I feel really dumb doing this but i just will because I know that I should
I was legitimately saved like three months ago though I gave my life to Christ a year ago. But it seems like im never satisfied. I feel stupid, all the time. Like i have no right to even say that I gave my life to Christ,
I feel like or I tell myself I have no purpose just because i dont want to face opposition. Opposition as someone whispering in my ear that
stuff like “he doesnt care about you” and more stuff like that.
Sometimes, and this is few, i feel like im not really doing anything.
Like im being tossed about by God for no real reason. A little
demon activity here, a little revealtion there. I have grown
complacent and at times get annoyed listening to Christian songs.
But i have so many problems. Like I im impatient withh God and dont wait on him. Part of it is low self confidence but then I am so proud.
I cant understand it. And i havent been able to discuss this with God and i dont want to talk to my Pastors. they scare me becaus ethey always quote scripture and tell me that I shouldnt be feeling the way I do. I dont want a quick fix. I dont want somebody to tell me that God loves me except maybe if its was an angel but then again im just thinking too much of myself. As if an angel would talk to me. Ive started agreeing that im helpless but then i dont think so. like i believe that this is just a phase and i know eventually i will get over it. I hate it. I think about this over and over. I just feel so useless but I know that i allowed myself to think. But its hard to accept anything else. To believe anything else. I hate crying and avoid it. Its like im always crying. Is there anyone out there that has beenthrough this. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. Prayer just doesnt seem like an answer. I’m not confident enough for a response though ive gotten so many. I think that i am suppose to feel this way but I am newly converted. And bam! Its too much. Please i need some kind of answer.