If you are reading this then I believe that it’s not by chance. I come from a Hindu background and got saved two years ago. God completely transformed me from a reckless/irresponsible girl who loved to party and waste her time on pleasing Friends to a worshipper of Yahweh!
The journey till my baptism was smooth… but the moment I took baptism I became an enemy of Satan. Bible states this fact in 1 Peter 5:8-9 that he is our enemy. I just wanted to worship God and get to know him more, I thought now life was full and everything will be fine. I made friends in church and continued in fellowship with them.
A guy and I started liking each other and we began dating, we were together for 7 months until a day came when the Lord showed me and him that this wasn’t right. We broke up. It was one of the biggest blows to me after becoming a Christian.
I came to this site and started reading testimonies of girls getting back there partners and believed that Lord would do that for me as well. Although I was going to church, praying and reading Bible regularly the incident and circumstances slowly started gripping me from within. My prayers became just repetitive blabber, sometimes I would just cry out without words and sob. People’s words would hurt me and I would start looking at myself through those words.
The Bible says your tongue has power of death and life. The words of people crushed me from within and I become fearful of people. I started running away from people, if I would see anyone coming near me to talk I would mentally confess he/she is coming to condemn me. I didn’t know that I was gripped in fear all this while, there was so much that was happening that I just stopped believing that I could ever come of this. I would ask people to pray for me as I thought my prayers would never get answered. I started hearing tormenting voices in my head and out of shame I could not let anyone know what I was going through.
Satan doesn’t want us to know who we really are in Christ, he uses same tricks i.e. lies to put you down. He started speaking to my mind all negative things which are contrary to the knowledge of Christ.
For about a year and a half I struggled with hidden fear/self condemnation and brokenness from my relationship. But our God is faithful:
2 Timothy 2:13 If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.
Even when I was walking in fear he reminded he’s faithful in his love for me. Every passing day I understood that I cannot fight this battle myself as I needed him and his Holy Spirit to overcome. If you are going through brokenness due to any relationship issues, know that his plans for your life is good. Jeremiah 29:11. He will never take away anything from you which is meant for good and is in his perfect will. If he has taken away wait for his best. Don’t be a Sarah who didn’t believe in God’s promise and asked Abraham to take slave women and have a heir. If you are having doubts and tormenting thoughts in your mind, fight then with the help of the Holy Spirit and the word of God. The word of God is the most powerful weapon..
Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
Fear is an access point for Satan. Don’t allow him to have a hold over your life, resist him. If you are attacked in your sleep or dream, plead the blood of Jesus over yourself and speak over Psalms 91 before you sleep and believe that he is protecting you. He has given you the power to trample scorpions and snakes underneath your feet.
I praise God that he has opened my eyes and shown me his love. My only prayer is that everyone who reads this is benefited and blessed by this testimony. If you need any help or any prayer please write it in comment section or email me at manbhu121 at gmail dot com