Here I am! I said I’d post about the works of Jesus/God in my life for my upcoming bar exams (to qualify as a practising lawyer) – regardless of how my paper went (to be honest I honestly don’t know how it went – I almost have a dreadful hunch that i might have failed ):
Background to this (Company Law) paper:
This particular examiner is infamous for ‘if you fail to mention X, you FAIL‘. He has incredibly harsh marking. It didn’t help that Company has always been the most painful topic for me, that the theories didn’t link up like all the other topics (Criminal, Land, etc) did.
My paper was at 2pm today. Yesterday evening I looked at the past year questions and the answer scheme & thought to myself, ‘man I am so screwed for this exam’. The answers on the answer scheme felt like someone just pulled a rabbit out of a hat – I still couldn’t imagine myself coming up with those answers at all.
I didn’t work as hard as my past papers in the last few years, probably because this was an open book exam, and I didn’t have to memorise cases. That also meant that I was even more ill-prepared, content wise.
So this morning, I opened my daily devotional book, which told me to flip to Psalms 141. I flipped open the bible randomly and it opened up at 140 (which was the least I had to flip in years before I got the right page/went to the contents page)
My daily devotion read, “I never lead you to do something without equipping you for the task.” I felt a sense of comfort, but probably too much that I went back to sleep and only started reading the rest of my content for the first time. I couldn’t really focus either. I didn’t panic, and I walked into the exam hall, and took out a random sheet of prepared answers covering the topic on Agency.
So many things could’ve gone wrong. I prayed for wisdom, mercy, grace, that in my second year of undergraduate, I did not understand what the question of my leaked land law paper meant, two days before my land paper, but things started to make sense the night before, and I was running out of time. God gave me one of the questions, in my dream. I woke up with a feeling, ‘go and study this. for an essay.’
I prayed for Jesus to hold my hand like He did during my Financial Regulations paper in third year, where I had little content to go about writing, a high risk that the limited questions I prepared for would not come out, and Jesus took my hand and answered my questions.
This morning, I shamelessly prayed for guidance. I was worried that I would run out of time. In the end i finished 20 minutes early. I identified the 3 crucial issues correctly (Although I might not have dealt with them the best).
“For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” Proverbs 2:6
That was a miracle in itself, for I have only grasped the content this morning. I prayed to Jesus to give me the knowledge to know what areas of law the question is testing.
The only worry I have now is, God is fair, I have, admittedly, been lazy, overconfident, passively boasting about my past successes, being complacent as this is an open book exam. I was meant to advise my client, Jiro, but ended up forgetting to address HIS criminal liability completely (even though I discussed the crime). I wrote a few redundant lines in the paper.
I’ve been reading posts about God granting favour in the eyes of the examiner (even when you least deserve it). i never deserved God’s help in any of the last 5 years of exams, i had always left it to the last minute (And His grace and mercy and love). Never had I walked out with this dread that my little mistakes might cost me a pass/fail grade. I feel shameful and, I recognise that exams aren’t everything. I don’t need to pass, although it is required if I want to practise law.
And so, God performed miracles in my exam – I understood and idenfitied the correct issues, but I wasn’t writing the most precisely accurate and correct things.
I came home and opened my bible randomly. It turned me to Proverbs 4: The Benefits of Wisdom. After reading that I turned my head to Proverbs 3, which really struck me.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know.” – Proverbs 3:5
“Remember the LORD in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.”- Proverbs 3:6
“Never let yourself think that you are wiser than you are; simply obey the LORD and refuse to do wrong.” – Proverbs 3:7
As for post first paper, I’d say the takeaway is: I can find comfort in the fact that I should not rely on my humane calculations on whether my writing cost me a grade, for Jesus said in Matthew 19:26 “”With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
“For we live by faith, not by sight” – 2 Corinthians 5:7
I shouldn’t think that I would know how the exam went. I had hit all three major points, with mistakes in the paper that I pray to God that He will grant me favour in this examiner’s eyes. It is highly unlikely but, i do need a miracle, that Jesus has performed in all the testimonies that I’ve read here, as well as in my own life.
“The Lord was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favour in the eyes of the prison warden.” Genesis 39:21
Despite everything that has happened, I feel a sense of calm. A slight dread and doubt in my answers but,
“Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” – Nehemiah 8:10
God knows my specific worries – which answers/lines I wrote/failed to write that I am worried about. Like how I started my walk with faith – I am going to give this up to God, for Him to handle. Give my troubles and worries up so I can prepare for my next paper with this promise in mind:
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
(I’m still lowkey worried because – the paper wasn’t difficult. I could tackle the questions. But my answers could’ve been better and Jesus I pray that You work miracles – this would actually be a miracle.)
Fingers crossed – I know I don’t deserve this the most but I am hanging off God’s grace and mercy like I do every year (the song amazing grace comes to mind as to how and why He would love a wretch like me), hoping to pass, knowing that (a) I don’t deserve it from the lack of preparation (b) from my written mistakes.
Results will be out in June, I will be posting about tomorrow’s paper in the next 24 hours. Thanks for listening guys (:
God I’m worried.
- wrote the wrong thing / irrelevant thing about Ko not being a local – criminal liability point
- didn’t write about Jiro’s criminal liability
- not sure if i should’ve wrote about Jiro being de facto director
- didn’t write 157
- could’ve missed out cases
- para on being sacked could’ve been better
God please help me rectify my mistakes, grant the examiner favour in my papers.