A young man earnestly praying

I Should Be Dead

My name is Christian. I was born and raised in a God believing family. Every Sunday morning we were taken to church service and Sunday school, even every Wednesday night my brothers and I would go to church. From going to church all the time, I knew all the basic answers and made the decision to get baptized at a young age. Although I was baptized, I was not saved. I had not truly given my life over to the, Lord.

In middle school, I started to smoke and chew tobacco, drink a little alcohol, and smoke a little pot. It was not consuming my life at this point, but I was far too young to be needing to get involved with any of this stuff. Then at the end of 8th grade I met this girl from a different church. She was going to be a senior, and I was going to be a freshman. I liked her a lot, so I decided I was going to quit my old lifestyle for her since she was a Christian, so I could be with her. Our relationship was off and on, it was not steady. She was saved, and I was not. Our age did not help our rocky relationship. So eventually we decided to break up “for good”.

After we broke up, I went right back to the life I used to live. I went back because I put my faith in something that does not last forever. Except this time, it was much worse. I got into partying all the time, drinking lots of alcohol, having sex with different women, and I got into different drugs besides just pot. My life was just spiraling out of control.

One day, I decided this was not how I wanted to continue living my life. I prayed to God and asked Him to help me. I made a few sad attempts to try and fix my life, but I always went back to the same old crap.

Then one night, a bunch of buddies and I were out at my shop drinking. Within a time span of 45 minutes, I had drunk seven beers and three shots of vodka. Over 30% of my bloodstream was alcohol that night. The last thing I remember was putting empty beer cans back in the box. I do not remember leaving the shop. I do not remember driving out on some back road to ditch the empties. I do not remember driving to my friend’s house. I do not remember driving to Casey’s to buy another beer. I do not remember driving into a house going 70 mph without a seat belt on, and with no airbag being deployed, bouncing my face off of the steering wheel into the windshield. I do not remember the cop stepping back from the truck as the stench of blood and vomit from inside the cap rushed to meet his face after he opened the door. I do not remember him pulling my body out of the truck as he looked at my teeth that sat on the dashboard. I do not remember the ride in the helicopter to the city.

I should be dead.

The first thing I can remember is waking up in the hospital, turning to see my mother sitting in the corner and saying to her, “I ****** up, didn’t I?” She said, “Yeah, you did, but it’s going to be okay.” There in the hospital I gave my life to Christ. He made it clear that He was not going to play around anymore.

My life sucked after that for a long time. I still face the consequences of my actions. I wanted to serve my country by joining the Marines. Long story short, they would not let me join because of the head damages I received from my accident. So instead I decided to attend college.

Right after my accident though, several things happened. I owed money for different things. My truck was destroyed. My license was removed. Insurance fees went up. At my court date, I was put on probation for about a year, I had different classes I had to attend, I received 48 hours of community service, and I had to go to a go to a recovery clinic. But now I had the Lord. I did not have to go through all of that by myself. Through all of it, I grew extremely close to Christ. I knew I could depend on Him. He spared my life, so I decided to give it back to Him.

He completely changed my life around. Even though some of those old habits stuck around for a while, the closer I grew to God, the less and less I saw those things in my life. I am far from perfect, so very far, but Jesus died on the cross for me. Not only does that make me sinless, but it also makes me righteous before God. When you let God work in your life, He will make broken things beautiful. I went from partying, sex, drugs, and alcohol, to singing on the praise team, joining Bible studies, and even teaching classes on Wednesday nights.

This is the power of God’s great grace. If you have not accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord and savior of your life, the invitation from Him is always there. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

God is good, always.

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