Hopeless

I feel so grateful for I have found this site. I have read a couple of the testimonies and it strengthens me to know God works for real. I am in a terrible situation. Just last year I was blessed with a scholarship to study abroad. I was ecstatic especially because just months before I was down since I couldn’t afford school fees at the local universities.

Actually at that time I had gone down with depression, typhoid and amoebiasis all in one package(devils mail) At just eighteen my life had crumbled I had stayed indoors talking to no one, eating almost nothing. I was 18 but I guess I looked 10. The depression got so bad that I developed an alter ego, taena who was completely opposite of me, she was beautiful, healthy and with a stable job. By then my joints ached so much sometimes I couldn’t stand it.

Being a naturally secretive person, I never told anyone about what I was going through. Instead I wrote it down and cried my heart out. I tried praying but my heart felt empty and I didn’t feel the connection with God. Then I got the scholarship and for the past one year I cannot deny that I have seen Gods wonders and mercies in my life-from good performance, to having friends(a rarity for me) appetite and the zeal to live. That was until recently, The bosy that offers the scholarship is suddenly not giving it anymore.

I am trying to be strong but its hard, Here I am stuck in a foreign land stranded and not knowing what to do next. I haven’t even told my father as he is hypertensive and I don’t know how he will react. I feel so alone and depressed as I cant afford to study as a self sponsored student. all I wanted was to study and go back to Africa and help my people. I know God has a plan for me. I have faith that next time I will be writing a testimony. Take care of your selves and above all may God bless you.

7 Comments

  1. Gail 4/2/2010
  2. george 4/10/2010
  3. kristin 4/15/2010
  4. karenn 4/15/2010
  5. nadia 4/16/2010
  6. abhishek xalxo 4/27/2010
  7. minz 5/6/2011

Leave a Reply