Hey everyone. I’m always posting on this site, because I’m in the process of getting to know God for real. I just want to say a couple of months ago I found the strength to leave a EXTREMELY abusive relationship. I’m only 25 and this relationship cause me to lose SO much… cars, my family, you name it.
During the 4 years I spent in this relationship, I did some horrible things that I beat myself up for daily! I definitely lost myself, I hated myself and even most for having a child with this person. I feel for my child because I now know what kind of person his father is (spiritual). He’s trapped with one of Satan’s smart conniving spirits! I had a strong Soul Tie with him. As much as I tried to leave him the more I would get beat, stalked, kicked – you name it! Oh But I kept calling on the LORD. He even had me doubting that God loved me!
I used to be angry at everyone. I was deep in the VALLEY. I made horrible decisions. Looking good on the outside but broken in the inside. The world was moving but I wasn’t.
God must of felt that I was really tired, because he bought me to the right place. My aunt’s church which is at her home. What GOD did for me that day is what got me yearning to know him more and more. He broke that SOUL TIE! She prayed over me for an hour until I was released in the name of GOD! Whatever had a hold on me wasn’t giving up easy you guys! I couldn’t believe those evil spirits had driven me into depression, self hatred. I didn’t want to live… many will never believe what took place at my aunt’s house. I was screaming and trying to remove her hands from my head while she prayed over me. I really believe that whatever was attached to me didn’t want to leave me. I was so scared! I just want to share my story but many will look at me like I’m crazy. I’m a true witness of Gods power! I knew it was God that ran those spirits away because after I felt such PEACE. God sent those fallen angels back to the pits of Hell. You guys, when I was free I felt the power of peace, freshness! Pure and New!
One another occasion I even had the pleasure of feeling the Holy Spirit. During prayer I had to jump up and give God the Glory! I never in life thought I’d be feeling things like this ! All I know is that is HAS to be GOD. I was running and jumping, thanking him for what’s he’s done. I cry so pitifully every time I think about how God STILL loves me even after all my sin against him. Most of all I’m grateful. I ask myself “WOW” God really does love me. I can’t believe how blind I was to the truth. Now that God has forgiven me, I’m trying to forgive the people who did me wrong… it’s so hard. I just wish I could start over.
As time goes on I find it harder and harder every day. Because I’m realizing that this world is so wicked. It really scared me. As I’m changing day by day, I’m surrounded by my friends and family who most are “Blind too” so I pray for them. I feel like I’m going to lose them because I’m really trying to change. They make fun of me when I speak about the good things God is doing for me. I want to live righteously in his sight. I told them I’m not drinking anymore and they call me boring and think something is wrong with me. I get mad but I have to realize that they haven’t felt what I felt … they just don’t know. I’m not perfect but I’m really trying.
I just hope God keeps my mind strong for this battle because it’s hard. Also asking that you all say a prayer for me and my child. I’m going through legal issues with the father and he seems to be winning, but I’ll continue to keep faith. Amen