I feel really dumb doing this, but I just will because I know that I should.
I was legitimately saved like three months ago though I gave my life to Christ a year ago. But it seems like I’m never satisfied. I feel stupid, all the time. Like I have no right to even say that I gave my life to Christ. I feel like or I tell myself I have no purpose just because I don’t want to face opposition. Opposition as someone whispering in my ear that stuff like “he doesn’t care about you” and more stuff like that.
Sometimes, and this is few, I feel like I’m not really doing anything.
Like I’m being tossed about by God for no real reason. A little
demon activity here, a little revelation there. I have grown
complacent and at times get annoyed listening to Christian songs.
But i have so many problems. Like I’m impatient with God and don’t wait on him. Part of it is low self-confidence but then I am so proud.
I can’t understand it. And I haven’t been able to discuss this with God and I don’t want to talk to my Pastors. they scare me because they always quote scripture and tell me that I shouldn’t be feeling the way I do. I don’t want a quick fix. I don’t want somebody to tell me that God loves me except maybe if it was an angel but then again, I’m just thinking too much of myself. As if an angel would talk to me. I’ve started agreeing that I’m helpless but then I don’t think so.
Like I believe that this is just a phase and I know eventually I will get over it. I hate it. I think about this over and over. I just feel so useless, but I know that i allowed myself to think. But it’s hard to accept anything else. To believe anything else. I hate crying and avoid it. It’s like I’m always crying.
Is there anyone out there that has been through this?
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. Prayer just doesn’t seem like an answer. I’m not confident enough for a response, though I’ve gotten so many. I think that I am supposed to feel this way, but I am newly converted. And bam! It’s too much. Please I need some kind of answer.
i have been a christian for the most of my life and i can say iv felt what your feeling. some times when my life is going so horribly wrong i get angry at God and hearing christian music makes me angry too…but at the end of the day what helps me is to not so much focus on myself but focus on helping other ppl. We live in a world that is so self centred and we cause problems for ourselves sometime. Can i also say that you are so loved by God and you are so worthy of hearing angels speak and seeing miracles in your life. God cleary loves you and wants the best for you or i would not have been called to reply to you 🙂 ill definitly pray for you!
I have been saved for sometime now but not to long ago I went through what you are going through. I think as we get closer to God satan really works on us so we feel unworthy don’t let him bring you down refuse his thoughts and his influence but remember. Satan can’t hear you unless you talk out loud to him so I did alot of yelling and a lot of rebuking satad and his demons. Remember wear you armor and know that God is in control! I will be praying for you.
Hey man. I just wanted to let you know that I know what your going through, in fact I think a lot of christians know what your going through. Remember that the devil is the “father of lies”, and he’s tricky, he doesn’t want you to know that your bening mislead by Him in not believing you are all God says you are.
Now i’m not saying that you are choosing or deciding to follow the enemy by choice, this is his trickery. this is warfare.. I know that before I was really looking for God I wasn’t troubled by distractions as much, but now that I have acepted him, relationship with Him has its tests at times.. (I’m agreeing with Kandis.) The enemy doesn’t want you near Him.
The thing I’m learning right now is to speak God’s word out loud so that I can listen to myself say it, then I remember it better. i also declare it over myself in as a truth that way, so I know there’s nothing else that The Word is like a defense and weapon agaisnt the enemy. Since the enemy challenges the root of our faith and the way we see things (trying to torque our view of ourselves and things around us) the word is a great tool to know what God has said and done and promised for us.
I understand what it’s like not wanting to talk to a pastor, maybe you feel like you just want someone real to talk to, someone who understands and can sympathize and really help, without a lecture or something. Like a friend maybe. (i know thats my experience.)But I think Pastors can be our friend too, and are meant to be.
I think that one of the best revelations I keep relearning in my walk is that Christ is our friend, and father God loves us no matter what. It’s not how we say something, be it religious or performance based, but what we say and if it comes from the heart.
God wants are true hearts, perfect or not. and the enemies lies don’t stop the truth of what you are in christ, soooooo loved, a dear child of god. And you don’t have to think that because you have believed past lies means God thinks any less of you, remember, you are perfect in His sight thanks to Jesus. All your mistakes are overlooked and forgiven. so you don’t have to beat yourself up anymore.
this may help a bit, hopefully encouraging. Also, I suggest you to get some prayer from others in your church or with people you know that have been believers for a while. They have more than likely felt the same way at one point or another, and there is nothing to be ashamed of about asking for help.
“Let us then feel very sure that we can boldly (but humbly) come before the throne of our God, where there is grace. there we can recieve mercy and Grace to help us when we need it most” Hebrews 4:16.
bless you man, keep on lookin.
Dear Confused, Each one of the replies above carry a lot of good information. As for myself, I sincerely hope you return to this website and seek further guidance when and as you need it. I would like to ask you a defining question, because your answer would guide me in the direction where I could help you most. For brevities’ sake, I will ask you and hopefully your answer is ‘Yes”. Do you have inside your heart a vacuum for more information on God, in other words do you feel you need to absorb more learning about the Bible, Christianity, etc?
As I said, if the answer is ‘Yes’, you are in a typical growing and learneing phase of your Christian walk in the Kingdom of God. Picture a small baby, born in a world where all things seem strange and different. You seek to know and learn more about our Saviour in the hope that it will explain how you feel, and what is going on inside you. This is typical.
Every Christian goes through this learning phase for the rest of his Spiritual life. Yes, including me. The more I learn about Christ, I realize how little I know, yet I still desire to know more. It is completely normal. When a Child of God joins the Kingdom Christ brought to this earth, He did NOT zap us with a bolt of lightning that instilled the entire simplicity of His Word. We should strive to learn each day we can, just as a baby will grow, and leave his mother’s milk, to eventually eating meat.
You are in a fantastic stage of your Christan walk with God, and should be treated as valuable experience that you will be able to share with others in the future.
Yes, I could send you away with Scripture after Scripture, but that will come to you as you grow. BTW, I am an 68 year old Missionary that has been blessed to serve Christ on the foreign mission field, and have seen the Scripture not just explained, but come alive within my own experiences. Some of this learning didn’t come directly from the Scriptures, yet supported the Scriptures in it’s foundations, in other words proof of the Truth.
Blessings on you journey, my Friend.