While I was fasting, Holy Spirit told me to write this testimony to help others. I grew up in Europe in Catholic environment, but I was lost. For me it was more about traditions than personal relationship with our God. 7 years ago, I moved to United States, gave up my professional job, got married, had kids. My life turned upside down.
After long period of stress, worries, loneliness, dealing with friends’ sickness, death in family, my son’s behavioral problems, failing marriage I developed anxiety and panic disorder. Fear, worries, stress ruled in my life. I was constantly worried how I felt. If I am going to faint, die, loose my mind. It was all I was able to think. Medication was not helping. My heart was racing almost all the time.
When I reached deep bottom, I started reading bible and praying. And one day God talked to me for the first time ever. He told me to find church. On Sunday we were there. The first sermon was how God speaks to us!
During next months my life was changing. My husband and I got marriage counselling. I was able to deal with panic attack and anxiety much better, but they were still there. I didn’t know why. During the fasting God revealed me I don’t need to worry about being good enough for him! That was it. Before I missed the point. I was trying to “get points” from God for my actions. I felt guilty because I was failing God daily. I wanted to be perfect, but it is not possible.
My faith was getting stronger. The biggest thing was that I learnt I can’t trust my feelings, understanding and thoughts. Trust your faith inside your heart. If bad thoughts, fears and worries come don’t pay attention to them. Just trust your faith and know God is with you and these thoughts never come from him. God always wins.
It was and is long process. I still have anxiety and panic, but I don’t let them lead my life. When I feel it coming, I just trust in God and pray in the name of Jesus for strength and trust in him with all my heart. I am actually thankful for my panic attacks because they brought me to God. Maybe my anxiety never goes completely away and I don’t want it to go away. It takes me to God and shows me his power. He is always with us.
Andrea I’m so blessed by your testimony. I can relate to a lot things you’ve said. I am glad that God is helping you through this. Thanks so much for your encouraging words. God bless. Love Zoe.
Hi, Im struggling with my thoughts as well, with my understanding & just how I feel. & my mind is effecting my whole body.. I backslid from God 4 almost 3year’s & I just forgot Him & lost my way completely. I kept sinning & sinning knowing it was wrong. & I tried googling ways to help me but nothing helped cause most of those articles I searched were about backslider’s have no hope of returning or they were never saved 2begin with… I am terrified & scared. I MISS WHAT I HAD WITH GOD 3year’s ago, better yet I want 2 have a better relationship with him than I had then. The word I confess with my mouth positive my mind just gets louder with negativity, saying its no use, my heart is still hard… Please Pray 4me. Stand in agreement with me so that i can be free. I repent last week Thursday 4all my sins buh I havn’t felt that loving touch I know should be there when God saves u. I am so sorry 4ever gng astray… Please keep me in Prayer.
I will pray for you Thami. Please don’t give up. Start with one small step of obedience and trust. Don’t force yoursef to be good. God already approves you. I know how hard it is. It took me 13 months to get close to God. Also, when my healing started I had horrible setbacks. I was even thinking about hurting myself. It’s like devil knows you are getting closer to God and is trying to control your thoughts. It is a sign you are on the right way.
Zoe_Selah you are so kind! I feel blessed my testimony helps people.
I Feel Like This Is Exactly What God Wanted Me To See….. Exactly…Thanks And Continue To Rest In God’s Love For You Knowing He Has You In His Arms …God Bless
Thami,
G-d heard you and loves you and has forgiven you. that coldness is simply not feeling worthy of His freely given gift. Andrea’s testimony is so similar to what I have gone through and felt. Accepting that G-d is greater than any emotion, any pain, any sin.. That He already has you in His heart and your prayer of repentence is heard and lovingly embraced is an ongoing process. The enemy tell us the lies that we could keep ourselves from being where we are today, from needing to repent, but G-d meets you where you are and looks only to how your past can touch someone’s life for the better in the beautiful future He has planned for you.
Be blessed, Sister.
If you could all keep me in your prayers as I am dealing with a difficult time with anxiety & depression. God bless you all. Thanks.
Hi Betty, the sure cure for anxiety is not to try to focus on getting rid of it but if you establish a personal relationship with the Lord in trueness anxiety will have to take it’s flight. For where Light is, darkness cannot stay. We cannot overcome, He overcome for us:)