Last year I was really struggling with anxiety, depression, self-hatred, OCD and BPD. I was always feeling hopeless in everything I did and would always cry myself to sleep. While in this state, I watched a lot of TikTok videos and my For You Page was normally filled with depressing content.
So, one day, I came across a topic called self-harm, I started doing that because I saw quite a lot of people on my For You Page do it as a pain relief. At first it started out as a small thing but eventually it became an addiction. I used to cut myself every day even though I wasn’t depressed. This little addiction continued until God used my mother as a method to get to me.
When my mom found out, I wasn’t angry at her for finding out and I wasn’t angry at her found shouting or questioning me. She started telling me about God and how he loves me so much and wouldn’t want this to continue happening.
I felt at peace for the first time. All the voices in my head became silent. My heart wasn’t crying anymore. I felt God’s presence at that moment and that’s how I accepted Christ in my life.
My testimony is not all great but the day I felt what real peace feels like. I knew I needed God. I no longer experience the symptoms of BPD and OCD like before. It’s much calmer now but I’ll know God is still working on me.