I am a strong believer in Christ and I named Him as my savior. I am a Sophomore in college and I love Chemistry a lot which is actually my major. One of my biggest dreams is to become a medical doctor and work in undeveloped countries where there is a big shortage of medical doctors. I decided to major in Chemistry but the road has been challenging. I have always believed in doing something that I am passionate about and this is Chemistry. I plan on going to medical school right after I graduate. However, medical schools are very competitive and my grades have been bad because the Calculus and Physics put my grade point average very low and yet I’m performing really well in my other courses.
I accepted Christ this past summer when I went to India to volunteer working with orphans from this non profit organisation. The road of my faith has been getting shaken each time I am in trouble like this. I cry everyday, I have lost weight, I have endless assignments everyday and I feel like I have no life. I am currently on a full scholarship and I have to keep at least a 3.0 gpa to be considered for it each semester. So far I have a 2.81 and God already made a miracle by not letting my scholarship taken away. My parents don’t like me and I financially support myself and the help of friends.
I have though of committing suicide many times but I always tell myself that God hasn’t failed me yet. I read the Bible everyday, each night and each morning before I go to class but it seems what I asked the Lord to do for me hasn’t been done. Because of this, I have been doubting a lot but at the same time I know God is faithful until the end. This semester, I am scared , in fear because my PA is going down soon since im failing Calculus and Physics. Since I am pre-med, these classes are required and I cant imagine giving up my dream of wanting to go to medical school just because of these subjects.
I am scared that my scholarship will be taken away and the road to medical school will not be possible. I am faithful that the Lord will deliver me from this trouble. I feel like giving up sometimes but I cant because so many people like my parents want me to fail. my father kicked me out of the house when in high school and now I live with my high school teacher. My mom died and have nobody who can support me. Most of the people who are helping right now are expecting me to do well in school and accomplish my dream and be able to support myself.
As I type this, I am crying. I sleep about 4,5 or even less only studying and putting my best effort. I get tutoring which is only 30 minutes session once a day but sometimes I cant make it because I have classes. This Monday i will be getting my Physics test back and I’m so scared that I feel like quitting right now and drop out of college. The lord is faith again and I keep telling myself this. God didn’t just put me in college and then abandon me. I believe that he can help me and I need to trust in Him. I am waiting for God to do a miracle on my final exams so that I can have a descent GPA and grades. Please friends, pray for me and I believe that the almighty will help me. God is faithful and He will not leave me. Thank you.