Different But Loved

My name is Trav, and for a long time I wondered why God made me different. I was born with an intellectual developmental disability, and growing up, I often felt behind everyone else. In school, I was the quiet kid. I struggled socially, struggled with confidence, and honestly just wanted to fit in. A lot of times I felt unseen. I remember asking God questions like, “Why did You make me this way?” and “Do You even have a purpose for me?”

When I was nine years old, I lost my grandparents. That changed me deeply. They were people who made me feel safe, loved, and accepted. After they passed away, I carried a lot of loneliness and confusion.

As I got older, I also struggled with feeling unwanted socially and romantically. I wanted connection so badly. I dreamed of becoming a husband and father someday, but there were moments where I honestly wondered if anyone would ever truly see me for who I am.

Even though I believed in God, there was a season where I felt unworthy of His attention. I thought maybe I was too broken, too different, or too weak to really be used by Him. But God kept pursuing me anyway.

One of the biggest turning points in my life came through John 9, where Jesus’ disciples asked Him why a man was born blind. They assumed someone had sinned. But Jesus answered:

“This happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” – John 9:3

That verse hit me hard. For the first time, I realized my disability was not proof that God forgot me. It was proof that God could still work through me. I stopped seeing myself as a mistake and started seeing myself as someone created with purpose.

Later in life, after heartbreak, loneliness, and emotional lows, I had a moment that changed my faith forever. I remember crying out to God, feeling exhausted and empty, and in that moment I had a vision of Jesus. I felt Him say:

“I have always been with you. You will be a light to many, and it will glorify Me.”

That moment changed everything for me.

Since then, God has opened doors I never imagined. I became involved in Young Life and started leading high school students. Me – the shy kid who used to feel invisible – now gets to speak life into others. I’ve shared my testimony with kids with disabilities, spoken about faith, and started projects like my podcast and my book, Different but Loved.

My story is not about having a perfect life. I still have struggles. I still battle insecurity and anxiety sometimes. But now I know Jesus walks with me through all of it.

What I’ve learned is this: God does not only use the strongest, smartest, coolest, or most popular people. Sometimes He uses the people the world overlooks so His glory shines even brighter.

If you feel different, forgotten, or broken, I want you to know something: your life has purpose. God sees you completely, and He can use your story in ways you cannot even imagine yet.

I used to ask, “Why did God make me different?”

Now I ask, “How can God use my difference to help others?”