I just came out of the military few months ago. I felt compelled to share my testimony regarding to an incident that happened when I was in the military.
Back during December last year, I suddenly found out that I was sexually violated by a fellow soldier (both me and the assaulter were medics in vocation). This incident happened few months back and I don’t have any recollection of it until I suddenly found out. They called this PTSD in which one of the symptoms is loss of memory.
When I found out I was sexually violated, instantaneously I can’t believe for myself that something like this would happen to me since this is obviously sinful and I won’t allow this sinful act to happen. I felt dirty at that point of time. I did report this to my superior and investigations were conducted.
Also, being a guy and was sexually violated by a guy, I felt quite inferior of myself because I am a guy, I am supposed to be strong according to social norms. How can I let such things happened to me?
Due to investigations, the investigators are professional but due to their professionalism, they have to ask me hard questions in which I broke down because I have to face the shame to a stranger in which I do not know of and its embarrassing and tormenting to recall the incident and tell the investigator. However, it was through the investigations that God reminded me that, yes even though I am deemed unworthy for myself, God looked past this and says that He loves me even though of what’s happening. Through this, I knew my identity in God and understood the fact that God loves me no matter what circumstance I was facing or what my past was.
In summary, if I were to look through this whole incident, I would say that no matter how dirty one’s past is, God looks past that and loves us for who we are. He walks with us no matter what we are facing through in life. Through this, I am also thankful that God helps me to cope with this incident and begin to heal my trauma. I am sharing this to encourage those who are facing problems and who feels they are worthless in their eyes to focus on God who gives us eternal life.