I have always thought I did not have a testimony worth sharing. I guess that’s because I do not have a big story to tell – a dramatic story of transformation in my life. After all, I was raised in the church and was baptized before I was ten years old. In my world, I was surrounded by fellow believers – from my parents to church members who obviously lived out their faith each day. My decision to be saved was made during a Sunday morning service at a small, historic Methodist church my family and I attended each week. I remember the moment, though, as if it was yesterday – “Just As I Am” was being sung as I walked the aisle to tell our pastor my decision.
With the foundation I was given, I had a pretty good moral compass throughout my childhood and into my adult years. I understood as a Christian, I was supposed to be “different.” I was not a partier, did not use drugs nor have I ever found drinking alcohol appealing. The world would say I was leading a “boring,” yet “good” life. On one hand I was trying to live out my faith (and do all the “right things”) and on the other hand I was painfully shy and probably a little socially awkward. I was just different all around! That led to others seeing me as an easy target which meant I had to endure a lot of bullying, teasing and name calling. Starting in my teen years, I learned to be mentally tough out of necessity. I coped by pretending I was better than everyone else – perfect in every way, I thought. I wanted to prove the negative influences in my life wrong. Outwardly it appeared I had – academically I did well in high school, paid cash for my first car and got accepted to my dream university.
My motivation in life became obtaining worldly “success.” Inside, though, I was not a happy person. I felt lost and completely unsure what to do with my life. I had no purpose nor direction. My ego was my driving force. I was living for me rather than God. I was allowing arrogance to mask the hurt, loneliness and stress I felt. However, for many years I believed I was doing all the “right” things to get into heaven. I hate to admit it, but for too long my Christian life revolved around professing my belief, attending church and being as active as I could be doing God’s work. But something was missing.
Fast forward to the first few weeks of my junior year of college when my life took an abrupt turn. I attended a local church’s revival and heard a sermon that reshaped my walk with the Lord. I do not remember the specific text of that sermon. What I did come to understand that evening was the sin of pride stood between me and my relationship with Jesus. I walked the aisle once again and rededicated my life. Through the teachings of that pastor, I found a sense of humility. I also found hope, peace and contentment. All along the missing piece in my life was not having Jesus as my constant companion, friend and director of my life.
Since I totally surrendered my life to Christ, I have lived by Proverbs 3: 5-6:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” (NLT)
I cannot imagine going through life without seeking God’s direction. I yearn to live a life He intends for me. I have conversations with Him every day – desperately wanting to know His will in all situations. I could go through a multitude of examples of how submitting to Christ and continually seeking His guidance through prayer has positively impacted my life. I know he directed me towards a personally fulfilling career and found ways for me to advance into different positions within my profession. He said, “Be patient” well before I got married. And, I’ve seen His work in raising three children into adulthood who love God.
While my story may not be dramatic, I believe my testimony is a powerful, yet simple message of hope for anyone. God wants to know each of us personally and expects us to surrender our lives to Him. Once I did, it was quite freeing to realize God has everything under control – I just had to learn to trust Him. Sometimes I wonder what direction my life would have taken had I not listened and opened my heart to hearing His voice. I am not saying everything is always wonderful. I make mistakes and bad things happen to all of us. I am just blessed, humbled and thankful to know He is with me all the time through every situation. And why? I only had to admit I am a sinner (being prideful), continually ask Him to take the reins of my life (I pray every day he guides my path) and stay focused on serving Him as my Lord and Savior.
Early on in my life I somehow missed the importance of having a personal relationship with Jesus. It’s not that I was fighting Him, I just did not know any better. I was not focused on nurturing my faith; therefore, I was not maturing as a Christian. Oh, how I wish I had the wisdom then as I do now. But I also realize my story continues. I believe my Christian walk is a journey, so I strengthen my faith by studying the Bible, find ways to share what He has done in my life with others and seek to draw closer to Him each day. I challenge you to share your story too. We all have unique ways God has changed our lives. And, if He hasn’t changed your heart yet, I hope my story helps you to understand you don’t have to do life alone. You only have to ask Him to transform what IS to what He wants for you. Let Him in. I promise, you will not regret it.
Bob, I was very much moved by your story and the transformation God worked in you. We are growing in our faith and knowledge of Him, continually being conformed to the image of Christ.
Your testimony was definitely worth sharing. By becoming a Christian early in life, you avoided a lot of sins that would have later resulted in bad memories and regrets, and possibly much worse. We need to consider our relationship with God every day and in every situation.