I was raised and lived in the small city of Hobart. I lived in a non-Christian household. I always went to catholic schools, so I had a basic idea of what Christianity was.
Even though my family seemed to be a normal, loving household I spent seven years of my childhood seeing specialists and visiting the hospital every three weeks. Two weeks before my eleventh birthday I was told that my condition had passed, and I would never have to come back.
A few months later in the September holidays, my parents told us they were getting a divorce. Throughout the years I discovered many things that led to my parents’ divorce including several court cases. Both of my parents were battling through severe depression.
Soon after returning from those September school holidays my music teacher asked me to stay back after class. The next thing I knew the teacher pushed me up to the wall and did things to me. I ran out and never told anyone, I was so scared. Because of my parents’ situation I was alone and had no one to talk to.
My Mum and I started becoming distant. She began internet dating, sleeping around and letting all her anger and depression out on us kids. She would threaten to kill us and would cut herself in front of us. My mum became a person I didn’t want in my life.
During my Primary school years, I was constantly bullied. I was called fat, ugly, and worthless, that no one liked me, and I was a waste of a human life. This eventuated into my high school years as well. It led to a form of depression and anxiety.
At the age of twelve I started becoming consumed with image and looks and as a result I developed bulimia, which is where one binges on food then forcibly vomits it up. But this was not just playground bullying, it came from my Mum’s family. I started to hit rock bottom. As I went to high school became friends with the popular girls who saw getting drunk and being horrible to others was the lifestyle. I gradually became unstable and was put onto medication. Soon enough I was addicted to the pain killers, was overdosing and mixing them with alcohol.
I started to become suicidal and cutting myself in between my legs. Most nights I would sit there in the bath and watch the water become red. One day I lost too much blood and was rushed to hospital on attempted suicide. I attempted suicide 3 times.
On my third attempt I saw one of my cousins who visited me and asked me to go to church with her. I was reluctant; I was not into the church scene. However, I then began to see God work in my life and start opening up doors. On an Elevation conference later that year in June I first encountered Jesus. I felt as if I was safe for the first time in my life.
I began reading my Bible and found Psalm 18:1-3 which has been my foundation for my journey. It says:
I will love thee, O Lord, my strength. The lord is my rock, and my fortress and my deliverer, my god, my strength in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy of praise so I shall be saved from mine enemies.
I still was struggling with depression in the early days of my journey, but with the grace of God things became easier. After a few months of being a Christian my mum started to disagree with me going to Church. We started fighting and I told her the things I have been dealing with and what the teacher did to me and I also confronted her about what she was doing, but she didn’t believe me and kicked me out. Since then I have lived with my Dad.
Last year my Dad had serious health problems and became very sick he was told he might die. He had to lose at least 40 kilograms if he wanted to live. So my uncle and I decided to help him lose that weight, he did. Last August I had a health scare, I was rushed into hospital as I had ovarian cysts which had erupted and I was going through the initial stages of TSS, Toxic Shock Syndrome.
Since then my mum and I started talking. In the last 6 months we have started becoming close again.
On December 16, 2012 my Dad was arrested and he might be facing a jail sentence which we are yet to receive and I will have to live on my own. But I am satisfied knowing that God is completely working in my life at the moment and that my Dad will receive the help he needs.
In the beginning of my journey, I read Jessica’s Story about a girl who went through a few of the things I went through. One thing she said was that over time God had broken me, cleansed me, repaired me and healed me and then built me back up again. I have felt God do this with my life and experienced his transforming power and feel so blessed to have been saved in his name. Jesus Christ is my salvation, my redeemer, my fortress and everything in between.