I wrote a post here a couple of months ago when I was in huge, continuing anguish and upset about church (see: https://testimonyshare.com/not-belonging/). A number of people kindly replied and prayed. I want to write an update here about how good the Lord has been to me.
I found it very difficult to do, but I made the decision to stop going to church and haven’t gone for a number of weeks. Since I made that decision I am so full of joy! Songs of praise to God just rise up in me for freeing me from this terrible burden. It has been weighing me down for a long long time. The Lord has been so close to me. His presence is so sweet to me, and His Word. The Holy Spirit is blessing me so much in the Word of God, showing me how real and dependable the Love of God is, that He loves me in spite of my being unable to fit in and belong with people in church.
What an amazing kind, good, generous Father we have! His ways are so much beyond ours. I feel like I’m alive again, that I have something to look forward to. It has always been my greatest dream as a Christian to walk as close to the Lord in this life as is possible, to know Him as well as it is possible to know Him in this life. He is GOOD! There are no words to explain how understanding, wise and kind He is. I am glad that He will rule and reign over everything for ever and ever. I am so glad that He cared about us all down here so much, that He didn’t send His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to condemn us, but to save us. He wants us all to be saved. Every one. He doesn’t want anyone to be lost.
I don’t know what will happen in the future, will I go back to a different church? I don’t feel able at the moment. The whole thing has been a battering, bruising experience. When I’ve had time to heal, maybe I will. But I trust in the Lord. He is faithful and He will show me what to do.
Today as I write this it is a Saturday… and I’m enjoying it, praise God! Normally Saturdays I felt low and upset, dreading church the next day. Each Sunday I felt like half a person.
But God says, “You don’t have to be accepted by people to be accepted by me! I LOVE you… to me your voice is sweet and your face is lovely”. He shows such cherishing love.
I love You Lord!