Addictions? Get Addicted to Jesus!

I am currently writing a book called, “FOLLOW ME! I’M LOOKING FOR HEAVEN! MAYBE WE WILL FIND IT TOGETHER!!!”. One of the chapters is called, “ADDICTIONS???=GET ADDICTED TO JESUS!!!” If you are interested in a copy of the still-in-progress book, please contact me at: 905-228-9973 or kenmathewson@cogego.ca. Below is my testimony on addictions:

MY TESTIMONY

KENNETH JAY MATHEWSON

Proverbs 23:21
For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.

I am now 56 years young, and I found a Personal (Born-Again), Relationship with GOD in my early 20’s. I smoked my first cigarette at the ripe age of 7, (thought I was going to cough up a lung), and became addicted at age 16; experienced my first intoxication at 14, (thought my stomach was coming up); smoked my first joint and cocaine at 35, after separating from my wife of 13 years. I thank the LORD for not allowing me to become addicted to the marijuana or cocaine. My liquor addiction apparently was enough for the enemy to take control my life.

In 1980, I was fortunate, (or unfortunate), to win a lottery for $100,000. My 8-year marriage at that time was on very solid ground. A hundred thousand dollars in 1980 was a large sum of money to a thirty year old. On the way to pick up our newfound, so-called fortune, I said to my wife, “we can’t let this money change our lives.” Well, she didn’t allow the money to change her life. I, on the other hand didn’t heed my own advice. Please read the following verses: (1 Timothy 6:10 and Matthew 6:24)

1 Timothy 6:10
10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
1 Timothy 6:9-11 (in Context) 1 Timothy 6 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 6:24

24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
Matthew 6:23-25 (in Context) Matthew 6 (Whole Chapter)

Please believe me, I have never hated nor despised GOD; however, I did err from the faith, and I was pierced through with many sorrows. The power of the mammon, (money), didn’t start controlling me, until a couple of years after the winfall.

In 1982, I quit my job and started up my own business. I opened up the first computer, video and satellite television store, in my small hometown of Fort Erie. To make a long story short, the business started reaping rewards within the first year of operation. However, I didn’t realize that the enemy was reaping my soul, at the same time. As I mentioned earlier, satan’s addictions are progressive. The money did become my first addiction, and that was the beginning of my spiralling downfall.

The next addiction that I encountered was the bottle. I found myself at the local watering hole, quenching my thirst with some of the enemy’s finest brews. Zombies and Long Island Ice Teas became my drug of choice. This started to become a very expensive habit, not to mention, the brain cells that I was frying. It also didn’t help my solid marriage. My wife put up with my late nights and my drunken stupors every night of the week. I’m not saying that she accepted my outrageous behaviour, but she did put up with the new me.

Prior to my drunken stupors, I had never considered cheating on my wife. Once Satan sinks his teeth into your soul, he takes over your mind as well. Any mind-altering substance will lower your inhibitions, as it did to me. He enjoys the taste of pickled souls, because they are much easier to devour. You cannot walk with JESUS on one arm, and Satan on the other arm. JESUS is a very jealous GOD! Satan doesn’t mind if you are walking with JESUS, he will attempt to steal you away from your walk with HIM. JESUS will still walk with you wherever your journey takes you, although HIS voice becomes silent, if you follow your will, and not HIS. The enemy will tug even harder on your arm, the closer you walk according to GOD’s Will.

Habakkuk 2:15
Woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink, that puttest thy bottle to him, and makest him drunken also, that thou mayest look on their nakedness!

Habakkuk 2:14-16 (in Context)
Well, the next tug on my left arm, lead me from the local watering hole, to the local strip bar. He didn’t warn me that the cost of drinking would skyrocket; however, he did mention that the scenery would improve, and he had lots of friends that he would introduce me to. As I looked around the dark bar, all I saw was lost souls. It didn’t take me long to become one of those lost souls myself. This is when my next addiction began. ADULTRY!!! To this day, I cannot believe that I strayed that far from my walk with the LORD. This addiction was a costly one. It cost my marriage, my business and almost my soul. Now I could tell you that the devil made me do it. In actual fact, he is only the tempter. I was the one who gave into his enticing temptations.

1 Thessalonians 3:5
For this cause, when I could no longer forbear, I sent to know your faith, lest by some means the tempter have tempted you, and our labour be in vain.

It was nothing for me to spend upwards of $1000.00 a week, in my new home away from home. As my business and marriage was going down; my bar tab was going up. The further I erred from my faith; the more sorrows were piercing my soul. My successful business could not support my expensive addictions for more than three years; and my solid marriage, fell apart after 13 years of wedding bliss. You know the wedding vow that you take on your wedding day that goes something like this: “What ever GOD joins together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:5-7
Well, satan is not a man; however, he was able to break the bands of my marriage.

Revelation 12:8-10.
9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

In Heaven, GOD does not wear a watch, nor have an earthly clock hanging on the golden walls by HIS Throne. Although, HE has 2 time zones in Heaven: HIS TIME, and our time. Please read the following verse from HIS Word: 2 Peter 3:8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 2 Peter 3:7-9 (in Context). I will explain how, HIS TIME worked in my life, as I was walking in the darkness of my will.

One night, after visiting four dens of iniquity, (strip bars), I found my journey had taken me about 45 minutes away from home. I had consumed about 20 zombies and smoked a couple of joints. After closing time, I found myself upstairs in the bed of one of the dancers I had been seeing. As I stumbled out of the door of the bar around 2:00AM, I could not believe the snow that had fallen and still falling. It was the worst storm of the season. There was about a foot of snow on my van and the roads had not been plowed yet. I was barely able to hold my head up, much less drive home in these conditions. After wiping the snow off the vehicle, I got behind the wheel and found myself praying to GOD, “JESUS, if YOU will direct me home safely tonight, I will never follow this lifestyle again.” Well, HE held up HIS end of the deal. The journey home that night took about 2 hours, which I do not recall one minute of the ride. I just remember walking in the door and my wife waiting up to tell me, that she could not put up with another night of my drinking or late nights any longer. By this time, I was stone sober and I was bouncing off the ceiling because I realized, it was not me that drove home that night.

Jesus Take The Wheel

She was so happy to hear of my vow to GOD that night; and once again, HE and she had forgiven me for my wayward travels. It only took 3 or 4 months to break my vow to HIM and fall back into my sinful ways. I didn’t think that I could fall any lower than my previous state of transgressions against the LORD, or my wife, but there was still room for me to fall lower. At least GOD answered my prayer on HIS TIME that night. Please read the following verses, and you will see that you cannot walk contrary to GOD’s Word and think that there will not be any consequences to pay:

Leviticus 26:21
And if ye walk contrary unto me, and will not hearken unto me; I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins.

Leviticus 26:24
Then will I also walk contrary unto you, and will punish you yet seven times for your sins.

Leviticus 26:28
Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.

This part of my story is still hard for me to tell, and understand, as to how I could have sunk so low. My drinking and womanizing took a turn for the worse. Within two years of my vow to GOD; I had left my wife; lost my business; lost my licence for a year on a drunk driving conviction; filed for bankruptcy; and attempted suicide twice; however, I had not lost my addiction to the bottle. I found that the drinking helped me bury my sorrows that night, but they still surfaced the next morning, with no solution to carry my burdens any further here on earth. So the devil had a solution for me. Why not take the easy way out, and your burdens will be removed forever? Well, a couple of times of over-drinking, I thought maybe satan’s solution may be the only way out. Drinking from the enemy’s cup can certainly distort your thought process! Twice, I attempted to overdose on pills, only to wake up the next morning on the floor, with those same pills as a pillow for my head. Both attempts, as the tears were rolling down my face, I prayed to GOD that HE would forgive me for what I was about to do. As I was praying, I was doing a death stare in the mirror, as I was empting the bottle in my mouth, thinking this would be last night and my suffering would be over soon. To this day, I believe that JESUS placed HIS finger down my throat, to avoid my untimely departure. It just wasn’t my time yet, nor HIS TIME to send me to the grave. THANK YOU JESUS!!! I WILL NEVER ATTEMPT TO TAKE MY OWN LIFE AGAIN!

In 1987, I returned back to my old job as a customs broker, that I had left 5 years earlier. My reputation had preceded me, and everyone in town seemed to know my life history; except for the suicide attempts. My drinking habit continued, and one of my fellow workers gave me the nickname, BIOM, (Bad Influence On Me). This handle was certainly well deserved and fitting, as I was starting to lead others down the wrong path. My walk was certainly not GOD’s path, and here I was leading others away from HIS path too.

Habakkuk 2:15
Woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink, that puttest thy bottle to him, and makest him drunken also, that thou mayest look on their nakedness!
Habakkuk 2:14-16 (in Context)

After a year at the Fort Erie office, I requested a transfer to a Toronto office. I thought that I could hide from my past, and just lose myself in a population of 2 ½ million people, where no one would know my business, nor care. That plan might have worked, if the bottle, (satan), hadn’t followed me to Toronto. My transfer took me to the Toronto Airport office, and within a year, another transfer to the head office. Unfortunately, my identity could not be hid, because of my lottery winfall. Seemed like everyone at head office knew of me, and my past reputation, that I thought I had left behind me in Fort Erie. About a year later, I left the firm for a second time and pursued a career on my own, as a customs consultant in Toronto.

Well, the money was rolling in again, so I could satisfy my drinking and strip bar addiction again. I was such a good client at one of the strip bars, that they would drive me home at closing time in my car and have someone else follow, just to make sure I reached my destination safely. They wanted to be sure that I would be able to frequent their bar the next night.

I used to come home every night after drinking, and prayed that GOD would deliver me from my addictions. HE always guided me home safely; however, HIS voice had become silent to my soul. I started believing that JESUS had left my side, since I broke my vow with HIM a few years prior. HE delivered me back then; why had HE left me to drown in the bottle now? My daily drinking and daily praying went on for more that 10 years, with no salvation in sight. Why wouldn’t HE answer my cries for help now? I needed HIM in my life more than ever!

Psalm 13:1
How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
Psalm 13:1-3 (in Context)

As I mentioned earlier, GOD does not wear a watch; however, He knew that it was now time, for HIM to rescue me from my torments and sorrows. I was drowning and going down for the last time. By the GRACE OF GOD, HE reached HIS hand down to rescue me just in time. I had reached the bottom of the bottle, and had lost sight of HIM. On August 18th, 1996, HE broke HIS silence and answered my prayers. There was nothing lonelier, than walking this journey here on earth, without HIS hand or voice to guide me. I am finally free of bondage and have HIS Light to shine on my path again. I will never snuff that Light out; nor walk in darkness anymore! PRAISE GOD! THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!!

2 Samuel 22:29
For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness.

Since that day, I read HIS WORD, (BIBLE) daily; and get on my knees to thank HIM for erasing my addictions/sins. HE can do the same for you, if you just call on HIM and trust HIM. HE is never too busy to listen! You could strike up a conversation/prayer, something like this:

JESUS, I know that I am a sinner and I have sinned against YOU; I ask that YOU will come into my life/heart, and take over the wheel; I submit my life to YOU and ask for YOUR forgiveness of my sins/addictions. Please direct me on the path that YOU would have me to follow!!!

When you pray, pray from your heart and not just from your lips. Don’t just pray when you’re in a valley, (when you are hurting or in need). Pray also when you’re on the top of the mountain, (when everything is going well in your life). Thank HIM always for HIS many wonderful blessings. When you have asked JESUS to take over the direction of your life; don’t allow HIM to walk in your shadow; follow HIM, and let JESUS lead you by the hand, and walk in HIS shadow. HE is the Light of the world and casts a big shadow; Never lose sight of HIS shadow; Carry HIS Cross; Read HIS WORD daily!

John 8:12
Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

Matthew 16:24
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
Overcoming Drugs – Williams Story
Testimony of Former Drugs Dealer – Guy Iannello

AMEN, THANK YOU JESUS!!!

6 Comments

  1. sam 7/17/2008
  2. ray 3/14/2009
  3. Niranjan Kanna 6/25/2009
    • Brandon Duncan 12/10/2016
      • Ken Mathewson 1/5/2017
  4. justme777 10/22/2011

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