I come from a very humble background however, regardless of the circumstances, me and my siblings went to very good schools by the grace of God. Miraculously God always provided school fees that all of us were able to complete High School level.
Life was going the way it was “supposed” to, Nursery, primary, high school, university, job, marriage, and live happily ever after. That was the plan and so far, everything was going on well until Covid. Myself, I started university pursuing a bachelor’s degree in law. However, due to Covid 19, I couldn’t continue with school, so I had to drop out. I had never imagined the reality of ever dropping out of school and its impact in full. I first took it lightly with the belief that I would be able to join the next year, but that didn’t happen, so I started getting depressed. Seeing my colleagues finish and graduate, I drowned more in the shackles of depression and desperation.
Among other things, one thing I thank the Lord for is that during that time, he nudged my heart, he put this strong desire in me to seek him, a desire I have never known. Whereas most people end up using drugs, alcohol, etc. God was very kind to me through all that pain. I committed myself to seeking him. Never went to church but God led me to Billy Graham sermons. I came to love the lord anew. I took delight in reading his word. I built a new personal relationship with him. It’s in that time that I have ever felt closest to God and literally the best time of my life.
However, the more I enjoyed all that, the more I lost all hope in life. Gradually the only thing I wanted was to die and be with the Lord in heaven. But as a Christian I knew suicide was a sin, so I made it my only prayer every night, pleading with God to take me and never wake up. God is very faithful; I cannot tell when the seed of hope was sowed again in my life but slowly by slowly, I started giving up on my desire to die and started telling myself that probably God had a purpose for my life.
I asked God for a job; mostly I wanted to be a house maid. I was ready to start from scratch once again but also, I was also sure my classmates would never know that those were my circumstances. I was scared of the rebuke. But God had other plans, he got me one as a waitress at one of the best hotels.
What a wonderful testimony. you know, I have heard alot of Christians especially after giving their life to christ, that all the want is to leave this world to be with him. But just like Bonnke will always say “God save us to save others.” I think that intention is rather selfish, what about the perishing sinners, we are called to be witnesses. That’s why even Jesus prayed that God should not take the disciples out this wicked world, but he should protect them.
Your testimony is a beacon of hope for anyone facing similar struggles. It reminds us that even in our lowest moments, God is with us, guiding us, and providing for us in ways we might not expect. Your faith and perseverance are truly commendable, and your story will undoubtedly inspire and encourage many others.