I’m Fatimah Nuzrah. I’m in my 20’s. My Father is Muslim. My Mother is Christian. My Father left me when I was 2 years old and my bro was 5 years old. He has his own reasons but mainly it was over a religious conflict. So it was the end of my mom’s marriage. Since then I and My Brother grew up with one parent. My mother took care of us alone without anyone’s help and dedicated us to the LORD as we were born. Praise the LORD Almighty for he had already blessed my mom’s life with a good professional job at a well-known company that she played the role of both parents so well more than we could ever ask. I still remember when I entered 1st grade; I was guided to learn Islam, because of my birth name. Then with the help of my mother’s friend who was a teacher at school guided me to learn Roman Catholic. Afterwards whenever I was sent to learn Islam during my religion period I used to come running to learn RC. I learned about Jesus Christ, who I started to Love the most as my Father and my God.
I don’t remember missing a father figure (my own earthly Father) until my teens, maybe because my mother provided all my wants and needs. But I always missed something in my life as I grow up. I used to be a horny, lonely, weird kid at school thus I wanted to change my life and get adapted to the worldly behaviors. As a result I made up loads of friends and began to love the world. I thought dancing, drinking and partying with friends day-to-day were the real life! In a short period I got addicted to many things that I was too obsessed with them to get rid of. International cinema, modeling and dancing are few of them. My focus, intentions and goals were so on the world that I hardly talk to my own family those days. I was a lost kid, seeking for company of friends rather than my family. But it was always the bad ones.
By then I was too far away from the LORD that I seldom went to church or talk to him and also I had many arguments with my mom over simple things which usually ended up making her cry and making her regret of ever giving birth to me. Whenever she scolded or advised me, my only complaint was missing my dad around me. This complaint rose over and over again when I was in my teens. Maybe because I always doubted my mom favored my brother than me. Now I know I’m totally wrong. But I couldn’t help at that time. Somehow my love for the world lasted for a short while. Because gradually the world started hating me, the friends I thought who were my best, became jealous back biters, back-stabbers, betrayers, liars, cowards, deserters, double-dealers and pretenders, who abandoned me, talked behind my back, embarrassed me and finally betrayed me.
The more I experienced the world the more I was disappointed that I got too sick and fed up of it. I was passing my teenage years when I had to face these struggles. It was too hard for me to bear that every day I lived in this world was like hell. When the world started hating me, I hated myself and my own family and tried to run away from them. I felt so alone that I couldn’t seek anyone’s support or help since I rejected the ones who loved me. I was mocked and criticized for every single thing I did. I lost hope in me. After finishing school, I lived hating this world and was too afraid since they judged me. I had no one to share my pain, my struggle, my life or my feelings. I was too ashamed of the mistakes I did and of the sinful life. At the end of it I thought that I lost the game, lost to myself. I never even thought going before the LORD to confess my sins cuz I felt so unworthy of myself to go to his presence.
After many struggles and inner wars, one night (8/1/2011), I reached him, my true Father JESUS CHRIST. I told him about how this world was treating me and how I too badly want to come to him. I asked him to accept me as his child.
I confessed my sins. I repented that I was too sorry for the things I did and asked for his forgiveness. I’d been confessing for many things, but that night and hour was indeed a special and last night of my sinful life. Where I confessed so deeply and encountered the LORD of LORDs and KING of Kings in a dream.
Yes, that same night I had a dream around morning, where I found myself standing in my school yard looking at the sky. It was not a mid day nor night but I saw there the sun in the sky and it was getting into many shapes from star to an octagon. I felt weird when the sun changes, got a feeling like it was the world’s end. As I was kept looking to the changes of the sky, the clouds were parted slowly and the earth was appearing to me so visibly in a round shape. I was more eagerly gazing up and felt deeply within me that I was going to see something unexpected. In my dream, I had my friends near me who I called on to look to the skies to see what I was seeing, but in that same dream, they couldn’t see what I saw up on the skies it was me only alone who could experience not my school mates. Then I saw one third of the earth was being completely burned and consumed with fire and removed totally from the earth and the rest of the part which was split joined the other like there was no destruction happened.
“One-third of the earth was set on fire” (Revelation 8:7)
It was more seemed like a prophecy from the LORD which was about to happen on this earth soon. When it was ceasing to be visible I saw the LORD JESUS CHRIST’S face where he hung on the cross with his eyes closed in pain. Wearing the crown of thorns, that his eyes were barely opened. I called for my friends to see him on the sky, though no one could see him except me. It lasted for only a few seconds, afterwards there was a transparent layer of the sky which went invisible slowly that I began to panic and felt deep in me that something terrible was going to take place as soon as the clouds joined. I ran to the school entrance to get out of the school (The place I saw all the incidents took place) All of a sudden an angel-like girl with two plaits entered the school carrying a hamper. Some tiny portions were inside of that hamper and she went ahead of the yard throwing them here and there. It was more like throwing powder in the air.
Wherever she threw it, buildings collapsed to ground, one by one into dust. After destroying some sections of the school with that portion, she came near the place where I was standing; I was terrified. She stood a bit far away from me, and then started calling my name. As soon as I heard it, I raised my hand and went running towards her to tell that it was me she called out. She then held my hand, took me aside and told me “The LORD has forgiven all your sins” also she added “You have to come with us”
I was like OH MY GOD! I had feelings of relief, amazement and confusion by what she just said me which really made me shed tears of joy and relief in that dream. I asked her back when I should come with her? As she just went on about it, I couldn’t get her properly, it was unclear for me thus I could remember only up to that in my dream. Maybe she didn’t want me to know the date of my death or maybe not though all I could clearly assure was she’s a messenger of the LORD Almighty.
Anyhow, it’s the most unforgettable experience in my life which I realized deep within me that I’d got the salvation through JESUS CHRIST. Hallelujah!!!!
“My life began in the moment when you proved your glory.
I hit my knees for the first time in the season of my mourning.
I’ve been set free, and now I see.
This is the start of a new beginning.
This dark season has begun to fade.
Start living like I’m a new creation.
Burn inside me, and I’ll go your way.
Another day, I pray that you reveal more of my story.
Take my life.
Make it something more for you the one and only savior, redeemer, my truth.
I’ve been set free, and now I see that
This is the transformation, the ending of the season.
I’ll go your way.
I’ll sing a proclamation.
This is my burden’s calling.
Set your truth free.
On my knees, I am free.”
Lyrics for New Beginning by SHAKEN