures like us. He just doesn’t want us to leave us after all whatever we do. Forget about everything else in life.
Please…. For Christ’s sake, Let’s ABIDE IN HIM. If we abide in Him, he will take care. Nothing that causes damage to our body or soul can even come near His sphere of influence around us. Let’s pray.Jesus, increase Your sphere of influence around everyone of us. You have a unique purpose for everyone of us. Make us realize and make us ensure that we are in line with your purpose. Snatch our thinking and be our brains. Think and act for us. Don’t let us walk in our own ways. Drag us through your narrow way.Take out the human thought from our hearts and fill it with your purpose. Please take our body as living sacrifice for Your purpose. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy spirit. Amen.