God has changed me radically, and His work with me isn’t finished yet. He is changing me daily, renewing me in the spirit of my mind, purifying my wicked heart. I had a troubled childhood. I was in bondage to a certain sin all throughout my childhood. It took away my innocence.
God had been in the background all my childhood and adolescent life because I was raised in convent schools from grade 1 to year 12. I did not have a personal relationship with the Lord and all my family were buddhists and idol worshippers.
Growing up, I became very independent and self-sufficient, somewhat a loner. During my high school years and tertiary studies, my family was not with me, I stayed on my own. My friends were few and there was a girl whom I would accompany to attend sunday mass with at the roman catholic church. I was very worldly at that time, I cared very much for the worldly things like shopping and looking good, there was an emptiness and deep sadness in me, life lacked any meaning. I felt disconnected from friends and family and did not allow anyone to get too close. I wanted very much to be baptised into catholicism, to believe in God (thanks to my catholic schooling), to have a spiritual life. I waited for the inward feeling of readiness before going ahead. Then things began to change when I moved out of hostel into my new place of accommodation. I got to know my landlady and her family, all of whom are pentecostal christians. I was still attending the roman catholic church at that time.
But it wasn’t long after that they invited me to their church and that’s when my life began to change for the better. God revealed Himself to me in a special way. I could feel His presence in the service, there was a sense of peace and love that I’d never felt before at other churches. Through associating with this family, I discovered many things about God. His goodness, grace and mercy. He has richly blessed me ever since knowing this family. Til this day, I am very grateful for them. Praise you my God for bringing them into my life. I obeyed the waters of baptism a year after.
After my salvation, I was still caught in the bondage of the same sin that controlled me since childhood. I loved God but this sin continually threw me into a state of self-condemnation. It was 2 years later, after much trials, pain, tears and prayers that the Lord delivered me from it completely. I praise and thank God for His mercies. He has also radically changed my perspective on many things. He makes me want to reach out to others and love them. I used to be disobedient and disrespectful to people but God is teaching me obedience and love. I still have my defensive tendencies but the Lord is teaching me to trust in Him, not in man. He has proven to me that trusting in Him I will not be put to shame. There is nothing to lose when I put my life in His hands. He is in charge and He will not let me fall.
Lately, the Lord has also delivered me from my anxiety and fears, encouraging me through His word and through others. Bringing me into a new fellowship where I can grow like a watered garden in the spring, the Lord abideth faithful to me, though I haven’t always been abiding in the shadow of His wings. I love God more and more each day and I can say that He is God because no one is able to make me feel this way, He has transformed my life, and is transforming me into the image of His son. I will rejoice forevermore for the Lord has set me free. Praise God!