I went through a lot in my life always looking for love in men and got rejected so many times. Now that I am older I feel dead and although I am trying to build a relationship with God I can’t feel happiness inside me..
I attend women camps but I crying so much and I can’t open up telling our groups why. I am like a freak when it comes to emotions. I was in a relationship with a guy for 4 years and 6 months and he never told me he loves me. Financially he was very good to me but I felt lonely and I fought for his love but messed up more than being successful. There were no boundaries between his kids and me. I had to fight them myself because he did not want to get involved. He gave them weapons to treat me the way they wanted too. I still did not run away.
There were days when we was very happy and that I thought he loved me. We broke up 3 times accordingly to him always my fault. I could never let go and fought him back into my life. I know I was not the reason and was emotionally not treated right. Again he invested so much in me moneywise and always thought it is his way of showing love. He and his daughter don’t believe in God they believe in evolution. The big bang. He did not care if he speaks harsh to you in public and everybody can hear. There was a lot of incidents. The last break up was now a few weeks back.
I went on a business trip and we were okay. He suddenly went out every night with his friends and I was wondering why. When I asked him about it he starts to ignore me two days before I have to go back. He picked me up at the airport took me for coffee and told me its finally over. I miss him so much its almost a month now. I cried randomly during the night, cry myself awake and to sleep.
During the day when I think of him. I really love him so deeply was prepared to be the humble one it might be something else “rejection” again or I felt like the one who messed up. I text him and he said we can talk and see how we can fix it and the day before we suppose to meet he send me a text and say that he decided not to talk and that he made up his mind finally.
He ignores me as if I never exist. I am really really broken and I don’t know how to feel God, I do believe I am just so tired and dont feel if I will find happiness in myself ever again. I so just want to get rid of the pain and the missing and want to feel happy again in myself so I can be open to someone God want me to be with. I am full of anger and mixed emotions….
Firstly, thank you for sharing your testimony. If you read this just know that opening a truth about a situation in your life is something very encouraging as many people can relate. Today, there are many distinct meanings of what love means. In the world, finding the truest love is like searching for gold treasure. However, with God, you already found someone who knows everything about you and cares so much about you. From my experiences, he is the only one who provides true and everlasting love. My advice is to meditate on Gods word and trust in him. Pray and devote more time with the heavenly father in order of relieving all your worries. John 14 v 1 – Do not let your heart be troubled. Jeremiah 29 v 11 – God has plans for your life and your future. John 3 v 16 – You are loved. Hope this encourages you. God Bless.
This man obviously didn’t treat you well. Stop submitting yourself to a fallen man and his fickle emotions and submit to God and His love. Get a Bible and read up on God’s love starting with John 3:16, 1 John 3:16 and all of chapter 13 in 1 Corinthians. I understand that you are grieving and being in a relationship for so long and having it end can be hard. But you submitted your self and your emotions to a fallen man who was, as you said , an atheist. Submit your mind, will and emotions to Christ and ask Him to cause you to feel His love for you. Gods love is the only love that truly fills us and answers the call we have in our hearts. God loves you and remember that you’re not alone when you have Him. : )
In Jesus name I pray for healing in your heart and mind.
I pray that your eyes will become fixed on Jesus Christ and that you will have a wonderful relationship with Him.
He loves you.
Praying for you dear, in Jesus name Amen
Keep reading the
Hi my name is Danielle. I want tell you that it’s going to be fine, and there are more fish I the sea, and that you should feel hurt because God got you. But then I would be lying. But remember that for all the bad days ahead, good ones are sure to come. I speak from experience. I was in a relationship for two years, knew the guy for 6 years, he was my best friend. Then he cheated on me and it felt as if my world fell apart. I did drugs, I hurt myself and the ones who loved me because I didn’t want to fell. So I didn’t. Then God came to me one night, and I felt if I didn’t get my life together right there I never would. So I prayed, to him. I told him my problems and I give it all to him. And it didn’t get better at first. It was hard to get out of bed some nights. But eventually IT DID GET BETTER. I don’t want to lie and say it will happen over night because it won’t but faith keeps me going that one day it has to get better I refuse any other options. So all I can say now is pray, know that the pain you felt Jesus felt for you when he died on the cross. This is your cross bear it. It’s going to get better, it has to.
All I can tell you is cry all you want but cry to your Creator, your Father to come in to your being to reveal himself to you. This is a terrible thing to feel and it hurts and since you probable have never had an encounter with GOD and you don’t know him yet. Ask him to touch you to embrace you as a mother would embrace her child that is hurting. He loves us so much that our hard headed mind doesn’t understand this but the Christ in you does. LOVE his love is pretty hard to describe with earthly words. Just ask him and wait for the holy incounter to lead you . Go into youtube and visit Dan Mohler
Love you my child.
1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm; be courageous; be strong.
The one who stands firm to the end will truly be saved.
Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.
If you believe you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.
but when you ask, you must believe and not doubt because the one who doubt’s is like the wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind.
for with God nothing shall be impossible.
the same way you want that man to love you and put you first and as a priority God wants the same thing from you He is our Creator put him first and you will truly find happiness <3