I am now trusting God with my relationship. It has been an amazing journey for me and I want to share it…
I got engaged last January. I always knew that this man is whom I prayed for. He also revealed to me that he prayed for me. In our 4 years of togetherness, we were happy. We are sure that we wanted to marry each other and be together forever.
Like every relationship, we always have petty fights and arguments. But we always make up. But things got rocky last July and my fiance said that he’s tired anymore. He broke up with me. No valid explanations. He just said that he’s tired of us arguing, and he was scared that we might argue if we get married. I wanted to save the relationship but he’s not giving in. I tried my best for him to change his mind but he said he doesn’t want to talk anymore.
I was so broken. I could feel this burden breaking my heart. I was left hanging. I tried talking to him for the last time, I drove to his house and asked him if that was really his final decision and that if he still loves me then we’ll fix the relationship.
We were both emotional that time, especially me. I was crying and talking and demanding for an explanation because I do not understand. By the looks of it, he doesn’t want to leave me but he needs to. I can feel that he still loves me. But in end, he stuck with his decision and we went our separate ways.
The following weeks were rough. I was devastated. I always cry in my sleep.
And when everything got too hard for me to handle… I knew I needed to pray.
I asked God why would He take my fiance away from me when I have believed that He is really the one He sent me. I asked God what should I do because I was really hurting.
After I prayed, I got my answer. I opened my eyes and I saw the serenity prayer right in front of me. I knew that is God’s answer to me.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
God wants me to accept the situation and change. I knew I needed some changing. In our 4 years of relationship, I realized that I’ve forgotten about God. I pray but I do not have a relationship with Him. That’s why my bf and I we’re fragile.. we are happy but we are not strong. We did not put Christ in the center of our relationship and I did not put God first. My whole world revolved around my bf.
I surrendered everything to God. I put Him in control over my heart and my life. God wants me to trust His will that He will make all things right.
On my spiritual journey on mending my broken heart, God revealed to me that my fiance is really the one. I’m certain it was the Holy Spirit. He revealed to me that we needed to break up so we can fix ourselves before the marriage. It is God correcting us.
After two months, I can say that God get me through my darkest days and I completely understand why it has to happen. I do not feel any pain and anger towards my fiance.. I already forgive him. God filled my heart with faith, hope and love.
Whenever I read the bible, I ask for the Holy Spirit to give me wisdom to understand God’s words rightfully and all I’m getting from the bible is restoration and unity.
If my thought of God bringing us back together is because of my desire, then why am I changing for the better? Why am I getting closer to God?
The sheep knows the voice of its shepherd. I know God talks to me in any way. There’s this one day I was crying over wedding videos and I prayed to God to talk to me before sleeping and in the morning I just I woke up hearing “YOUR WEDDING IS HAPPENING”… I know it was from God.
And just a few weeks ago, I woke up with God telling me to just let go.. I knew I had to obey. So I texted my fiance that I’m letting go of him. I understood that God wants me to let go so He can fix him. It wasn’t hard for me because I know God is in control.
I also realized that FEAR is the reason why we’re weak. I feared that I will lose him so I didn’t trust him fully. He feared that we might argue when we get married.
My fiance and I are still not talking but I am praying and I know the God will fulfill His promise. My fiance blocked me in facebook and removed all our photos but it didn’t hurt me because I know we’ll be okay in God’s time. I am praying hard that God takes away his fear.
I trust God and while waiting for our God’s perfect time, I will strengthen my faith and continue loving. God will give us peace and will restore and repair our relationship. I believe that God corrected us in order for us to be ready with our life together. Please pray for us.