Woman Dreaming

Learning to Forgive

I pray that God uses this to help, heal, set someone free in Jesus’ name.

God just recently helped me get out of a marriage that was toxic and not a good situation for me or my son. I was married to an unsaved man for about 3 1/2 years. When we married, I wasn’t saved, and he wasn’t. But God saved me in the beginning of the marriage. We had a war in our house we were on two different pages. I sought God about the marriage and felt like God was telling me to just stand. So I prayed for strength I prayed that God would save him and fix me to love him.

When we first married, I didn’t love him at all I had lots of unforgiveness toward him because of what we had experience in bad times in the past. But I grew to love him when I drew closer to God. He caused me lots of pain, from cheating and mental abuse and emotional abuse. But in my mind, I was hoping and believing he would change. So, I asked God to give, me strength.

Well, he was doing illegal things and God had recently brought my son back to me. He started not talking to me for no reason at all it was hurtful because I was trying everything I knew. He started being very disrespectful, so I went to God. I was broken, hurt and miserable and just wanted him to love me but he was doing the opposite. He was rejecting me many times. I would want to hug him and love him he rejected me.

So, I went to God again. I told God I was so tired, and I was. God told me to let it go I didn’t understand it. I didn’t want to because in my mind I thought God would save him but when he left, I cried deep groans I hurt for two weeks couldn’t eat or drink but the whole time God was talking to me encouraging me and gave me peace.

I will never fully understand why God allowed me to stay and endure as long as he did. But honestly, I feel like even in a bad situation God was making me. I learned how to forgive, how to love, submit, lean on God. I asked God was it over forever. He let me know it was.

But you know God gave me strength and grace to come out of it. God knows what is best for us and he wants us to grow in Him. Sometimes what we think we need is the opposite. So now I know my worth as His child.


  1. cheeryleesa 11/5/2013
  2. Jasha 11/5/2013
  3. David 11/8/2013
  4. Jasha 11/9/2013
  5. David 11/11/2013

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