PLEASE HELP ME
My boyfriend broke up with me. I can’t handle this.
He said he wants to love God first, that before he fixes his relationship, he has to fix his life first with the Lord. He’s excited about his journey God and he wants me to understand… What’s really troubling me is he left me no clues as to where our love is leading.
I think he was sincere when he told me his reason. I think God’s telling me to fix my life as well.
I think he is more of pursuing refinement in his life and a better relationship with God rather than ministry. Because we can be both in the ministry. My heartache is that he closed all means of communication between us, you know, he started the breaking up idea on Friday, Feb 10. I already knew what he wanted but before the end of our conversation on Friday, he said he loves me and that he’s still my boyfriend.
Saturday morning, he’s as normal as before. he calls me honey and still says I love you, but Saturday night, he became so firm about the breakup but assured me that the space he’s asking has nothing to do with the two of us. It has something to do with his relationship with God, he said. He said that’s the help i could give him to give him space and time with the Lord.
Some people suggested that we stop first the communication and let each other think. I think that’s what he followed.
I really love him that much. And I want to see also what God is telling me in this situation.
I was full of hope that if I give him the time he wants, he would come to realize that we could still pursue our relationship while at the same time, following and serving God through our ministries. But just after a week of silence, he sent me a message that he does not love me anymore like before. There had been change in how he feels for me. He said that he might have explained it in a wrong way but part of his decision to just focus on God is for him to understand what caused him to have changes of feelings towards me. He also would like to know where God would direct him after this.
He told me not to expect anymore because the only thing he could offer now is friendship. He wants me to move forward.
No matter how I try to just accept it so that I’d not be hurt anymore, something’s telling me to still not give up on him. It’s because I am always reminded how God brought us to each other. It was a night when he was so sick that I laid my hand on his back and prayed for him. I was praying for healing but something struck me. I then whispered to God without understanding anything that I would love him. After my prayer, he vomitted so hard and became well as if he had not been sick at all. Since that day, without us knowing, God has planted in our hearts the love for each other. That was 4 years ago.
He was still sweet to me days before the break up. In fact whenever i push him away, he’s the one who initiates reconciliation. He would always say that he loves me so much to lose me.
I am working in Thailand now and he’s in the Philippines. I have a certain feeling that he might have felt out of love because we’ve not been together. And he would always say that he misses me and he feels bad that sometimes I do not have time for him. When he told he does not love me anymore, I couldn’t believe it because just 2 months ago, we’ve been together in the Philippines when I went home for Christmas vacation. He was so sweet and so caring more than ever. I really felt how he loves me and how he missed me for the times we were not together.
This June, I’d be coming back to the Philippines. My decision for now is not to renew my contract in Thailand so that I could be with him and see if it could still work out. But the reason is not only that, I am also not happy anymore with my ministry here in Thailand. It felt like going to church is obligatory for me now and I don’t enjoy it anymore. I feel that going back to my home church would be best for me. I don’t want to serve God yet I am not happy. I am not blessed anymore with the people in the church.
Actually, I feel closer to God in meditation rather than attending services. My home church in the Philippines is still the best place where I think I could grow in Christ. And there I enjoy doing a lot of ministries though the tasks in the Philippines are heavier than my tasks here. It’s the enjoyment of serving and the growth I can have in my home church that make me want to go back.
Now, I am torn between coming back for my boyfriend and home church, and the fact that I earn a lot here in Thailand. Actually, even when we’re still in the relationship, I already had bad feelings towards the church here. I am not growing anymore.
I have a lot things in my mind, also the reason why I couldn’t organize my thoughts well as I write here.
Anyway, to summarize it all, I want to seek advice regarding my boyfriend’s feelings, how should I act, how do I pray for this and my decision to finally settle in my home country and leave my work here. I still know that if God is calling me in Thailand, I could still go back when I want to. It’s just that I want to rest first in my own country to find joy once again in serving.
If you place God first in your life, He will direct you and work things out for you.Seek Him first.
Thank you, Zoe_Selah… That’s really my focus now. To focus on God and go back to Him—-my first LOVE.. It’s just that I always worry about things that might happen. Please pray that I would learn to trust in Him more than I used to.
I will pray for you and remember faith is the victory over worry:)
according to me it is wrong because it is ok that u have bf but more than ur bf ur loving lord loves he create u before the foundation of the world so please surrender urself unto god today itself and ask lord for whom i should lead my life whether for my bf or for you. after examining please reply sorry.
I am entrusting everything to God now. I still want to save our relationship, but I leave it all to God. Who knows, in His perfect time, my boyfriend and I could still be together. If not, I will trust that it’s HIS perfect will.
Destiny is not easy to run from!
To do his supreme work of grace within you He will take from your heart everything you love most.Everything you trust in will go from you.Two weeks ago,i broke up like this to a lady i loved most.
It is well with your soul..
You both are working for God.
I can guess how much it could be hurting you. Don’t know dear how to help you or tell you advice. Will do the only thing that I can. That is pray for you.
Tell everything to God. Write up everything that comes into your mind and trust me God will help you.
I’ll pray for both of you. Give God the foremost place in your life. Don’t ever let your feelings for your boyfriend overshadow your love for Jesus.
Hugs dear! Love you as a friend.
Hey dear, I can relate your testimony to mine as my man left to look after his family, nothing wrong with that but we lost all communications, it was God’s purpose, please read the comment below that i posted on “Will God Bring him back”
And yes when you are directed by God’s holy spirit, he tells us one thing…total submission to God, ur blessed that ur man is seeking God, do not fear, everything is under God’s control and be assured of your own salvation, God had to start his work either in u or him so God chose him, this is meant only for your good so u both can serve me wholeheartedly in future, please read the comment below.
AsianJesusLover Says:
March 4th, 2012 at 12:52 pm
Dear precious daughter of Christ,
A miracle is on the door, tonight i got online and i prayed to Jesus for a minute asking him to tell me what i should do online tonight and God led me to your testimony which is related to mine, thats not a coincidence, thats God already at work in your life hence he directed me to ur testimony.
Dear sis,
When i was an atheist i still one day prayed to God at the age of 17 for a soulmate out of my loneliness, he heard the grief of my soul, thank God for that and within a month or so he brought the man of my dreams, he was beyond my expectations, we cherished our time together, we were so strong together, it continued for 5 yrs and throughout this time i was still a spoilt child, no reverence for God, Jesus Christ.
But God never neglected me, he overlooked my arrogance and continued his work in my life that one day i would believe on him. well God always has the final say.he separated us two, we never broke up, he just moved to australia to look after his family, thats when i felt very sad and depressed and so angry at God why he took him away when he brought this man into my life, i had bfs before him but he was the man of my life, he was sent by God as an answer to my prayer, but i was so angry at God, i said. why u sent me snake when i asked for bread.
Now here’s this. It is the brokenness of the spirit, the grief of our soul that brings us closer to Christ and he makes everything perfect concerning us, he said. my daughter, your my child, i give you beyond your expectations when you just ask me but during this time when u were rejoicing in your soulmate, my temples (meaning this man and me) were still lying in ruins, unsaved, so enslaved to this world, unprotected from the burning hell and demons, ungodly, I saw your future and your future lies in ruins, i will not let you die, there is no condemnation in me, i will give you life and you both shall seek the Lord, so i scattered you two so you will seek me with all your heart.
Tho i scattered you for a short time, my spirit will guard you, protect you and make you holy in my eyes, then when i have cleansed and sanctified you with my blood, when i have made your stubborn heart of stone into a heart of flesh and Lord fearing children then i will rebuilt the ruins, be not afraid my child, let your hands be strong, wait in hope, i will rebuilt the ruins the glory of the future house will be greater than the glory of the present house.
Lord has given me faith and also gave me a responsibility to pray for my man’s salvation, just know dear.there is no sacrifice of love in Christ, Christ is Love and you have pure love and not lust for your man then be assured God himself will make sure that this marriage takes place.
Pray for both your salvation and holy spirit baptism, when God began to talk to me in my heart and thru his word of God, i was transformed into a different person without my knowledge and effort, im still amazed at Jesus how he really changed my stoned heart into a heart of flesh when i went to total surrenderence in God believing he wants my heart not my sacrifice for love, there is no sacrifice or sadness in him he is hope and so we are the prisons of hope, have faith in Christ for he works and gives according to your faith. God wants a hopeful and a faithful heart not a doubtful sad or sacrificing heart.
I know your heart feels betrayed, lonely, questioning, anger towards God and man, I have gone thru this, give your wounded soul and heart to Jesus, submit it to him completely, he will heal that wound and give you the deepest desires of your heart, let Christ come in, let him be glorified through your faith, let him do an amazing miracle in your life and bring your man right at your door step all changed and GOD fearing man so that you two holy temples of Christ will serve together to the Lord and bring millions of lost souls to him.
Thank him for this temporary separation, when things go out of our control, thats where God comes in and acts according to your faith.
The day when u posted this testimony, 9th feb 2012, this is the date of birth of my beloved man, thats an amazing miracle to me.
Remain in faith, be assured, nobody can know your tears, your pain your sorrow better than Lord himself.
Wow, Amazing. I’ll do just that. I’ve been trying to get him back my way do praying but I seem not to be patient. Now I’ll intensify my faith in God and believe him for a miracle by faith. I even think it’s an opportunity to pray for his soul.
I so needed to read this. So similar to what I’m going through
im so so so sorry, i meant to say….so both of you can serve GOD like me wholeheartedly, im sorry i dont know how it happened i feel like laughing now, my apologies
God is the god of everything. there is nothing he cant change. I pray every day and night, that god restore my faith. I pray for faith everyday. I know god is working on my prayers,and in his perfect time, which will not be my perfect time. i am grateful for all the blessing that he have given to me. I will be patient and pray, because ehe place love in my heart,and told be my lonely days will be over. I prayed for love. he brought it to me. The person that I love is evolving with his relationship with christ. i will keep praying that my faith get stronger and stronger, I know God is there for me, and want me his child to be happy. May god bless our love and union. Thank you jesus for bringing him to me, please continue to clear any negative energies that keep us apart. I know the lord will heal us, and bring us together. In Jesus name. I love you god. thank you god for my future happiness in advance. Amen
My heart and prayers are with you. I dont know exactly how long this has been for you, but I wanted to share how amazing I think it is that you listened trusted, and walked with him. I can tell you that I did not do that and it was the hardest three years of my life!!!! Even though god would speak to me, shown me, I would not listen. The funniest thing is there have been so many times even recently where I have prayed to hear and understand him better (of course when I want it – Lord forgive me) but when I did not want to hear him… He was screaming at me at it was the only time in my life where I heard him so clearly and did not listen. I was married for 10 years, born again. Tusted in god, good mom very didicated wife, great job but my husband did not believe in god. I prayed and prayed that my husband at the time would become the spiritual leader of our family (after the lord) but he was a totally against believing in god. I prayed every day on my way to work and in the shower every morning that god would soften his heart and he would accept christ… and nothing. One day I told my husband that I prayed that god would not have to put us through anything life changing for my husband to hear his calling, I has chills when I told him this I remember it very clearly. Two weeks later my boss told me I needed to travel for work out of the country and that it would only be for 3 weeks. I discussed it with my family they all supported it and agreed to go….NOT KNOWING THAT MY LIFE WAS ABOUT TO CHANGE FOREVERRRR!!!! Arriving in a new country I was excited to get to work and show off my experience and talent… to make it short I met a person in the office I went to help bring up to speed ( I never in my life ever thought I would be able to even look at a nother person) I used to judge people who cheated on their spouses… and god totally put me in my place. So I am sure you can tell that yes, I had an affair with this person… months later I left my husband and started a relationship with this new person. I have no idea how my heart became so cold and my faith and commitment to god no longer mattered. Looking back now I claim the victory of that situation for christ, yes I fell and yes I sinned and yes I made a ton of mistakes but I am a different person who trusts and believes in god on a much deeper level then ever. So getting back, I as with this person and from day one I knew he was wrong for me and that I was wrong for him. Without going itno three years of drama … let me give you an overview. We fought bad all the time, when this had never been a part of me behavior not even in my 10 year with my exhusband. He was really wired for fighting, for controling every aspect of me even my emotions, what I wore, who I spoke with. He wanted to be able to go out and do his things with no question but I could not. Anyway I lived in one country and he lived in the other. My three week assignment ended up turnig into a 1.5 year contract and later a job offer that I did not take (thank the lord). So for 1.5 of the 3 years I was living in this other country, traveling back forth to the US to see family specifically my two kids, who at the time I had no emotional responsability for. Trust me this was CRAZY!!! Let me give you a quick peek at what the devil can do…. The night before I left for at the time my three week assignment, I cried, held my kids until the moment I had to go to the airport. Right before leaving my house I told my husband that I decided I was not going to go, he pushed me and said no you have to do this. I cried the whole way there !!!! 14 hours on the plane and crying the whole time. I had never spent more then one night away from my children and that was only if they went to a relatives house for a sleepover. So you can imagine how disconnected I was. So getting back, at the 1.5 year mark I was offered two jobs one in the country I had been assigned to and one back in the US. The job title outside of the US was way better and funny the salary in the US was amazing… So I took the US job. At the time I left the plan was that my new boyfirend (now for a year) was going to move back with me. We figured that it would only take a few months. Well that never happened, I continued to travel between the two countries spent more money then I can ever try to add up. And the whole time we fought about everything but I could not let him go. God started really shouting at me… Letting things happen to me I think to try and get my attention to follow his word. But nope, what ever had a hold of me was way stronger. So we continued to stay together fighting one day, being so harmful to eachother and yet the next day there was this intense feeling of love. I struggled with everything during those three years, lost all of my friends, my children who although I have not lost them on paper, they dont trust me, they thing I am never going to be home, or take care of them, I am so ashamed for the pain I have caused them and know that only through Jesus will I be able to med it (working on that now). I had issues with my job, I was headed for this amazing career, and gave it up just like that … now I am working on my way up again trusting what ever path god has for me. So after losing , My relationship with god, my kids, my friends, my position, tons of money, hundreds of nights crying ….. I finally finally woke up after god shook me harder then ever. I had been praying for a long time for god to release me from my boyfiend and that I wanted to feel close to god again but it was almost like he was not ready or I had not learned what I needed to yet. So recently I had this horribly unjust ujnfair event happen in my life, that was so beyond odd … the only way I think it happened was because god wanted me to wake up and because I did not take any of his other offers to walk right … he let it happen. I was put in the most horrible, shamming, public situation that never should have happened. Yet the minute it happened I knew it was god. I knew the second it happened that he was going to let this happen and that I had better pay attention, take everything I could from the situation and use it to benefit god’s glory and his word. So basically I went to jail, I had never ever in my life even been arrested and I was going to jail for something I had not done it was CRAZY !! I have always judged called myself a christian but really did not have friends give people opportunities that were outside of my what I thought “social class” – I am so thankful that I do not think this way anymore!! So yes I was arrested, in my brand name clothes, in front of a lot of people who I thought were very important because of their status …. and it was happening becuase I was not listening or walking with Christ and I had not been for a long time (I did not do drugs, or drink) I was just stuck on myself and my boyfriend and our image. So right when this happened I realized that this was going to be okay if I listened followed him. So I sat in this jail scary and just looked and at first judged everyone around me … thinking to myself “these are dirty people who have done something wrong” Right when I thought that — my very next thought was … oh no no do not do that , and from that moment on I pray that never again would I ever judge another person no matter what, also I was there and innocent so what made me think they were not?? I sat and prayed for those around me. When I got home, I sat and prayed, I realized that I no longer had this feeling of love or the idea that I could not live without my boyfriend (crazy cause the day before I was thinking of leaving the US again for good to go be with him, evem though neither of us were in the right place with god and we treated eachother really bad). So this feeling of not living without him was gone… a sense of “now beings my destiny and gods plan” took over me. At the same time I knew that needed to break up with him, in a way that would honor god and still love him as a child of god and pray for him. So I did, I left him… and my lasts words to him were that I will love you always as a child of christ, I will be your prayer warrior, look for god his will be your path and trust him. There have been moments where I think wow I am going to be horrible without him, but that goes away fast…I know I Still must stay close to go to ensure I do look for him. So I just gave you way too much, the purpose is ….. If I would have followed god a long time ago I would not have lost so much, and I am sure he would have still been able to take me down the right path….without having to go thru all of that. The blessing is that he although I totally messed up has used my sin to get me back on track.
Lord – Help me to acknowledge that you are with me at all times, soften my heart so I can hear your guidance and give me the strenth thruogh Christ to follow your word. Remind me to be kind and loving with all, to give of myself and serve others because when I serve them I serve you. Guide me to be a positive impact on others lives and not cause pain, and when I fail, use my wrong doings as belssings I claim them for you in the name of JESUS CHRIST. Help me to focus every day on serving you with quality and to the profoundest level possible. Lord let every interaction remind me to not judge, and to pray and be loving to those who judge me. Let every breath and every step I take be in the direction of your desire and let by your word. I thank you lord for using me to spead your good word and the awakening through you. Lord I ask that you remove fear from my heart, protect me and shelter me when I reach out to share Christ unless your needs are othewise. With every material and emotion I feel touch or experiene remind me that they are for you by you and to serve. Most of all thank you for letting me be a part of your family, with all of my love
thank for sharing about testimony, i just have a broken heart from my ex boyfriend also, first i cant believe this situation, and i dont understand, i need pray for this, i still love him so much and i need God to lead me. i want to meet him again