I’m in a very difficult season of my life. I refer to it as the Job season because I feel like I’m constantly getting tested for my faith in Jesus. I’m so tired and there have been several times when I’ve said I’ve lost hope and that I hated my life. When Job was getting tested several times, he loathed his life and felt his life had no hope (Job 7 & 10). This is exactly how I’ve been feeling.
I’m a first-year college student and it’s my first time being in the US and living independently. I struggled the moment I moved into my dorm. I continued to struggle until this point in my life. I loathed my life and sometimes, I still do, like Job. I would feel tired of getting tested. My faith in Jesus surely went up and down; it was rocky ever since I came. I’ve always felt my life had no meaning, no hope. I feel like everything is being stripped away from me. It hurts and there’s too much pain.
Even though Job was being tested for this faith, he still chose to hope in God (Job 13). His friends were basically telling him that he shouldn’t have faith in God because look at what’s happening to him. I really admired Job for what he went through. It feels like I’m having a Job moment/season because my faith is constantly being tested and there’s been so much pain that I’ve been telling God that I hate my life and I’m tired.
My take on this season of my life is that even though all of these scary, bad things are happening to me, I will still hope in God.
Why?
Because I have absolutely no reason to blame Him or be angry with Him. My faith is in Him and not the enemy. I’m trying to stop telling God that I hate my life because that’s what the enemy wants me to say. He wants me to tell God that He made a mistake putting me in this world. He wants me to yell at God and blame Him. But I have no reason to. If I did, the enemy would win over me. I would be his slave. But I’d rather be a slave of Jesus.
I do my best to pray to God and stay close to Him. I just felt like sharing this to somebody. If you’re reading this, I’m praying for you. Jesus loves you and I do too. Talk to Him every day about anything because it’s making the enemy work harder to get you separated from the Almighty. I’m proud of you for getting this far. 🙂
Amen. Thank you Yania. Let us continue praying for one another. The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords has already given us the Victory.
One must have an expectation which then make one to be hopeful. Hope then birth faith in one. Faith is very important to get victory over the devil and his forces. Job said in Job 3:25 that what he feared has come upon him. Whatever thing one fears will come upon one. The opposite of faith is fear. Only one of them can dwell in one at a time. Nullify every fear with the Blood of Jesus and stir up hope in you which then build your faith, then every mountain shall move.
There is a wilderness between Egypt and Promised land. Most of the children of Israel that left Egypt couldn’t get to the Promised land because of murmuring. We must continue to trust God in all situations. Paul said in Romans 8:35 that nothing should separate us from the love of Christ.
Every precious material passes through the fire and after comes out great. Whatever trial you are going through is to bring forth the glory of God in you which shall soon come forth. Keep trusting God.
Shalom.
Thanks Yania for sharing your testimony!
Concerning the Biblical Job, when I Googled – Biblical Insights about Job – I found this one particular article that I think is important to share:
“I have felt that because the Book of Job is probably the most misunderstood book in the Bible I should say something. Job is intended to challenge everything we think we know about God. Job challenges our traditional beliefs and is, at its core, an argument about the varsity of those beliefs. At some point there is a need for people to justify God’s actions in allowing Satan to destroy Job’s life by attributing some kind of sin to Job. Thus, we are able to maintain our belief that suffering is the product of sin. If Job is guilty of sinning, despite both Job’s claims of innocence and God’s own testimony that Job is innocent, we don’t have to confront a difficult truth about God: He is not what or who we believe Him to be”.
The story of Job can be summed up in in the words of Paul in Romans 9:14–23:
What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”
It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. For Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.
One of you will say to me: “Then why does God still blame us? For who is able to resist his will?” But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’?” Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?
What if God, although choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory.
Not what we want to hear, but it is the echo of what God tells Job in 42:11, “Who has a claim against me that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to me.” This is Job’s epiphany at the end of the book when he says, “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes” (42:5, 6). Job is not repenting from his sin; Job is repenting because he has demanded that God explain Himself and justify Himself to Job. “Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?”, God asks Job in verse 41:8. The word repent used here simply means to have a change of mind. Job, after seeing God, changes his mind about demanding an explanation. Job understands that God does not owe him anything: even a reason for his suffering.
God does not condemn Job for his questioning or wanting an explanation for why God has ruined him (2:3). In fact, God says that Job has spoken right about Him (42:8). On the other hand, God does condemn Job’s three friends for not speaking the truth about God. What is interesting here is that most Christians still believe and would agree with Job’s friends. If God isn’t answering our prayers it is because we have not confessed our sins, or God is punishing us. But, Job challenges those beliefs—sometimes we suffer to bring God glory and not because we have sinned.
Job, like many Christians today, had heard about God, and thought he knew God, but realized that hearing about God is not the same thing as seeing God and being in God’s presence. Job asks us one very important question: Do you have the courage to allow God to be God, and to love Him even if He is different than we believe Him to be?
And on a different note, Emory, in regards to my request, thank you for reposting those past testimonies from Mani, Ibrahim & Hassan. I have read all three. Each one was deeply moving, thus proving how all three Muslim men have suffered – Much Like Job – to escape from their own Islam Indoctrination and convert to Christianity. Especially Hassan’s testimony, having endured food poisoning, beatings, chains. prison, disability, rejection from family & friends, illegal threats,
being pursued from one end of the world to another – All redolent of the Job suffering.
Hassan’s story, so long and detailed, well-written much like a compelling novella, and with a staggering 169 comments to follow! It took me more than a week to finish reading them all, but I persisted in taking my time, fully savoring every insightful word. Absolutely amazing!
So Emory, in referring to your log of past testimonies, you said, “I need to do some organizing so as to surface some of the very moving testimonies from the past. I have a list I’m working on, now”. Just so you’re aware, I’ve been reading so many testimonies, I keep hitting the Load More Posts button, and going further back to the older stuff. So are all the 1500+ testimonies actually posted? And if I keep hitting the Load button, will it lead me all the way back to 2004, when you first began this blog? Anyway, I love reading all your stuff, keeps me very inspired!
Dittos, thank you Yania for sharing this story!
Gary, I’d be interested to read more of the article if you want to share the source. I am glad you are finding encouragement in the testimonies. Yes, theoretically if you keep doing the “infinite” scroll with Load More, you will get to testimony #1 (mine :)) back in 2004, but you may want to start with one category at a time (Salvation, Prayer, Relationships, etc.) and work your way down. It might be easier that way. The Conversion category may interest you because that’s where you’ll find most of the stories from people like Mani, Hassan and Ibrahim. I know what you mean, it’s hard to stop reading sometimes and you can really get drawn into hearing directly from people what God is doing in them. I’m so encouraged and amazed by some of the stories that I thank God for the privilege of being able to read them. I know that a lot of people probably will never see the stories we see from average everyday people who act in faith. Thank you so much for your comment. You’re an encouragement to me.
Emory, regarding the Job article I shared, it didn’t actually come from an article, but came from a short reply to the question of Job’s suffering.
The source. also.
I’m sorry that I didn’t include all of that before. If you have the time, you might want to read all of the answers, some are most insightful about their understanding of the Biblical Job. I hope that helps. And as you suggested, I will check out the Conversion category of your blog, as well as with reading through just one category at a time, that makes better sense. I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts to share as I continue making my way through them all. Thanks so much!
Gary, thanks, I’ll check those out. Let me know if you find anything worth noting, corrections or whatever please.
Yania, I just prayed for you, too. You have learned the secret of getting through… focusing on God and others. When we focus on our circumstances, they become our god. But when we focus on the true God and do what He says, He is glorified and we see how we fit in His world. Thanks for your honest sharing. Mike…
Whenever trials and tribulations come my way, I reflect upon what Job said–“For He knows the way I take and when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold!” (Job 23:10) This is always my “go-to” verse of encouragement!!!