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Heartbroken

It’s been a month since my boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up. We got into a huge argument one night and it got so bad we both hit and pushed each other. He walked out the door and never came back. For about a week straight after he left I continuously called and texted him trying to apologize, but he ended up blocking my number. I went to his job and apologized and told him how much I missed him and needed him in my life, but he told me we couldn’t be together. He told me his parents disapprove of me and so does his friends.

He was my first and only boyfriend I’ve ever had, and even though we argued a lot it was mostly because of me and my attitude. I was always rude towards him and took advantage of him and made him do everything for me. I feel so horrible about the person that I ‘ve been to him, and I only realize it now that he’s gone. When he left I was so miserable and heart broken that I cried out to God asking him to bring him back. I confessed all of my sins to God and asked him for forgiveness. I even asked my ex for forgiveness and he told me he forgives me and will always love me, but we can’t be together.

It’s been a month and I’m still hurting just like I was the first day he left. I still cry every day. I still pray for hours each day asking God for healing, restoration and guidance. I see no changes and no chance of him coming back. This situation has taught me so much in just a month. My relationship with God has never been stronger, and even though I trust in God, I still get discouraged every day. I feel so empty and lost and I feel like God has abandoned me but I continue to try my best and have faith anyway.

Whether God brings my ex back or not, this situation has taught me so much. It’s impacted my life so much. It’s brought me closer to God, and even though I see no changes in my life and I feel like the more I pray the worse things get, I am not going to doubt God. There’s a reason he’s putting me through this. And I know he will bring restoration and happiness someday soon. Right now it’s hard for me to even imagine moving on without my ex. I’d give anything to have him in my life again. He accepted me at my worse and I long so much to show him how much I’ve changed. He desrves my best! But regardless of what happens, if God brings him back or not, I will continue to have faith and trust in God. I know God loves me and wants the best for me. And even though I don’t see a way, I know that God does.

2 Comments

  1. Merry 10/6/2014
  2. Life Dream 11/1/2014

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