My name is HOPE!!! I am TWO YEARS SOBER!
I am extremely sensitive to my experience I am about to share.
December 31, 2019. New Year’s Eve! I was at the Foundry. I had been there about a month. I was still trying to adjust and accept that I had to stay if I wanted to be reunited with my kids. I was willing to do anything to get back to my babies!
It was an ordinary morning of 5:30am wake up, chores, roll call and class. We had a speaker this morning, Rachael Cannon. I had not been interested in any of the classes, etc. But Rachel captured my attention. She asked if anyone needed prayer. I’m thinking absolutely! Whatever she had…I wanted. Lol, she was on fire for God.
I waited my turn. She asked what I needed prayer for. Of course, I said, my children. It was hard being away from them.
She began praying, I instantly felt the spirit working through her. All I remember is she laid hands on me and started to say a protection prayer over my body and mind. I went to my room got on my knees and sobbed. It was the first time I felt God, really God’s spirit with me in a very long time. I felt relieved.
I went outside to wait for the second van for work and started feeling “funny”. I walked over to Amber Collins. I was trying to smoke a cigarette, but my vision became blurry. I couldn’t focus; my equilibrium was off. I told her I didn’t feel well. She said let’s go to the office. I vaguely remember high stepping to the office.
From there on I checked out from my body. I went into a few seconds of seizure. Then from what I have been told I snapped out of it and was full-blown into spiritual warfare. I was screaming, growling, hissing, seeing demons, talking in a demonic tone, quoting scripture, and screaming God is real. I was in a battle of good and evil. Finally, the EMT came and gave me two shots of ketamine to calm me down and took me to the hospital.
I woke up in the hospital. I was very confused. I didn’t know why I was there and what happened. I thought I was dreaming. I was scared. The doctor comes in and asked how I was feeling and basic questions. He said, “you were talking a lot about God and the devil.” I’m so confused.
The nurse tells me my cousin Jodie Patterson Smith is coming. And tells me that the only thing I have said for the hours I was there is that THE DEVIL IS PULLING MY HAIR. Jodie and Dianne Cleckler Patterson come to pick me up. I tell them I had the strangest dream. That’s when they let me know it was real.
It was the first time in my life I have heard about spiritual warfare. I walked backed into the Foundry with open arms. I was shaken up. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing in my “dream” did actually happen. I wondered if I was going crazy, lol, but I’m like nothing has ever happened to me while I was doing drugs! I didn’t understand it.
I was scared. I tried to act as if it didn’t happen. It was too much for me to process. I slept with my Bible every night. All I knew was I needed to cling on to JESUS. The more I grew spiritually the more I could grasp what happened. Although, it’s still hard if I really think about it. I was willing to do whatever it took to be delivered. We all have oppression in our lives at some level. I am very thankful for the people in my life who helped me: Tawana Pendley, Donna Moore, and John Bucciarelli. They invested in my recovery. I am blessed to know them.
Had I not had that personal experience; I don’t think I would have truly believed in the different spiritual realms or true demons. I felt God fighting for my soul. I remember seeing the devil and I remember holding my hand out for Jesus. So, when I say God is real and he will fight for you…it’s coming from personal experience. And that, my friends you can’t argue with.
I am far from perfect, and I still have my struggles…BUT…Jesus touched my life. And I will never be the same. All I know is GOD IS REAL. GOD WILL FIGHT FOR YOU. He doesn’t call us to be perfect. I have to humble myself daily. I give God all the glory.
Zephaniah 3:17-20 NASB 1995.
The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.