My name is Braylon Marquis Mcmiller. It is July 16, 2025, and I’m a Christian and I’ve been hearing a lot about how God is going back soon and being the disgusting human being I am and the failure of a Christian that I am. I have proceeded to carry on selfishly with my sin. And I am lost.
I have struggled with lust for a very, very long time I’ve kept it away from all my friends and all my family for the most part and I hate to admit it was even part of the reason why I’m not in the military anymore Because I have such a frail heart and I have no ambition no goals no passions in life. I have done nothing really to actually ever earn the crown that God gives to his followers and a lot of the times I even wonder why he calls upon me or why I’m even here on earth a lot of times. I wish I was just dead and gone.
I wish I just wasn’t here. I wish I had never been born in the first place. And I know that’s probably just being a young and harsh dude on myself but a lot of the times it just feels like I’m not worthy and I hate that I think this way cause God’s God takes us as we are. But I just I’m so selfish and I can’t even see God taking me as I am and like literally today, I’ve moved into a new place about two weeks ago.
A train or tornado siren went off today and I thought it was trumpet and that’s how paranoid my heart feels like it’s about to beat out of my chest even now and it literally hurts right now because I was that afraid that I wasn’t going to make it and even after hearing story on top of story, I’ve seen so much proof in my life about God and how he feels and the fact that I just get to act like this; I just hate it. I hate it so much. I hate the man that I am. If you would even call me a man, I don’t even know what I am and I just I had to share this with other people. I just I couldn’t keep this to myself anymore cause I just I don’t know what to do anymore. If there’s anything you should take from this, it’s that you should not be like me.
Hold God close to your heart and keep his commandments at hand and listen to him, his signs, his spirit his prophets. Don’t ignore him. Hold him closer than you do anything else in life.
Hello my brother. First of all i want you to know that I have me there just like you, battled with lust for a long time as well. But let me tell you. No one is perfect and God is not looking for perfection from us, why? Because we are made perfect in Jesus Christ our lord.
Secondly, what you feel or think about your self is not the reality. The reality is who God says you are and that is final and he has made you righteous in Christ Jesus.
Lastly, the real battle goes on in the mind, and those voices that make you feel that way are just demons ribbing your peace. Know the truth and the truth shall set you free. What is the truth then? Jesus Christ. For there’s now no condemnation among those who are in Christ. So therefore if God doesn’t condemn you..say to those voices that how dare you condemn me.
2nd Corinthians 10:5
So therefore any thought that condemns you and makes u feel unworthy take it captive and refer it to the word of God ..You are righteous in Jesus Christ.
Lastly my brother a soldier fights on.You are enlisted in the army of God the day you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour so get UP CHAMP!! AND FIGHT THE GOOD BATTLE OF FAITH ..we all in this together Jesus christ our strength. God bless you.
God created you for a purpose. The devil always comes to stand against us from fulfilling the purpose of God for us. We are asked to resist the devil and he will flee from us.
No matter the sin around you, God is not giving up on you. He said we should come unto Him no matter how great our sins are, that He will forgive us. Surrender yourself fully unto God and allow His purpose to come to pass in your life. God has a good plan for you and this His plan can only come to pass if you allow Him.
We cannot overcome sin by our power but by the power of God. Dedicate your life unto God as you repent of your sin and ask God to empower you to overcome the sin. Pray regularly, study the Bible regularly and fellowship with brethren.
May the Prince of Peace calm every storm around you. May the Lord be merciful unto you and give you power over sin. May the Lord restore your lost years. May the Lord help you to fulfill His purpose for your life in Jesus name.
Shalom
And to you dear Emory, this Friday 7/25 yet marks your anniversary date of 7/25/2004 – Happy Anniversary – Now 21 Years of Testimony Share! I’m celebrating too, now in my 11th year of having become a Christian, so I can certainly understand how Braylon feels with his testimony being shared here. I was such a mess of a human being, but then I was chosen, hand-picked by the Lord Himself, to pull me out of such a life soaked in sin. Why me? So the one thing that I keep reminding myself of is that we do not choose Christ, He chooses us, and that we should produce fruit, and that fruit should remain. And yes, our faith will certainly be tested, whether we like it or not.
So Emory, I’m most thankful for your website, and in 4 more years Testimony Share will be 25 – a quarter of a century! With so many more testimonies yet to tell. I can only hope to be right here!
Luke,
Appreciate you mentioning that and we’ll have to plan a celebration, God willing, in 25 years. I hope He keeps using the site and believers like yourself to encourage the saints and point nonbelievers to Christ.
He indeed chooses us and that’s something I’ve become more aware of in recent years. Your comment reminds me of Ephesians 2:10 and maybe this will be helpful to you, Braylon:
Btw, Braylon if you’re reading this, how are you doing?
Keep holding onto your faith in Jesus, brother. We all go through these difficult times when Satan is testing us. Think of the testing that Job went through in the O.T. I have gone through some incredibly difficult testing in my life as well. The battle never seems to end, but don’t give up. It’s going to be worth it all to walk the streets of heaven.
Braylon, your life has meaning and purpose in the testimony you shared here!!! I am so impressed with your honesty and courage to lay out a personal struggle so many of us have but are afraid to be so bold. God will bless you and YOU are a blessing. Glory to God who alone is the one who can help us in our struggle.
If you confess your sins he is merciful enough to forgive no matter what you have done and don’t let the devil spout out lies God loves you just as you are he takes his transformation little at a time at his time