I am writing this in hopes that God will use it to glorify Himself and further His kingdom.
My name is Katherine, I am 17, and this is my testimony:
My testimony has a lot to do with the fact that I didn’t have a very good ‘father-figure’ growing up, and how God used that longing for a father’s love, to rescue me from Hell. I grew up with an abusive father and until about my freshman year of high school, a completely distorted sense of self-worth and a totally shaded view of God.
Until I was about 15 and my life was flipped on its head, I thought of God as some far-off being. I figured that the maker of heaven and earth most likely didn’t have time for me. I also saw myself as completely worthless and a waste of time and space, so I wrongly presumed that God didn’t want me. Until the day, Valentines of 2012 to be exact (oh the irony), that my parents split, and my father was kicked out of the house and my life.
Without any father figure in my life, I was totally lost. Whatever sort of relationship I had previously held with my earthly or heavenly father went down the drain. I became furious with God and demanded to know why He had hurt me like that. Why He had abandoned me, and why He let my earthly father do the same.
Yet somehow, miraculously, through that anger, I went to the bible for answers. I started praying and keeping a prayer journal. I started seeing God for who He really was, a loving, ever-faithful father who wanted me, a dirty, broken, deeply scarred sinner, to be His daughter. That was the day that I realized what grace was.
That was the day that I realized that grace was looking around in total awe and amazement that Jesus wanted you. That was the day that I realized that God was not some theory or far off being to be called on when in need. No, He was my father. My, a sinner’s, father.
The girl who all her life had been told she was worthless, had now found a purpose. And the girl who had been rejected and abandoned by the person she loved the most, her own father, had now been made the daughter of the King. That moment was the moment that I will forever pinpoint and say,
‘There. That is when I met Jesus. That is when my life changed.”
And by changed, I mean my entire outlook on things had shifted. I no longer saw things through eyes that were clouded with depression and suicidal thoughts. No, I now saw that I had a purpose, a meaning, I had a worth, and that someone had thought it worth their time to create me. I saw that God only works for good. That His love is so great, that it doesn’t need to show itself through protection from suffering.
No, this love was something different altogether. This love would let the suffering of my current situation bring me better thing later on. This love would give me hope for life after death. This love would fill my longing for a father’s love.