Hope and Faith

My father told me that his favorite quality about me is how real I am. I have always respected what he told me growing up, despite how different I am from him, and I think God used my father as a tool to help me become the genuine person I have become. I think it is a quality that makes it easy to talk to other people about anything. At the same time, I never deny the Christian I am, and I never condemn someone I come face to face with; no matter what they believe. My parents raised me in the church, and I guess because I never once doubted the Word of God when I learned something new about it, my faith has been my Rock. It never falters, no matter how hard some of the challenges in my life have been. Don’t get me wrong – I have gotten angry with God plenty of times, but I never doubted that God would pull me through. I think that has also lead to me not being very good at ever being someone I’m not. My wife will tell you; I am a terrible liar. If I have ever tried to tell a little lie to my wife about whether I went to a movie or not, or went out late last night and bought a burger, or any other little trivial thing, my wife has always been able to call me on it. So about 97% of the time, I just avoid lying about anything altogether.

What I want to say in this testimony is that God has used various events in my life to bring me closer to Him, and strengthen my faith in Him that much more. Although I do remember actually publicly accepting Christ as my Savior when I was twelve years old on a youth retreat, that has not been the turning point of my walk with the Lord. I would have to say that my urge to talk to others about Christ surged when my wife and I were going to have twins, and we lost one of our boys about six and a half months along in the pregnancy. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to overcome, but instead of doubting God or Christ’s love for me, I became Inspired. I mean it literally came out of nowhere while I was in the hospital room at my wife’s side; family and friends coming to visit as we waited to see if our other little boy was still going to make it.

There we were talking with my parents, and I just took out a sheet of paper and started writing a poem. It was a poem about hope; a poem about family; a poem about love. It was a difficult time for my wife, more so than for me of course, but I just chose to handle it by writing. The following Sunday, while my wife was still in the hospital, I went to Church. I spontaneously walked to the front during the Altar call, and I asked the Pastor if I could read my poem to the congregation. He perused it, and said of course.

So there I was, in front of 800 people or so, and I spilled my guts right there with the words that God had put in my heart. Again, I know not why I handled the loss of John Robert Fort that way, but I think I made a lot of people cry in the Church that day, though that was not my intention. Now that I still have my little Miracle, my son Jay who was born June 20, 2002, I look back on that time and I still can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have his brother here with us. But here are the words of hope that I wish to share with the world:

A Perfect Picture

Can’t you just picture it?
A little boy with a golden smile
Plays baseball for a little while.
His daddy teaches him to ride a bike.
He goes with his family on mountain hikes.
Then he gets a little older”
Can’t you just picture it?

Can’t you just picture it?
A middle-school boy, with that same golden smile
Goes on Youth Group trips for many a mile.
He tells his dad what he learned about God;
Even says he understands why dad never “spared the rod”.
Then he gets a little older”
Can’t you just picture it?

Can’t you just picture it?
A tall young man, with that same golden smile
Cries with his dad at the end of the aisle.
He sends a smile to his mom before the doors open wide
And his beautiful bride stands by his side.
Then he gets a little older”
Can’t you just picture it?

Can’t you just picture it?
Another little boy, with an identical smile
Looks down from heaven all the while.
He sees his brother play ball and ride a bike.
He delights in seeing his family on a hike.
And he waits a little longer”
Can’t you just picture it?

Can’t you just picture it?
The same angelic boy with the golden smile
Stares down from the clouds in Angel-like style.
His heart fills with delight “cause his brother loves God.
But his brother seems bigger, and he finds this quite odd.
And he waits a little longer”
Can’t you just picture it?

Can’t you just picture it?
The same angelic boy with the golden smile
Sees his brother, now a man, walk a lady down the aisle.
He has a smile across his heart, just bursting with pride
As he sees his brother carry away his bride.
And he waits a little longer”
Can’t you just picture it?
Can’t you just picture it?
A boy and a man with identical, golden smiles
See each other for the first time in a long while.
The man lived his life while his brother watched from up above
Yet now they are together in brotherly love.
No need for waiting any longer”
Can’t you just picture it?
In memory of John Robert Fort

March 15, 2002

One Response

  1. pigduck 9/26/2008

Leave a Reply