One woman’s testimony of a miserable life to healing and victory
I was tired of the struggle of my life. I had PTSD Chronic from childhood junk and it was never supposed to go away. The emotional struggle of my life was feeling like I would get knocked down and it would take so much effort to eventually feel like I was up again. It seemed like as soon as I would get up, I would get knocked down again and that was my reality. I would sleep my life away days and weeks at a time, because I felt like that was the only time I felt peace. I was 24, almost 25 years old and I purposed in my heart that I would not live to be 50 this way, I will kill myself first.
So, March 3rd, 2002 I completely meant to succeed in committing suicide. However, Jesus had another plan. Jesus carried me and in my blacked out state I made a phone call. The person I called never heard me speak a word, but heard pills drop. I was so suicidal that I was still suicidal in a blacked out state. My first thought when I woke up was
“I’m still here.”
I really didn’t expect to be.
My Mom found a church to take me to, because she knew the Dr’s wouldn’t be able to fix this. One time in the middle of preaching full speed ahead the Pastor stopped and came to me and placed his hands on each side of my face. I started laughing and there was a warmth that went all over me. I know that is when Jesus touched me!
After that I would have divine appointments where a stranger would have words my heart needed to hear. In 2004, I received my gift of faith. Sitting at home by myself God showed me the timeline and that even our time revolves around him! No one else sits that high! I came to realize that the Bible is truly the Word of God and that Jesus is everything the Bible says. In 2007, I surrendered my life to Jesus and made him Lord of my life! I grew a desire to get to know God for who he is.
In 2010, I was baptized in Jesus name!
After that, there was a faith that rose up in me that I would find my healing from PTSD Chronic while walking this earth! I started asking people to agree with me in prayer for complete healing and restoration from PTSD Chronic. I needed the Lord to make my brain capable of processing all the childhood junk that I couldn’t come to terms with.
The Lord gave me a scripture Zechariah 4:6
“Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit saith the Lord of hosts.”
I then knew that His Spirit was the only way my healing was going to come! One of the hardest things I ever did in my life was facing the pain from my childhood. I felt like I was suffocating when I allowed all that to resurface. I didn’t back down though.
Eventually, there was evidence of my healing! I wasn’t a falling apart mess at the altar. I heard a preacher preach that should’ve triggered all that hurt on the inside and it was like a scan that I could see all of that was gone! I started working at 2 stored within the company I worked for and was pulling 60+ hours a week. I had to move and didn’t reduce my hours! I packed when I was off work. I would feel tired, but was realizing that I was emotionally ok! Soon after the move, I discovered I had literal physical exhaustion! I praised the Lord, because I had never been able to live my life so fully!