Walking by faith and not sight.
In 2015 I turned 21. I just wanted to have fun. I’m not proud to announce this but I left a toxic relationship, dated a married man, dated a couple guys, got pregnant and had an abortion.
The father influenced me to get it but I was so weak that I did. In April 2015, few weeks after the abortion, I experienced my first outbreak. I was officially diagnosed in July of HSV1 and HSV2. Worst nightmare of my life. Felt like I was dying on the inside from the symptoms and depression. Thought about killing myself. I didn’t tell anyone but an ex from years ago that I trust so I’m battling this alone basically. I searched high and low for a cure. I got scammed out of $2000 for a cure in Africa. I decided to take the medicine but it only made me sicker so I stopped.
I knew there has to be another way out so I turned to the Lord. I read on the Internet that God heals all disease and will heal me without medicine. He died on the across for our sin and sickness. It was extremely hard because I lost my way as a Baptist when I was a teenager so I didn’t know much about God and his word.
I read about building faith and emailed others who I met via Internet that went through the same thing and currently healed. Since 2015, I got back into church, I gained faith, lost it when I didn’t see any results, gained it back, doubted, got discouraged, fell in deep depression, got myself together and gained more faith. It was a roller coaster for me. I came across a ton of helpful articles to help me get through it.
In September 2017, I found a website where I had to decree and declare that I am healed. I said it everyday until I felt in boldly in my heart that I am healed and if I didn’t see results physically doesn’t mean I’m not healed spiritually. I felt like I had my last outbreak that same month because I went 2 months without any signs or symptoms. I was happy and myself again. I thanked God everyday. I said my healing scriptures everyday.
Well this week, Wednesday night after work I called the 700 club prayer hotline so they can continue praying for me as well before getting my final results from the doctor. I got home from work Thursday and noticed something was wrong. It was another outbreak. I found it crazy that I was just prayed over and now this! I broke down and just wanted to jump off of a bridge. I asked myself is this my fate, am I suppose to die with this? Another part of me thought to myself is this apart of the devil’s plan to put me back in doubt? He sees God working on me and getting closer to my breakthrough so he trigger another outbreak.
I prayed my hardest last night, praying that I’m spiritually and physically healed. I promised God I will give my testimony once I see my negative results. But I shouldn’t have to wait on a report, I should believe the truth of God’s word regarding my healing. I won’t be moved by what I see or feel but the truth of words, that I am healed.
Everyone please keep praying for me because everyday is different and gets harder. I pray I receive my blessing spiritually and physically so I can live again. Being healthy is a wonderful feeling and I miss it. I hope my testimony help and encourage someone.
