This testimony is to glorify God and to hopefully help others. I do not want or need pity or sympathy. When everything else fails, God does not fail.
Psalm 100:5, For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.
I was adopted at birth and a short while later went to live with grandparents. My adopted parents fought and partied often. They divorced when I was about seventeen months old. My dad remarried when I was around age three and I lived with them for a short time. I had a new mommy and that was great. There was some physical abuse but mostly mental/emotional. I still loved my mommy as I called her. I wanted a mom so bad. I think all little girls do.
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
Later they divorced and I went back to live with my grandparents when I was six years old. My dad remarried when I was around eight years old. I stayed with them a couple weeks around age eleven. Then back to my grandparents. Later they divorced and my dad got back together with his first love from before I came into the picture. I stayed with them a few months then back to live with my grandmother. By this time my grandfather had passed away.
At age thirteen I had some family members touching me inappropriately and at fifteen I was raped twice by another family member.
I started dating at age fourteen and married the guy at age sixteen when I was pregnant. He was jealous and controlling. He was mentally abusive. I cheated. I thought this to be the perfect revenge. He got a better job, we moved to a better apartment and we were getting along so much better. He was better to me. I started feeling really guilty and had to confess to him all that I had done. Then we divorced. Well, revenge really worked out great for me didn’t it?
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and he will avenge you.
I started sleeping around thinking that would ease my pain. Later we did get back together and remarried. He held a grudge and I couldn’t seem to do anything right. I didn’t cheat anymore on him. Later it started to get physical and a couple months later we divorced. This time we did not get back together.
I moved and started a new life of partying and sleeping around. I was getting rid of my pain. But the pain still was there. Later I started stripping and making decent money. Finally I could live on my own without a roommate. I started drinking almost everyday.
Later I had a good job with benefits. I stripped on the weekends. I had my own home. I was remarried later to a guy who was abusive. That didn’t last long. My drinking kept increasing. I got into a lesbian relationship. I was finished with men. My drinking increased to the point of losing my job with benefits. Later I moved away. I lived close to my adopted dad and I felt he and his first love who he is married to, were too critical of how I was living my life. Too bad I didn’t have Jesus in my life.
I was told that my grandmother and another family member prayed for me a lot. Even though I lived a very sinful life I do believe that God was always watching over me even though bad things still happened. Many things were my fault and some were not. I know that He has always loved me.
The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
I know God has great things planned for me.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Matthew 5:45, So that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
I left the world of stripping and got a decent job and I met the man I am now married to. I still have troubles but that is another story. One of the first things I did was tell him all about my past. I wanted him to know what he was getting into. He accepted me anyway. He wasn’t judgmental about my past. This was and is something that I am not use to. Even I am judgmental at times and I don’t even realize it. The Lord is working with me on this and other issues. Praise the Lord! He is good!
I grew up in a Baptist church. I knew about Jesus but I didn’t have a relationship with Him until years later. Then I started backsliding and God rescued me when no one else was there to help.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.
I didn’t have what most people call a family while growing up and still don’t. I don’t have what most people consider friends. Friends for me never lasted. Friends for me equal insults, jealousy and judgment. God fills my needs. He has always took care of me. He hasn’t blessed me with earthly riches or the ways I have wanted to be blessed. I have very little in earthly things. All things in life are temporary. Heaven is forever. I have always had shelter, food, sometimes less and sometimes more. I have always had clothing for my body and shoes for my feet. The most important thing I have in my life is love from God. I also have God’s forgiveness. He takes care of me. I am very blessed.
Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
But first seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
I have many sins and God has forgiven me of them all and keeps forgiving.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin.
2 Chronicles 7:14,
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear them from heaven, and forgive their sin and will heal their land.
1 John 1:9,
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.
As it is written: There is no one righteous, not even one;
God can take any situation and turn in into good to glorify Him and give us a purpose.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I am wonderfully made.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Whenever I turn to Jesus He will not ignore me.
All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.
As long as I will stick with Jesus no one can take Him away from me and no one can take me from Him.
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.
I try to forgive everyone who wrongs me as soon as I can. Sometimes this takes a while. God is working with me on this issue. I feel blessed to share my testimonies about Jesus. I feel so much relief about this one. I feel wonderful. Thank you Jesus.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
I am a new person in Christ and He will continue working on me to make me into the person He wants me to be. Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus!
2 Corinthians 5:17,
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
I fail everyday to please God but I keep on trying.
For the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I have a permanent home waiting for me in heaven and I will be with Jesus forever.
My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
I have saved the best for last because God is the best!
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Acts 2:21, And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.
It is written: As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,’ every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.
To God be the glory. Amen.