I’m having a difficult time lately. I’m 27, will be graduating with my bachelor’s degree in May. I graduated high school in 2002, I just feel like I have no motivation to go anywhere in life. I have been on antidepressants since I was 11 or 12.
My biggest problem lately is with relationships. After my 5-year relationship with a great guy ended 5 years ago, I have just had a hard time. I’ve dated people, but it has never worked out, for various reasons. I am now dating a guy who I met at work. He’s 29, has two kids and is divorced. He is a good guy and is good to his kids and me. I never thought I’d be dating a divorced guy with two kids, but I thought I’d give it a try.
My problem is I keep hearing the same thing from every guy I date…
“I don’t think I make you happy.”
I’m naturally kind of moody and depressed at times, and it’s not their job to make me happy…I just feel bad I make them feel that way and wonder, is it because he isn’t the right one for me? Am I missing something else in my life? It has been very important to me to find a man who lives his life for God. I want that bond with someone. Bill believes in God but is reserved about it. I want to pray together, to praise together…
I don’t want to stick with the wrong guy just because it keeps me from being lonely. I just don’t know if I have such an unhappiness with myself and am relying on him to make me happy, or is it that he really isn’t all I need?
Things I don’t like about myself – moody, selfish, unmotivated, emotional.
Things I do like about myself – open minded, my faith, honesty.
Things I like about Bill – caring, genuine, honest, silly.
Things I don’t like about Bill – lack of communication, not romantic, no zest in life – seems to just live day to day working and is content with that.
Hey Liz,
First off, congratulations on your upcoming graduation. For someone who claims they have no motivation, this is an achievement to be very proud of. Ok, second of all, while you do list “faith” as something you like about yourself, I must ask you one question. How much FAITH do you have in allowing God to bring you the right person in your life? Because it seems as if you are trying to control this part of your life by yourself. Not only that, but you seem to be placing so much value on this person filling whatever void you have, and not placing GOD FIRST! Only HE can fill those voids, Liz. Place HIM first, cast your burdens onto HIM, read your bible, surround yourself with good, positive people…and you will see all those negative things you listed about yourself be replaced with a joy like no other!!! God has plans for you, Liz. Believe this with your entire heart. He loves you!! I hope this helps. God Bless you =)
I just said a prayer for you, sister.
I know how it feels to struggle for what I want for my life, and I have found that the best thing to do is to surrender my struggle to Jesus. He loves you very much and He knows what you need {He also knows what will work best for you too}.
Ask Him to take your burden and submit yourself to His good and loving will for your life.
You will discover indeed that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. {see Matthew 11:28-30}
I also encourage you to take time in prayer and reading His Word. Ask the Holy Spirit to open your mind and heart when you read His Word. His words will bring joy and peace to your troubled soul.
Hi Liz,
I am 27 years old too and I know plenty of people say wait on God and that God can fill voids in your life, but rarely does that make sense, especially during our struggle.
In the world, it’s easy to look at life from accomplishment to accomplishment, and to be hard on ourselves. I can tell from your post that you’re getting caught up. Well, Liz, life is a journey-not a destination. (got that from an India Arie song:-)but, it’s full of truth) We have a lifetime to get it right, praise God! So, don’t get caught up in trying to figure it all out. Something else I’ve learned: If you look into the future, you get anxiety and if you focus on the past, you get pain…work on living in today.
It seems like maybe the guy you’re dating doesn’t make you happy. Only you can truly answer that. However, love isn’t about feelings. Love is a decision. Both good and bad feelings are included. So that’s something to consider. I can tell you (from my personal experience), if you pray and fast, asking God to tell you if the guy you’re dating is the one God wants you to be with, He will. But start with God. Ask God to have his will in your life, to show you yourself, then be open and honest with the process. God will change your life.
I hope this helps. May God bless you!!
~Sabrina
hi. im 24 this august, and i totally understand what you are feeling. iv been going through the same thing, and my 2year relationship with the love of my life is on the verge of death..it saddens me. but i have learnt to put God first. He does fill the void. i have experienced His forgiveness, and i am not hurting. i wholly trust God to make it work. My bf broke up with me last night, but i asked him to give me one more week. i am putting God to the test in this one week, and i just know He will not fail me. God is great. it makes me so confident to know that the God of the universe, creator of all, in all His glory and majesty, cares about me, and is willing to do something about it. let God complete you, only then can your relationship be a cord of three, as is described in the book of Eccl.4:12. pray with me for the next one week, and stay Blessed.
Karen,
Keep in mind, God’s ways aren’t our ways. As you wait on God, consider that whatever the outcome is (whether it is what you hoped for or not), that God is the orchestrator of the lives of those who submit to His authority….and well, if it doesn’t work out the way you want it to, know that He has a plan. And His plan never fails. It is a plan for your good, to prosper you (jeremiah 29:11).
Lots of love!
~Sabrina
Dear Liz,
Im not sure if it is right to mention another website here, but im doing it for your sake. It has helped me a lot. It is rejoiceministries.org. I may raise some eyebrows here when i say, a man tho divorced legally(law of the world), still remains married to his one-flesh covenant wife in the EYES of God! Pls dont have any part in that. See Matth 19.9, Mark 10.11, 1Cori 7.27
Liz, put God first,
Seek HIS FACE,
Make Him your first love.
Let Him drive-
He’l take yu wher yu need to be.
He’l bring th right person to yu.
You are STILL young. Cheer up.
Lizz
Hey Liz,
A correction:
It is Rejoice Marriage Ministries, not Rejoiceministries. You can subscribe to Charlyne Cares, it really helps!
Thanks,
Lizz