I can’t help to thinking fault I have done recently, and I am depressed. I am weak now. I feel that I need to split out the darkness within me then I can rest truly. I think I had a bad childhood. Things happened at that time had great influence on my life now and there are three main matters depressed me: my parents always fought each other, and my mother always gave venting to me. I felt I was surplus at that time. She loves my little brother far more than me.
The second thing is: I saw my parents having sex when I was young. And that gave me tremendous shock, which led to the third tragic that I had sex with my two cousins and a friend. I was just 11 years old. We all considered it as game and played it many times. I was not virgin any longer.
Before I chose Jesus as my Lord, I was living in a dark world. The only thing for me is to survive rather than live. Everything was gloomy. But now, my family all believe in Jesus. Something changed. I no longer hate my parents. I began to think in their sides, learning to love. But something stumbled me.
I was addicted to lesbian novels before I came to my Lord. I can’t give up it, what’s worse, I began to think that I am a lesbian, but I know it is wrong. Lesbian novels led me to pornos. I saw dirty novels and finally made masturbation. I can’t deny that comfortable feelings. Things turned out that whenever I was upset in real world, I turn to porno for help. Masturbation makes me happy for a short time, but after that, I am lost in a more gloomy world.
I am ashamed of what I did, and I am sorry for my Lord. I try to analyze my behavior, I know the past influences me. I cant forgive myself for having sex with my cousins and friends. And I am lonely. I am lacking in confidence, which makes me afraid to make friends. I really want to talk to someone about my past, and I want some advice! I don’t want to commit sins any more! But what should I do?
In this website, there was a woman named Sylvia that said a few words that actually helped me with my current condition:
Pray for God to come into your life and show you what he wants you to do. Sometimes we pray for God to change situations and then we get frustrated when the situations does not seem to change. Focus on God and not your situation and he will change how you see the situation. I know that sometimes life can feel full of problems, but if you keep your mind focused on God and not your situation he will fix your situation. I know because he did it for me and I know he will do it for you.
God Bless
Pray,Believe,and Read the Word of the Bible…God bless you and you family and remember Jesus loves you no matter what.
Pray for God to come and guide you. Read a lot of God’s word and pray. The word of God is light and when u begin to take it in , light fill your body and drive out sin. Prayer allows you to fellowship with God. Pray also that you may receive the Holy Spirit…he will guide you in all things.
Ask the Lord for guidance on your situation and speak to a leader at your church if you go to one for help on what to do with your situation. You should really talk to someone about your issues too and they can help you understand how to resolve them. Ask God to give you someone who you can talk to about these things in your life that have been really hard. Pray for a real friend and pray that God will lead you to a place you can go to talk about the past. Seeing a professional will help, its helped me and thats why God gives us these qualified people, for use when we need them! Xx
Pray for Lord to change you and lead you into a new life.Sometimes you might feel that Lord is far away, do not give up because once you seek Him, you will find Him.When you knock His door, the door will be opened for you.Remember Lord is always with you.Since your family now believe in Jesus, gather them together and ask them to pray for you.Believe in Lord because Lord bless the person who do not see yet believe Him.Read the Scripture and you will find it a guidance of your life.
Ask God to take away all things that are unlike Him. Ask for guidance and deliverance. He will help you and lead you, but you must want it in your heart. Have faith, pray, and keep your head up. God’s got you ! (:
Things from our past can easily effect our present, and our future. Let me speak from experience. Whatever you think about will be given life… Whatever you dwell on will have power over you. The word of God tells us to set our minds on things above, not on things on earth. The very things that torment you are not of God… So don’t dwell on them. When we accept the Lord as our savior, we also ask him to come and live in us. We have the spirit of God living in us! So speak light to the darkness that has you bound! God is bigger than your circumstance! He knows where you are, and you can be delivered in Jesus name. It’s one decision at a time… One word of life at a time… The past is the past… Those things that haunt you are not of God! So dont give any more attention to it!… Allow God to heal your childhood! Be free! Focus on Jesus! He holds the key to your freedom! I will be praying and BELIEVING with you!
Father in heaven you know every need. I pray and speak life to this situation! (((praying)))
I agree. Your past sins have been forgiven you; don’t dwell on them. What is important is going forward.
Your determination is a good start. Burn those idols (lesbian novels etc) & start a close walk with God. Daily prayers,reading & meditating on His Words can help to keep your eyes on Him. Remind yourself that you’ve been bought by His blood and your body is not your own to please. And, yes, keep asking for the Holy Spirit to come to into you to teach,guide and help you overcome.
We can’t forsake sin without His power or do it overnight – it is a life-long spiritual battle won by putting on the whole armor of God (helmet of salvation, shield of faith, sword of the Spirit -Eph 6:16-17). If you fall along the way (as we all do), get up and fight back – confess, ask for forgiveness and for more strength to overcome.
Talking to someone about your past can help you to “let go”. If you can’t find anyone you can trust, just share it with God. At this stage,you need people who can build you up spiritually & not tear you down (eg by condemning or spreading tales of your past). There will be plenty of opportunities to bear testimony to His grace and power later.
MY DEAR SISTER GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH………FIRST UNDERSTAND THAT..DON’T TELL YOUR PROBLEM TO ANY BODY….SURELY THEY WILL DISCOURAGE YOU…..SIT ALONE AND PRAY AND READ BIBLE…….SURELY GOD WILL SPEAK YOU THROUGH THE WORD
Someone told me today to “watch and pray” (Mark 13:33)
To watch, in this case means to knowledgeable with a biblical perspective. And pray. Be in your situation, and take everything you feel and are going through to God. Take it all to God and exchange what the the bible says about how you feel with how you’re thinking (based off of how you feel).
I went through a lot of this a year ago, and I thought it was over. I remember feeling like I was right where I needed to be. But just when I thought I had control over everything–I made mistakes and have needed to continue in this way to remind myself of who I am in Christ.
Sometimes, you just have to encourage yourself. Know that the enemy’s goal is to condemn you. Mak you feel guilty. But God says he tosses our sins into the lake of fire through the righteousness we obtained through Jesus Christ. So fear not! Only believe.
I love you with the love of Christ.
Ask the Lord to help you.
Know that the Lord has not forsaken you, and just wants to help you no matter how dirty you feel.
Know that no matter what you do, Jesus will still love you and save you.
The enemy tries to convince us that our shame and sin makes us not worthy of approaching Jesus/salvation. Whatever you do, please don’t believe this lie. Ask God for strength to pull through… For He did it for me, a former masturbator since childhood and addiction to porn (1.5year). It may look utterly hopeless, but don’t forget:
1. Your salvation is secure
2. He loves you no matter what