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Hopeful or Hopeless

I was baptized on Palm Sunday in 2006. Ever since, I have been struggling with many issues in my life. And almost to the point of giving up. I have prayed and asked for forgiveness for my backsliding, and it feels like I can never reach the point of spirituality I had in 2006.

In 2006, I experienced happiness, sadness, every possible obstacle that I could bear. Some were victories, others were losing battles, all were overcome with the help of the Lord in Jesus Name. Right now, I’m struggling with my life, whether its financial problems, mental and physical health problems, I just can’t seem to overcome them.

I have thanked the Lord graciously because I know my situation could be much worse and have prayed for those suffering tremendously. I “had” a little inkling of hope that maybe one day the Lord would remember me and bless me with the strength to make it. Every day, it’s getting harder and harder for me to deal with.

I pray, but I don’t experience the spiritual connection I had with God in 2006. It feels like what I have done or said for that matter is unforgivable and therefore shall not receive any reprieve. I understand suffering is a way of life…your weaknesses are glorified in the Lord. I understand that Christ died for our sins.

It’s the “feeling” that I can’t overcome my situation, that drags me further into the pit of hopelessness. My prayers seem futile in comparison with the sins I have committed. When the loneliness in this world becomes unbearable, I have always believed in turning to the Lord for understanding and strength. But when that doesn’t work, and all of your prayers go unanswered, what can I do?

Thanks for taking the time to read my testimony. It’s not a testimony of joy, but nonetheless it’s my testimony.


  1. Jesus 6/20/2011
  2. jane 6/25/2011
  3. Theophilus 7/9/2011
  4. Theophilus 7/9/2011
  5. christine roland 7/12/2011
  6. michelle 9/28/2011

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