Ok, so a new revelation today. For years I found out I had been a new ager. I was unaware that I was. That I hated me… Me. As gods word says “my people perish due to lack of knowledge.”
I was always a vulnerable kid growing up. I was always curious, as they say curiosity kills the cat but by faith I’d get to live to tell my story, thanks to Jesus taking the rap for my foolishness.
I was hurt by people. I wanted revenge on my own family. They later found out I contacted new Agers to find info on why my mother treated me a certain way i.e. abuse. I regret my actions. It has affected my life, God’s seeing his son lost in a big mess.
It could of been over ages ago. I admit I had a problem. If I could change things… I should of talked to Jesus about it and communicated with my mom. Our relationship was and still is a rocky one due to my actions and choices in life and other things she had to go through.
One day I will confess to her what I did to her face to face and apologise… or over the phone. I’m ashamed of my behaviour. I’m a hypocrite, always mocking and judging others but yet I had major skeletons in my closet including homosexuality, drinking, alcohol, pornography, addiction, lust, fornication and smoking that ruined my teeth.
I would pray against new agers and that community not knowing that I was my own worst enemy. And yet God was, and still is faithful, paying all my debts. Taking the flack for me when I should of be paying it in hell!
If you can learn anything from my story, “don’t act out in anger” wanting to get revenge on anyone. It’s not worth costing your life, meaning selling your soul to make anyone who had hurt you pay. But through it all Jesus has been faithful to me patient forgiving and merciful.